Happy New Me

I’ve sort of made resolutions in the past.  Mostly because that’s what everyone seems to do.  You can’t really focus much energy on your own resolutions when you are so busy accommodating the Narcissists in your life.  By the time you finish everything on their list, take care of the kids, clean the cat box and take out the garbage, there’s not a lot of energy left for the typical resolutions like getting more exercise, keeping in touch with friends, or learning Tai Chi.

I got an email from a girlfriend this morning.  She was asking why everyone always says, “This will be the year.  2010 will be the year.”   Then she said, “The year for what?”  Why do they always say that every new year?  I told her that I think that’s the tag line for procrastinators.  We never seem to accomplish what we set out to do, so we approach each new year with the optimistic hope that we’ll do it this year.  That’s not so bad, really.  Those new beginnings are what keep us going.

At the risk of sounding Narcissistic, I’ve come up with a few personal mottos for a Happy New Me.  I’m going with the word ‘motto’ because ‘resolution’ makes me think of failed attempts, sweaty exhaustion (I’m not speaking of the sweaty kind of exhaustion that usually involves sheets) and a complete lack of brownies.  All of that is way too negative.  Besides,  mottos are suggestions.  There’s no pressure to absolutely have to do them everyday.  Here’s what I came up with.  I’d love to hear your mottos, as long as they have nothing to do with weight loss, shoulds, or having to do more for others.

  • Be funnier. Quit taking myself and everyone else so seriously.  This is going to sound weird, but I’ve noticed that when the three of us are a little cranky, one of us will start speaking with an accent.  I’m not kidding.  It’s as if it gets us out of ourselves.  We’re pretending to be other people and then we start laughing at each other, and the crabby moment passes.  Then Jenny will usually say, “Can we be done with the accents, already?”  She’ll say this with a proper English accent, too.  Think Julie Andrews in “Mary Poppins”.
  • Be kinder to myself. I spend all my energy being nice to everybody else.  I need to spend a little of that on me.  I’m going to occasionally  remind myself that I am a likable, good person, with a kind heart.  I deserve treats once in awhile, too.  Dark chocolate, good wine, excellent coffee, pedicures and chick flicks are all acceptable pleasures as long as they can be enjoyed without guilt.
  • Remember NMP. That stands for Not My Problem.  It’s not my problem that Mark has a lousy relationship with his kids.   It’s not my problem that my kids don’t want to spend time with him.  I will focus on only those things that I can change, or not change, as the case may be.

That feels pretty good, and manageable.  Now that I’ve allowed myself to be a little self-centered, I’ll end this post with a quote that my aunt sent.  I like it.

It’s amazing how much worse everything looks when you have your nose pressed up against the mirror.

I hope you feel optimistic about the New Year.  I hope you have some good things to look forward to.  I hope that some things are about you this year.  And I also hope that you remember to step away from the mirror.

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