Prioritizing

old windowI spent a lot of time reading the literature about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).  It’s good to arm yourself with the tools that help you deal with a narcissist.  There’s a lot written about how narcissists need to have their narcissism fed.  Constant admiration and adulation is food to a narcississt.  In the absence of that adulation, they will find a new source.

When thinking of narcissism, I always pictured a tree searching for water.  It has to have water for survival.  Some trees send roots deep into the ground.  Other trees, like aspens, have shallow root systems.  Narcissists have shallow root systems.  They are never loyal to one source.  They don’t trust their partner to always feed them, so they turn to their kids or their employees or a new lover.

I had moved out.  I had purchased my own home.  The kids and I were settled.

A year had gone by and he informed me that he was irritated that he was no longer my priority.  That was always an issue when I lived with him.  No matter how my life would get turned upside down, no matter what I cooked for him, or how I cleaned for him, or the relationships I ended so as to have more time for him, he’d always complain that he wasn’t my priority.  And now that I wasn’t even living under the same roof with him, he still couldn’t believe that he wasn’t my priority.

Imagine a person having that thought.  Then imagine that person actually putting that thought to words – “Why am I no longer your priority?”

It clearly would always be all about him.

It doesn’t matter that we no longer share the same house.

It doesn’t matter that I left him.

What matters is that I must always make him my first priority – above the kids, above myself, above all else.

Related Post

Narcissism and Lack of Awareness I am writing at the purple table.  I reach for a sip of coffee and kick the cat. I did not kick her on purpose. I've already mentioned that we live with the world's most patient cat.  She is affectionate and loving, and she likes my ankles. ...
Listening To My Body* I walked out of the doctor’s office and ran across the street to the drug store where everyone knew me by name.  I was out of Pepcid.  I had a box in the bathroom, two in the kitchen cupboard, one in the office desk, and one under the car seat, but t...
No One Can Cut Your Shadow In Half "How did you sleep?"  "Did you have any dreams?"  Each morning begins the same way.  While rubbing eyes and stretching long thin arms, we ask each other how the night was.  We've talked about dreams since the kids could talk, or since they first star...
A Wink From the Universe She certainly didn't need another cup of coffee. She looked inside her purse to make sure the box of Pepcid was there.  She wouldn't have been surprised if - in the panic this morning - she'd left it on the kitchen counter. Good.  There was the...

Tags: , , , , ,

Leave a comment