Surviving NarcissismLife After a Narcissistic Relationship

Once again, I am sitting at my purple dining room table, coffee in hand, writing away, and I kicked the cat.  (Yes, I have a purple dining room table, but to be fair, we don’t dine at it, and it’s piled high with books, papers, my kids’ artwork, my computer, a couple pens, coffee and wine stains and a cute little lamp with a shade that has beads coming off of it.  I don’t know why, but I love that lamp shade.  It’s one part Eartha Kitt, one part Diana Krall, and one part Pink.)

I DO NOT kick the cat on purpose.  I’ve already mentioned that we live with the world’s most patient cat.  She is also affectionate and loving.  And she likes my ankles.  I sit at the table, right leg crossed of the left, writing, answering questions, breaking up fights between kids, sipping coffee, and writing some more.  Invariably, I have to get up to fix something, get something, find something or hide from something, and when I do, I pick up my right leg.  When I lift my leg to get off the chair, my foot comes up and kicks Rita, our fat cat.  I usually catch her in the ribs.  I wince as much as she does, every time it happens.  And it happens several times a day.  Just the other day I mentioned this to Jenny and Will.  I asked them, “When do you think she’s going to figure out that this happens every time I lift my leg?”  But I like it when she sits by me.  Maybe I’m the one that needs to do something differently.

So just now, I was getting up and I had the presence of mind to look down before lifting my foot.  And there she was.  Our loyal, patient, loving, sweet fat cat was sitting by my ankles.  She just looked at me with these huge chartreuse colored eyes, and I half expected her to say, “It’s okay if you kick me in the ribs again.  I don’t really like it, but I love you enough to keep sitting next to you.  I could get out of the way first, but I’m hoping that one day you’ll remember that I’m here, and you’ll look out for me.”

And then I realized that I, too, had been the patient one.  I had been the one who was waiting to be noticed.  I kept giving chances and hoped for the best.  A girl can take a kick to the ribs only so many times.