Jenny is bummed because her closest friend is drifting away. Last year they were in the same class. This year they are in different classes, and while we arrange for the girls to get together outside of class, the relationship is definitely changing. Jen doesn’t understand why Hailey isn’t interested in the same things anymore. Jen wants to know why Hailey doesn’t listen anymore. That’s tough for a 2nd grader. And it’s tough for a 2nd grader’s mom. Continue reading →
November, 2009
16
Nov 09
Narcissists and Friendship
A very dear friend called this weekend. We’ve known each other since college. She’s one of those special friends that, although we may not get to visit as much as I’d like, when we do talk, we pick up right where we left off. She’d been reading my blog and thought maybe I needed a call. I didn’t realize I was sending out an S.O.S. That’s a beautiful thing about good friends, they often know you better than you know yourself. They can tell when you are feeling vulnerable, they can appreciate your successes, they know your different phases. They can tell you to quit taking yourself so seriously, just as you can do that for them. Continue reading →
13
Nov 09
Forget It
Don’t sweat it: If you’ve got a problem, look at it. If you can solve it, do it. If you can’t, forget about it.
Unknown
13
Nov 09
When A 15 Minute Trick Doesn’t Cut It
I’ve been around the block a few times — sometimes even stomping my feet while I make the pass. I know that, in some cases, a few deep breaths, or a glass of water, or a handful of nuts, or a self-imposed time-out just won’t do the trick. Hell, I’ve even chugged the glass of water, grabbed the handful of nuts, marched outside, and come storming back in to start scrubbing the floor. By then, I’ve gone way beyond the 15 minutes, and it’s still not working. Continue reading →
12
Nov 09
In Under 15 Minutes
I was irritated this afternoon. I was pissy, bitchy, frustrated and crabby. I felt like I was on the verge of a full-fledged funk. No, it wasn’t my period. No, Mark hadn’t done anything. I was just out-of-sorts. Continue reading →
10
Nov 09
Don’t Be Fooled By The Narcissist
I just came back from a weekend away. It was just four nights, but it required a lot of preparation to make it possible for me to go. I won’t say that I had to move heaven and earth, but I pretty much had to shift the continental U.S. to make it happen. I probably would most likely have more options for child care if I didn’t have a problem with imposing on others. Accommodators don’t like to impose. That is against our very nature. Add to that the fact that if I’m going away on a little holiday, I can’t enjoy myself if I think my kids are going to be miserable. So, I do bend over backwards to make sure all parties will be relatively happy if I should get the chance to go. Continue reading →
6
Nov 09
Narcissists Can’t Dance
I got rid of my piano. I gave away the dining room table. We have a tiny house. But now we have some open floor space on the hardwoods in the dining room. It’s going to stay that way. Every morning we listen to music before we head out the door. Will gets to pick on Mondays and Wednesdays. Jenny picks on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I get Fridays. Most of the time, we are brushing our teeth while dancing in the middle of the dining room. It sets a happier tone and helps us choose a better attitude before we really get the day going. Continue reading →
4
Nov 09
Housekeeping
My bathroom is dirty. The kitchen floor needs to be mopped. I probably haven’t vacuumed in … I’m not going to tell you how long it has been. I was just brushing my teeth, noticed the spots on the bathroom mirror, the dusty bathroom floor and thought, “Hm, I really ought to get to that.” I finished my teeth, turned off the bathroom light and walked away. I can walk away from things like that now. I get to determine when I handle those chores. Continue reading →
