Narcissist Quotes


You cannot make this stuff up.

Only Survivors know how true these quotes are.


Thank you for sharing!



  • “I got myself a new pair of running shoes.  Here — you can have my old ones.”
  • After telling him that I had made an appointment with an Ob/Gyn to discover if I may have fibroids or something more serious, he chimes in with, “Can’t they check your knees while they’re at it?”
  • After single-handedly raising three kids, doing the books for his business, and taking care of the house, he said, “When are you going to learn how to multitask.”
  • He threw a surprise party for my birthday.  We showed up at a restaurant and all his friends were there.  Not a single one of my friends or family was in attendance.   At the end of the meal he said, “Annie, pull out your driver’s license, so I won’t have to pay for your meal.”  On the drive home, he asked if I thought he had done a fine job of planning my party.
  • I have two sets of salt and pepper shakers on the table because he can’t be bothered to pass to me.


  • In the hospital, right after giving birth he said, “Don’t worry about it.  It’s okay.  They’re not allowing me to stay overnight.  I’m hungry anyways.”
  • After I’d been in a car accident he said, “I don’t really know how to get there.  Can you just take a cab to the hospital?”
  • When I informed him that I was leaving our 15-year marriage he said, “Can’t we just renew our vows?”
  • When I asked for some blankets for my one-room apartment he said, “You should have thought of that before you moved out.”
  • “When you drop (our 8 year old son) off, make sure he has on clean clothes and his homework is done.  We’re going out to dinner.”
  • “Let me know the Christmas schedule.  I want them Christmas Day.”
  • “You know I love you.  You just never let me tell you.”
  • “I’m not leaving.  This is my house.  Besides, it will just lead to divorce.”
  • “You want the bedroom mirror?  What am I going to do?”  (With a 4,000 square foot house, all the furnishings, cars, housekeepers, nanny, club memberships…)
  • “This is MY poker party.  When are you dropping off the beer?”
  • “I guess I’ll leave the front door open so you can bring the wrapped Santa gifts (on Christmas Eve).  I really don’t know why you wait until the last minute.”


6/21/12 Update:  Taken from a phone conversation where my voice was…  ah… slightly elevated.

Mark:  “Let the record show that Will canceled Friday’s visit.”

Me:     “Let the record show that Will canceled Friday’s visit because you changed the visit to an all-day biking marathon that included Will and excluded Jenny.  Will didn’t think that was fair.  That’s why he canceled.”


7/16/12 Update:  If they gave out awards for Narcissist Quotes, this one would take high honors.

  • “I cannot be part of this organization unless I am president.”    –  Contributed by Amy R.


1/30/13 Update:

Contributed by L. Reilly:

  • “I pray for humility every morning.”
  • “I’m sort of a pseudo-celebrity in the Philly area.”


Contributed by jj:

  • When pressed for a more fair parenting plan and support for our daughters he said, “I’m not a normal father.”   During the same exchange:  “Well, if we can’t afford them let’s put them up for ADOPTION!!”
  • “I’m a nice person – not to YOU – but I’m nice to a lot of people!!!”
  • “I never was in love with you.


Contributed by S Piva:

  • “All that baby has to do is cry and you go straight and feed or change her.  What about me and what I want?”


11/22/13 Update:

Contributed by Anonymous:

  • My dad, after taking my oldest son to the park for 45 minutes while I nursed 4 lb. newborn in the hospital nursery:  “At first I was counting down the minutes [until time with grandson was over], but then I thought ‘No, I should enjoy this.’”

  • My dad, after my sister told him her dog had cancer: “Oh, sorry. Did I tell you that I asked Anne to marry me and she said yes?”

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  1. I think we deserve the whole candy shop… maybe that is why I have gained 50 pounds…
    I could add and add to the list of quotes. The last couple of days I have had to remind him that it is not always about him…
    Merry Christmas to all of us and happiest of New Year’s

  2. After 30+ years of marriage to my narcissist, alcoholic husband this incident and comment is the straw the broke the camel’s back. I question my sanity as to why it took me so long “to get it”

    I received a call from hospice that my 95 year old father probably would not make it through the rest of the day. I called my husband who was on a business trip in Florida (we live in California). He said he would be on the next flight, get in about midnight and come right to the facility. Midnight came and went without any sign of my husband. At 3:00 am my Dad died peacefully with me alone at his bedside. I got home about 5:00 am, I got a little sleep, then got up about 8:00 am walked out into the kitchen to see my husband standing there leisurely drinking a cup of coffee.
    I said, “Oh, you made it home, why didn’t you come to be with me?
    He said, “Yah, I got home about 2:00 am but I was so exhausted I just came home and went straight to bed”
    I was completely dumbfounded. I didn’t say a word. I just turned around and walked out of the kitchen.
    That pretty much said it all for me.
    The next month I filed for divorce.

  3. Catherine,

    As I read your comment, I felt the urge to jump out of my chair and give you a standing ovation!

    Thanks for writing. You are a brave soul.

  4. After giving birth he told me he was going home because HE was tired. Driving home in a blinding snowstorm I called scared. 12 foot ditches on each side of the road. He said, “you woke me up, hang up and drive” It doesn’t surprise me any more. But it still pretty much sucks. He can twist the truth into anything that suits his needs at the time. Thank you for your site. They are so charming in public and at home it’s all we can do to survive.

  5. Yolanda,

    Your comment hit a nerve with me. If my ex had something to me like that, I would have immediately thought, “What’s wrong with me that I can’t drive myself home from the hospital, by myself, with a newborn, in a blinding snowstorm, and let my poor dear husband get his rest.” Then I would have proceeded to do what he demanded.

    It still blows my mind – the power and control they can have over their source. They have an uncanny ability to make us believe that they are right to make the demands that they do.

    Never again.

    Thanks for writing. All the best to you.

  6. I saw this on his fb page today and I knew there was somewhere here I could share it! I couldn’t keep this to myself!
    (not paraphrased, copy and pasted from his ‘about me’…)

    “I’m like no one you’ve ever met….yes, I said that.”

    BAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!! It’s gonna be a great year! :D

  7. Zaira,

    It doesn’t get any more classic than that!

    You can’t make that stuff up.

    Love you!

    Happiest New Year wishes to you and your boys.

  8. I had to post it on my fb status…couldn’t resist. Minds well take the old year out with some digs…haha! There is no way I could have thought of that myself. Can you imagine his disappointment if he read this blog and saw how many there were just like him? LOL!

    Have a wonderful New Year with the kiddos. We are having a quiet night at home and really enjoying the time with each other and birthday cake of course!

    Love and hugs and all that mushy stuff…xoxo :)

  9. Z,

    I’ve been saving some digs – not sure what for.
    Maybe I’ve been too nice lately.
    Those Ns never change.

    We’re home tonight, too. Loving every minute of it.

    Adios 2011!

  10. My favorite one from my malignant narcissistic mother after I was raped when I was 16. I have to go to the hospital I was raped. Shaking her head, “what did you do now? Look in my purse and get the insurance card. Do you need me to come with you?”

  11. Mrs B.,

    I’m not able to find the right words to express how sorry I am. No child ever deserves that kind of treatment.


  12. Hi Jesse,

    One of my ‘favourite’ quotes from my narcissistic ex while we were married…..

    “I know how we can be happy…. It’s simple…. Why don’t you just do everything that I say and want? That way I will be happy and YOU will be happy because I am happy…”

    Lisa x

  13. Lisa,

    Thanks for writing.

    Your comment… I know his tone of voice. I can hear those same words.

    It makes me want to vomit.

    A classic… for sure.

    Bizarrely, they actually believe that is the key to everyone’s happiness!!

  14. The N updated his fb “about me” (referring to my post above).
    Here is the elevated N version: “I’m like no one you’ve ever met…or ever will!”

    He would be so disappointed to know how many are EXACTLY like him. I have said that before, but it is just so true. I have had a good row at his pics lately. Feels good. :)

  15. Z,
    I’ve never checked out my ex’s Facebook page. I have a heightened gag reflex.

  16. LOL! I do with an alternative motive…check on where my kid is (he takes him out of state on trips and doesn’t tell me anything) or collect information I may need at a later date. He is about to foreclose on the house and they will be kicking him out any time now. He has not offered any information about where he is going to move to and he has our son most of the summer. My snooping is sadly a necessity.

  17. Z,

    I completely understand. I would be a sleuthing private eye on behalf of my kids’ well-being, too.

    You have it much more difficult than I.

    I respect your bravery and your restraint.

  18. What is that, the record keeping thing? My friend would do that. She’d admit she started the fight, she’d admit she’d attacked me ignored me and pulled guilt trips. Shed admit she was out of line in criticizing my children. But then shed say “for the record I never said your son was arrogant.” and I’d say, no you said my husband was arrogant, and you said my son was “turning out just like him.” how can you say that’s not calling my son arrogant? She said “yes I said that, I said he was in danger of becoming arrogant, for the record.” because THAT is so much different than insulting my child, right?

    Another good one for your list, Jesse.
    I had gotten a new car, not a new-new car, but a new-used car and it was the nicest car I’d ever owned. It was not as nice as her Audi, but I was really happy about it. She got in the car, and said, I kid you not “what number does the dial go up to on the heated seats?” I replied “5” she said “mine goes up to 6.” I’m sitting there dumbfounded, then she tops it off with “if I couldn’t afford my Audi, I might be willing to drive something like this.” No, we were not 17, we were 30 year olds at the time!

  19. NM,

    I’m noticing how many Ns keep score. Maybe they hold the score up as proof of their magnificence? The record is tangible proof that they are everything they want the world to think they are.

    Oh… and the contradictions? Ns are masters at contradicting themselves.

    Oh… and ONE-upping. Gah!!! It’s fun to see how many seconds it takes for them to top what you’ve just said. For not being quick to make a decision, my ex could one-up faster than anyone.

  20. Amen! Yeah with the car/heated seats thing I was completely speechless! Who even sits there and THINKS “my car has one higher level of seat heat, so it must be superior” and THEN goes so far as to point that out to the person with the inferior heated seats! I ;D almost died, my jaw was literally dropped!

  21. NM,

    As one who has never owned a car with heated seats, I can’t imagine how any heat setting is inferior. I live in Montana. I’d love heated seats.

  22. I know! That was the craziest thing about the whole thing. You should definitely have heated seats in MT. They would come in very handy after skiing;) my husband drives the (now much older) car with the heated seats, and I have a very practical van, no heated seats, which he likes to point out when the temps drop down low! ;)

  23. NM,

    Life in the West! We are discussing heated seats while you are witnessing CO’s most wicked fire season.

  24. It’s that pioneer spirit! ;) we know that blizzards are right around the corner.

  25. Quote “I am OmniDon” I will let you guess his name.

  26. SF,

    I don’t have a clue…

  27. I know this is an old post, but I have to add one.

    My youngest son M just went to the orthodontist. He’s 8, and they want to put palatial expanders in now to avoid the pain of doing it when his jaw bone hardens in a couple years. I relate this information to my ex. This is the response.

    “We don’t think it’s necessary to act immediately on this one. He’s only 8 and we would like to wait a little while for more of his baby teeth to fall out naturally before we pursue any more orthodontic treatment. I’m sure if we start this at age 9 or 10 it won’t be that bad for him.”

  28. Kristin,

    You hit on another narcissistic trait. They are experts in every field whether they have the training or not. They must coach architects, accountants, lawyers, orthodontists and counselors. “Must I be the one to tell everyone else how to do their job?”

  29. Jesse

    Yeah, at this point, my EX-N is an expert on EVERYTHING. It’s actually quite refreshing…

    This way, I will never have to pay for a doctor, dentist, ortho, surgeon, teacher, tax preparer, lawyer, internet provider, car repairman, housecleaner, window washer, laundry mat….


  30. Kristin,

    Someone needs to tell them that they can resign as managers of the Universe. Their response would be, “But who will run the show if I don’t? Who could possibly do it as well?”

  31. I tell him I want a divorce, he tells me that I should be sure not to date anyone new because I would be doing it only to replace him.

    I ask him to get out of the house, and he replies that if I am not more careful to not upset him, he will leave.

  32. Chiara,

    Thanks for writing.

    It sickens me the levels they will sink to in order to get control.

    I hope you are well.

  33. We had struggled financially and were finally getting things back together. My husband became impatient and decided he needed to get a home loan for 30000 dollars for solar panels. He claimed he was upset after being busted by the electric company for altering our panel and stealing electricity. He was going teach them a lesson I quess. I explained that we needed to give it a little longer. Even the accountant for our small business explained to him we should wait a bit longer.

    When we were declined. He became very upset. Took my name off the business checking account. Withdrew virtually all support leaving my daughter and I with no means to eat or anything else. He has since given some money for my daughter but basically only pays for things that he himself would need. He managed to twist everything around and convince people around that he had to do this because I had been so irresponsible. He said he had to stop the bleeding of funds. Since then he has been out purchasing airfare for his baseball buddies I assume to build a baseball team so they of course can win. More glory for him right. He gives away substantial funds to his friends for car repairs; he even gave the bartender money to buy a truck. He is always buying steak dinners for his friends. The list goes on. If it isn’t about him or the the glorification of him he pretty much isn’t interested.

    Now I am forced to ask for everything. I have to have approval for any purchases I need to make. Even the reasonable ones are questioned.

  34. Melanie,

    I am so sorry that you and your daughter are faced with such abuse.

    I have learned that it is impossible to know what will set them off. Just when you think things are headed in the right direction, something enrages them and they retaliate by pulling the rug out from under you.

    I hope you have a confidante.

    Sending you strength.


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