Comments on: Narcissism Pisses Me Off

By: Lynn

Lynn — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 00:00:28 +0000

Thanks Jesse : )!

I believe you, and I am so looking forward to getting there!

All the best to you and yours . . .

By: Jesse

Jesse — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 14:29:39 +0000

Lynn,

You’ll be here one day, Lynn, on this side.

It is really good here.

I promise.

By: Lynn

Lynn — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 13:11:34 +0000

This post gives me hope. Thanks Jesse and others for your wisdom!

By: Jesse

Jesse — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 19:37:52 +0000

Zaira,

Thank you for this comment.

Your comments and experiences add so much.

One day, I hope to deliver a hug in person. ;)

By: Zaira

Zaira — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 18:59:45 +0000

Thank you both for supporting a narcissistic-free future. I was looking for more material recently and found a site that was adamantly against leaving the narcissist (and divorce) and offered a fool-proof plan to work it out. It stated that they achieved success working together through their issues. My shock reaction was that he either is not truely narcissistic or she is extremely co-dependent.

I found immediate calm and a much more manageable life instantly without a narcissist. Even through his attempts to reconcile, it was so obvious that his change in behavior was not sustainable or natural. Responses to my discussions were often in scripted sentence form. Awkward. Rigid.

Of course, if anyone can achieve a positive, healthy marriage for both partners, I applaud it. In my experience, it was not possible. I do realize that there are different degrees of this disorder and that my ex is of the more severe. But I must attest that my life is better now. I am healthier and see a brighter future ahead of me. This is a great outlet for me (so much food for thought!) and I hope that all I have posted here helps another, even if they choose to stay.

By: Jesse

Jesse — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 18:08:24 +0000

Linda,

Thanks for commenting.

You are right. I have my plate full with writing about the male narcissist.

That’s what we hope to do here – shed light on the possibility of a good future without a narcissist.

By: Linda Esposito (@TalkTherapyBiz)

Linda Esposito (@TalkTherapyBiz) — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 16:14:41 +0000

This is such a wonderful resource, Jesse. You write with such eloquence and honesty. Yes, there are women narcissists out there–but why traverse that niche when you have so much fuel for the narcissistic fire right here.

I think people relate to your situation because they would love to leave….people change when ready. Sadly, the majority of the narcissists change when “externally motivated.”

*Sigh*

Breathing and smiling for the ones that get away:).

By: Chris Guillebeau

Chris Guillebeau — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:51:32 +0000

Hey Jesse,

Thanks for the props and for sharing your experience so heartfelt and personal. That’s a key right there!

all best,

P.S. I have the world’s most IMpatient cat – she is quite the narcissist herself; I should send her over here to learn.

By: phyllis

phyllis — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 02:22:06 +0000

Thank you for your beautiful words. I could hardly wait to get home to read your blog. Even though you cannot fix anything for me — you are really helping me to fix it for me. It being my sadness, confusion and uncertainty . I am getting stronger day by day. And you are most definitely a real part of my healing. Thank you from all of us. We do appreciate your sharing. I’m sure it must be hard for you sometimes. I cannot think of adequate words to thank you.

By: Pat

Pat — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:06:19 +0000

Jesse, for anyone who pauses to notice, your life is a huge key for so many, even those of us who are not in a relationship with a narcissist. You have such insights. Beyond that, you’re willing to share them. And your gift with words makes the key you’re offering easier to touch and grasp. Guillebeau is right: we all ultimately have to unlock our own cages. The key is the thing. In another blog I’ve been following, the author speaks of problem solving as “addressing the gap.” In that blog, the gap could be viewed as Guillebeau’s cage; the method of addressing it would be the key. I love the cage-key metaphor. Here’s to key dropping everywhere!