The Anxiety of Narcissism

 

Guest Post by Zaira

A narcissist goes to the bar early on Saturday to watch a football game with his son, who is 9, and his friends.  He proceeds to drink all day, so much so, that he is passed out by 7pm and doesn’t wake up until well after his child has put himself to bed.

His son has called his mother and pleaded to come home at that instant, but she is restricted by the court and cannot pick him up from this situation unless his father agrees.  The son tried to wake his father up on numerous occasions with no response and is crying because he just wants permission to use the internet to entertain himself.  He is lonely and afraid to even turn on the television because it is against his father’s rules.

If his mother was to act in the best interest of her child, she would be faced with another contempt of court action by the father and even though he has driven home drunk with his child in the car and left him unattended in his drunken stupor, the law would uphold his complaint and hold the mother in contempt.

The mother talks to her son as long as she can, promises not to tell that he turned on the television, has him check all the doors to make sure they are locked, and says bedtime prayers with him after he tucks himself in.

At 2-something am, apparently after he has finally slept off the alcohol, the narcissist berates his ex-wife in an email accusing her of being irresponsible.

 

 

  •  The son’s anxiety of disobeying the narcissist is rooted in the beating he saw his brother incur from his father.  Terror lies in the thought that it will happen to him.
  •  The son’s anxiety of remaining in the house with the narcissist for one last night before summer visitation is over is rooted from a 4 week continuous stay with his father.
  •  The son’s anxiety of having no control over his situation lies with the courts.
  •  The mother’s anxiety of having no control over his situation lies with the courts.  The mother fought this lengthy of a visit, but she would be in contempt of court if she did not comply.
  •  The mother’s anxiety and hesitation to call the authorities lies in the fear that her son will face consequences from the narcissist as soon as no one else is there to protect him.
  •  The mother’s anxiety and hesitation to call authorities lies in the fear of retaliation.
  •  The mother’s anxiety is uncontrollable with the sound of her son’s cries.
  •  The mother’s rage will be her motivator.

 

*This is the first Guest Post from a narcissism survivor who writes of daily life on the front lines.   She bravely shares her story in an effort to help those who struggle with narcissism.

 

Thank you, Zaira.  Your words help many.

 

 

 

 

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7 comments

  1. Heart wrenching, Zaira…. Huge hugs to you & yours. The powerless feeling of being abused is so debilitating.

    Lots of love, NM

  2. I am so sorry Zaira. I wish so much that the courts would really take the cries of children and the supportive, caring parent seriously when it comes to this kind of abuse. It seems they only care once someone is seriously injured.

    I will keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers. You are doing all you can and that is all anyone can do. Bless you for all you do for your son.

  3. Thank you, NM and Lynn. I appreciate the love, kind thoughts, and prayers! It all makes us stronger, right?

  4. I’m so sorry for your son.

    Is there any way you could tape (either video or audio) this crap to be used in a court of law? And have it be done without the knowledge of your son, so he doesn’t give anything away?

    Tell him that he has a lot of people on his side who are loving him right now.

  5. Thanks, Donna! I wish I could record it, but that would be impossible without breaking the law. I do have my text messages to and from my son, which I will screen shot and save for later. I appreciate your kindness. Thank you again.

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