I don’t want to sit on the floor, dress Barbies or have a Barbie Day at the Beach. I don’t want to impale little squiggly worms on hooks, remove scaly, slimy fish from the same hooks, or clean fish goo out from under my fingernails. I’d rather not play Mexican Train right now. I’d rather not measure the height of a skateboard jump.
Don’t get me wrong. Some days I do enjoy those things. Most days I get into playing with Barbies or talking skateboarding – in small doses. I don’t want to all the time, but I love the interaction with my kids.
There are plenty of grown-up things I could be doing right now.
And none of them are as important as my role as parent.
The demands of my role will change dramatically. Some day, all too soon, my kids won’t turn to me first to play ‘Go Fish’, ask me to sit next to them on the couch to watch TV, or flop over my lap for a back tickle.
One of these days, Jenny will be asking her boyfriend to tickle her back.
I could barely type that last sentence.
While they are young and still making me their first choice for playmate, I’m going to be a willing participant.
There will be all the time in the world for what I think I really want to do. Right now, none of that seems very important. It would be nice to crawl under a blanket with a cup of tea and a good book. That always sounds pretty delicious when I’m sitting cross-legged on the floor, up to my shoulders in My Little Ponies.
Then I think of the days when that will be all I’ll have in front of me – endless cups of tea, stacks of good reading, and no warm, tender sweetheart to gently plead for a tickle. I know how much I’ll crave those requests to play.
Better do it now.
Tags: child of narcissist, life, love
I can so relate! There are times when I can’t face another, “mommy will you play with me” request; especially, when I’m up to my elbows in things that must get done. Then I remember (thank goodness) that my daughter will only be small once and that my attention is the best gift I can give. Thanks for the great reminder!
Andrea,
Thanks for stopping by.
I find that I like myself much more when I respond more graciously to their “mommy will you….” requests.
Jesse
My daugther is two and a bit and she is already an expert in pulling my heart strings. One “Mommy can you play ‘catch me’, please?” and I can’t refuse. In fact I was late for work this morning because she asked if I would read her a book. My challenge is gently letting her know that mommy has things that must get done, too!
Sue,
I LOVE that you were late for work so you could read to your daughter.
And I agree with you about gently showing them that mom has other things to do. It is so important to show them all our different sides – ‘mom’ may be the biggest role we play, but it isn’t the only role. They need to see the richness of our lives, the messiness, and how we try to get it to all fit together.