http://survivingnarcissism.com/2009/12/14/ill-take-the-fingernails/ by Jesse Blayne Tue, 07 Feb 2012 21:51:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 http://survivingnarcissism.com/2009/12/14/ill-take-the-fingernails/comment-page-1/#comment-79 Mom Tue, 15 Dec 2009 01:06:34 +0000 http://survivingnarcissism.com/?p=871#comment-79 Hi Jesse: I have a different take on; “It comes naturally for most of us to find the right measure of enthusiasm for any given circumstance. Narcissists don’t have that ability. Maybe it has something to do with their lack of empathy. Perhaps they have to fake all emotions when they are reacting to something that they haven’t created.” I’m not sure it has anything to do with empathy or something they’ve not created. I suspect they can’t risk being genuine in any situation. What if the response is natural and perhaps not perfect? I think male narcissists have conjured their image as a Christlike/Adonis on a pedestal and have to carefully create an unnatural (seemingly perfect) response to any conversation/situation they’re presented with. No one can catch him off guard with a question like, “Hey, would you like to go skiing tomorrow? What’s the weather supposed to do?” He will always promise to get back to you. He hasn’t done his research. What if he’d predicted a warming trend and agreed to go, and instead there was a cold snap and blizzard, and you and he were the only ones to show? He can’t afford the egg on his perfect face. Soooo, he’ll get back to you. I know that’s tough on Will and Jenny too. The sing-songy, baby talk voice, dripping with the blatant falseness of it all – that sometimes works for two or three year olds, but not grade schoolers! They DO have dignity; he just doesn’t recognize that. He only recognizes his own dignity and his own perceived perfection, and it’s pathetic. That’s why he’s happy to make suggestions about the kids’ art or creative writing. He’s simply stating, “I could have done it better!” Hi Jesse:
I have a different take on; “It comes naturally for most of us to find the right measure of enthusiasm for any given circumstance. Narcissists don’t have that ability. Maybe it has something to do with their lack of empathy. Perhaps they have to fake all emotions when they are reacting to something that they haven’t created.” I’m not sure it has anything to do with empathy or something they’ve not created. I suspect they can’t risk being genuine in any situation.
What if the response is natural and perhaps not perfect? I think male narcissists have conjured their image as a Christlike/Adonis on a pedestal and have to carefully create an unnatural (seemingly perfect) response to any conversation/situation they’re presented with. No one can catch him off guard with a question like, “Hey, would you like to go skiing tomorrow? What’s the weather supposed to do?” He will always promise to get back to you. He hasn’t done his research. What if he’d predicted a warming trend and agreed to go, and instead there was a cold snap and blizzard, and you and he were the only ones to show? He can’t afford the egg on his perfect face. Soooo, he’ll get back to you.
I know that’s tough on Will and Jenny too. The sing-songy, baby talk voice, dripping with the blatant falseness of it all – that sometimes works for two or three year olds, but not grade schoolers! They DO have dignity; he just doesn’t recognize that. He only recognizes his own dignity and his own perceived perfection, and it’s pathetic. That’s why he’s happy to make suggestions about the kids’ art or creative writing. He’s simply stating, “I could have done it better!”

]]>