This morning I was getting ready to put the finishing touches on a post about boundaries. I’d been convinced that things were going well with Mark because we had put some boundaries in place that protected us from hurts, while allowing for a modicum of a relationship with Mark.
He has been quite pleasant.
In the back of my mind, I’d been wondering if it’s really about boundaries.
Everything I’ve read about narcissists would indicate that a narcissist doesn’t respect boundaries. A narcissist goes through life looking for a source. Boundaries be damned. A narcissist doesn’t respect the needs of others, therefore, it would stand to reason that a narcissist would completely ignore any boundaries that a source might set.
I wanted to be able to explain this turn of events.
Could it be that we persevered long enough, and got to a point where we could actually speak the same language?
Did I get through to him on that morning of the three-hour conversation?
Was I able to find a tiny spot in his heart that was reserved for his kids? Was I able to plead to any decency that he might have? Was it possible to make him understand that restricting visits was good for the health of his kids?
He completely backed off.
We hardly heard the mopey voice.
He didn’t make demands to see Will and Jenny.
He showered them with way too many gifts at Christmas.
And he has been pleasant with me, as well. He acknowledges me when he comes to see the kids. He asks if I’m still fighting a cold. Hell, he didn’t do that when we were married?
The other day, I went out on a limb and teased him, and he laughed.
Was this a Christmas miracle?
Do I have some insight on how to deal with a narcissist?
Is there a rosy future ahead for all of us?
Not two minutes ago, Will told me that they had to rush back from skiing yesterday. He’d gone for the day with Mark.
Will had asked his dad, “Who are you sending all the texts to?” Mark answered with a woman’s name.
“Dad, whose mittens are those, in the back of your car?”
Mark answered with the same woman’s name.
I have been saying – from the moment I discovered NPD – that if Mark had another source, we’d be off the hook.