Comments on: It Is What It Is http://survivingnarcissism.com/2010/04/30/it-is-what-it-is/ by Jesse Blayne Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:31:38 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Jesse http://survivingnarcissism.com/2010/04/30/it-is-what-it-is/comment-page-1/#comment-820 Jesse Sat, 08 May 2010 14:08:39 +0000 http://survivingnarcissism.com/?p=2072#comment-820 Phyllis, I changed names and deleted specific info to your location. Thank you, so much, for sharing with us. It helps to further illustrate just how life is with a narcissist. Phyllis,

I changed names and deleted specific info to your location.

Thank you, so much, for sharing with us. It helps to further illustrate just how life is with a narcissist.

]]> By: Phyllis http://survivingnarcissism.com/2010/04/30/it-is-what-it-is/comment-page-1/#comment-818 Phyllis Sat, 08 May 2010 13:49:37 +0000 http://survivingnarcissism.com/?p=2072#comment-818 Yes, you can put anything at all that I write to you on the blog. I am about 100% sure that no one that I know would ever read it -- but even if they did, that is ok. Some "secrets" are better not hidden. Since I have read a little bit about "The People of the Lie", I have also read some of Lisa E Scott's comments about narcissism. They are very helpful to me. And I only found that because you had "googled" narcissism and evil. Narcissism is indeed scary, but far worse if children are involved. It is bad enough for an adult. It is one thing to say "absolutely no contact" ... but what about children? I sure wish that I knew the answer. And of course there are all kinds of laws involved, too. I mean laws about visitation. So confusing. I hope counseling goes well. Yes, you can put anything at all that I write to you on the blog. I am about 100% sure that no one that I know would ever read it — but even if they did, that is ok. Some “secrets” are better not hidden.

Since I have read a little bit about “The People of the Lie”, I have also read some of Lisa E Scott’s comments about narcissism. They are very helpful to me. And I only found that because you had “googled” narcissism and evil. Narcissism is indeed scary, but far worse if children are involved. It is bad enough for an adult. It is one thing to say “absolutely no contact” … but what about children? I sure wish that I knew the answer. And of course there are all kinds of laws involved, too. I mean laws about visitation. So confusing.

I hope counseling goes well.

]]> By: Jesse http://survivingnarcissism.com/2010/04/30/it-is-what-it-is/comment-page-1/#comment-819 Jesse Sat, 08 May 2010 13:39:41 +0000 http://survivingnarcissism.com/?p=2072#comment-819 Several times I've heard off-handed comments from Mark's few friends that they often feel that he only calls when he needs something. .......... That comment above really is from Phyllis. I wanted to figure out how to delete my pic, but I really ought to be packing right now. Pretend the pic is a pleasing shot of Phyllis, sipping a milk shake, with her leg up, recuperating from surgery. She's smiling because there will be little or no pain. Several times I’ve heard off-handed comments from Mark’s few friends that they often feel that he only calls when he needs something.

……….

That comment above really is from Phyllis. I wanted to figure out how to delete my pic, but I really ought to be packing right now.

Pretend the pic is a pleasing shot of Phyllis, sipping a milk shake, with her leg up, recuperating from surgery. She’s smiling because there will be little or no pain.

]]> By: Phyllis http://survivingnarcissism.com/2010/04/30/it-is-what-it-is/comment-page-1/#comment-817 Phyllis Sat, 08 May 2010 13:37:08 +0000 http://survivingnarcissism.com/?p=2072#comment-817 I read quite a bit about narcissism and evil. It IS truly frightening. And far far far worse for children (and their moms). It can even be devastating for grown adult people, so I can only imagine what it must be like to be a child of a narcissist. My husband's best friend cut off all contact with him in May 2008. Has never spoken to him since. These 2 grown men (both the same age, born in 1941) used to do everything together. Quad riding, hunting, exploring the back roads of Arizona, building fences, outbuildings, shopping at Home Depot, and atv stores, etc. One day, Bob stopped answering his phone, to my husband, stopped returning phone calls, and locked the gate to his property. He lives on the next street over from our house. I don't know why, but I can guess. I think he probably got tired of being used and abused. Bob and his wife Betty did call me at Christmas this past year - I had sent them a Christmas card. But they didn't mention my husband. The only mention at all was, they invited me to come see them sometime when they were at their cabin. Bob told me to bypass the usual route to his cabin, "to avoid all the BAD MEMORIES". Narcissists hurt everyone eventually. Bob and my husband had a friendship of about 8 years. I only wish that you could avoid all contact with your ex-husband. My heart goes out to you and the kids. I am sure it is very very hard. Keep the wine, coffee, handy. I admire you for your many efforts to protect your children. They are indeed so lucky to have you for their mom. Love, Phyllis I read quite a bit about narcissism and evil. It IS truly frightening. And far far far worse for children (and their moms). It can even be devastating for grown adult people, so I can only imagine what it must be like to be a child of a narcissist.

My husband’s best friend cut off all contact with him in May 2008. Has never spoken to him since. These 2 grown men (both the same age, born in 1941) used to do everything together. Quad riding, hunting, exploring the back roads of Arizona, building fences, outbuildings, shopping at Home Depot, and atv stores, etc. One day, Bob stopped answering his phone, to my husband, stopped returning phone calls, and locked the gate to his property. He lives on the next street over from our house. I don’t know why, but I can guess. I think he probably got tired of being used and abused.

Bob and his wife Betty did call me at Christmas this past year – I had sent them a Christmas card. But they didn’t mention my husband. The only mention at all was, they invited me to come see them sometime when they were at their cabin. Bob told me to bypass the usual route to his cabin, “to avoid all the BAD MEMORIES”.

Narcissists hurt everyone eventually. Bob and my husband had a friendship of about 8 years.

I only wish that you could avoid all contact with your ex-husband. My heart goes out to you and the kids. I am sure it is very very hard. Keep the wine, coffee, handy. I admire you for your many efforts to protect your children. They are indeed so lucky to have you for their mom.

Love, Phyllis

]]> By: Jesse http://survivingnarcissism.com/2010/04/30/it-is-what-it-is/comment-page-1/#comment-806 Jesse Tue, 04 May 2010 14:18:40 +0000 http://survivingnarcissism.com/?p=2072#comment-806 Lucy, That's what my gut keeps telling me, too. Lucy,
That’s what my gut keeps telling me, too.

]]> By: Lucy http://survivingnarcissism.com/2010/04/30/it-is-what-it-is/comment-page-1/#comment-805 Lucy Tue, 04 May 2010 09:28:48 +0000 http://survivingnarcissism.com/?p=2072#comment-805 Walk away from the book about evil...slowly :o) Walk away from the book about evil…slowly :o)

]]> By: Jesse http://survivingnarcissism.com/2010/04/30/it-is-what-it-is/comment-page-1/#comment-779 Jesse Fri, 30 Apr 2010 23:42:29 +0000 http://survivingnarcissism.com/?p=2072#comment-779 Vacations <em>are</em> good. But... we do have to come back at some point. Vacations are good. But… we do have to come back at some point.

]]> By: Pat http://survivingnarcissism.com/2010/04/30/it-is-what-it-is/comment-page-1/#comment-778 Pat Fri, 30 Apr 2010 20:36:40 +0000 http://survivingnarcissism.com/?p=2072#comment-778 I think the Universe put that Zen Habits post there for you. Sounds like the lifesaver you needed. That and your mother. I think the Universe put that Zen Habits post there for you. Sounds like the lifesaver you needed. That and your mother.

]]> By: Donna http://survivingnarcissism.com/2010/04/30/it-is-what-it-is/comment-page-1/#comment-777 Donna Fri, 30 Apr 2010 19:53:10 +0000 http://survivingnarcissism.com/?p=2072#comment-777 That sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach is shell shock. Your nerves are fried. Vacations are good. :) That sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach is shell shock. Your nerves are fried.

Vacations are good. :)

]]> By: Jesse http://survivingnarcissism.com/2010/04/30/it-is-what-it-is/comment-page-1/#comment-775 Jesse Fri, 30 Apr 2010 19:06:08 +0000 http://survivingnarcissism.com/?p=2072#comment-775 I know that feeling... like when I see a car like his. Or I hear a song on the radio that was one of his favs. It's not a sweet longing. It's more a sickening feeling. Funny... I was just looking at the Eckhart Tolle book on my shelf the other day. Was thinking I should finish it on vacation. And then I discovered the Zen Habits post. I guess I better pack the Tolle book. I can't bring myself to read the Scott Peck book on vacation, but something tells me I can't avoid it forever. I know that feeling… like when I see a car like his. Or I hear a song on the radio that was one of his favs. It’s not a sweet longing. It’s more a sickening feeling.

Funny… I was just looking at the Eckhart Tolle book on my shelf the other day. Was thinking I should finish it on vacation. And then I discovered the Zen Habits post.

I guess I better pack the Tolle book. I can’t bring myself to read the Scott Peck book on vacation, but something tells me I can’t avoid it forever.

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