There was tech-decking at 2:30 a.m. There were empty cans of Coke on every table, hot chili pepper eating contests, loudest burp contests, and soggy ski pants, mittens, hats, and sweatshirts strewn from one end of the house to the other.
I couldn’t be happier.
Jenny has had a best girlfriend for a couple years now. I was concerned that when we ditched public school, we’d sacrifice her friendship. I know now, that those girls would be friends even if one family or the other moved to the other side of the country. They may not see each other every day at school, but when they do see each other or talk on the phone, they always pick up right where they leave off.
That is the mark of a true friendship – picking up where you leave off.
They have a connection through Barbies, or ponies, or rock polishing or dress-up or whatever. I don’t even know what it is, but it is very special.
I wanted that for Will. In the worst way.
I can do a lot and be many things for Will, but I don’t want to challenge him in burping contests or create massive snowboard jumps at the park, or tech deck at 2:30 a.m.
We’d seen this kid up at the ski hill. Tim is the son of a friend of a friend.
I’m not the kind of mom that orchestrates playdates and get-togethers. If my kids have a friend, and they want that friend to hang out, that’s fine. But I don’t shop for friends for my kids.
That being said, I do keep a close eye on who wants to befriend my kids. There is much power and influence in friendship.
So when we saw Tim at golf camp last summer, I wondered if Will and Tim might have stuff in common. They golfed a couple times but nothing really happened.
A couple weeks ago we saw Tim at the ski hill. Will and Tim skied by themselves all afternoon. That’s the first time Will has skied with a kid who wasn’t a cousin or a family friend.
He skied with his friend.
There were some serious apron strings snipped on that blessed day. When Jenny and I ran into the guys on the hill, I anticipated that Will would see me, and figure (out of first-born guilt with thoughtful/sensitive leanings) that he ought to ski with his mom and sis.
Instead, we got a, “Hey guys, we’ll meet you at the end of the day!” as he skied right by us.
YES!
That’s exactly what should happen.
Tim is like Will in a zillion ways. From Pleases and Thank Yous and knowing how to tease with adults, to all-encompassing fascination with tech decking, snow sports, skateboarding and golf, they are two stinky peas in a snow-covered pod.
When he was here the other night, I suggested that they might want to play a board game. He said they don’t really do board games at their house. I said, “We do a lot of that around here,” and I listed off some games. When I got to cribbage, Tim’s face lit up.
“Cribbage? You guys play cribbage? I love cribbage!”
I love this kid.
Tim spent the night. Then, Will spent the next night at Tim’s.
It’s crazy and busy and happy and smelly and messy.
And it’s just what I hoped for.
Thanks, Santa. You picked a good one.
Tags: child of narcissist, life, love, Parenting, school
How neat for Will to have clicked with Tim. Last summer was obviously just not the right time – and now is. I’m happy for Will – and for you! Apron strings start to bind after a while.
Pat,
This is what Will has been needing. It’s perfect timing.
Yay!
Susan,
I grinned hugely when I saw your, “Yay!”
Thanks for that!
I second Susan’s “YAY!!!” That is SO neat for Will. To borrow a partial quote from a completely off the wall movie…I love that kid “more than my luggage!” He deserves to be that stinky pea in that pod.
Jo,
I had to Google that: Steel Magnolias, right?
Have a wonderful Christmas with your sweet little one. :)
It was bugging you that much? But yep…that’s the one.