Spiders Versus Narcissists

I watched the desert dust go down the drain and reached for a towel.  As I stood up after wrapping my hair, I saw the spider.  It had been hiding in the folds of the towel, minding its own business.  I stepped from the shower and laughed at myself.

In the old days, I’d have let out a scream.  I learned to stifle screams at a young age.  The best deterrent for a little girl is to have her dad make fun of her when she screams at a big hairy spider.  (Those screams inside my head were louder than the ones I dared to let out.)

More recently, I would have grabbed a shoe and attacked the critter.   If Jenny had been standing there, I would have gone into action and saved the day.

I pulled the shower curtain closed, leaving the spider to crawl up the damp stall.

I got to thinking about what scares me now.

 

I’m not afraid to travel alone with two kids.

I’m not afraid of heights, but I do hang on to Will and Jenny when they venture too close to the edge.

I’m not afraid of the dark or spiders or monsters under the bed.

I’m not afraid of strangers or big cities or camping in the woods.

I’m not afraid of wrinkles or gray hairs or mirrors.  (I am making progress on getting over my fear of swim suits.)

 

I’ve lived with narcissists.

Not much scares me any more.

 

 

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8 comments

  1. <3 this. Living with a narcissist would definitely show you a whole new level of what is actually scary.

  2. Jenn,

    It’s crazy-making scary.

  3. The biggest one for me to overcome was being scared to be alone. When I realized that being alone was so much safer (and enjoyable!) than living with a narcissist, I leapt!

  4. Z,

    Yes!!! So much more enjoyable than living with a narcissist! Enough can’t be said/written about the wonders of life without them.

    For example,

    at this precise moment…

    I’m sipping my third cup of coffee, while leaving a messy kitchen to dig in the garden while allowing Jen to leave her craft projects scattered about the dining room table and Will digs up the turf in the front yard with divots while practicing his golf swing.

    NOT a SINGLE one of those things would have been permitted in my old life.

    Yay for us! Yay for a happy life free of the narcissist’s attacks and criticisms and attempts to control our every waking moment!

  5. Double thumbs up! xxx

  6. Boy, you sure know how to push buttons. :)

    Narcissists VS. Spiders

    Spiders VS. Narcisists

    Too bad you just can’t vacuum them both up!

  7. Hey everyone! Donna’s here!

    Nice to see ya, Donna. I’ve missed you around these parts.

    I’ll admit to having a fantasy about a stealth device that swoops out of the cosmos to suck up narcissists in the middle of one of their long Word Salads and dumps them in another realm.

    Your suggestion of a vacuum intrigues me. I’d find a lot of pleasure coming from the sound of them being sucked up into the tube and deposited into a canister.

    Hmmmm… fun to think about. ;)

  8. Hi Donna! Glad to see you here again!

    I have to agree that the whole vacuum idea is intriguing. However, I am not sure that I can describe the gruesome thoughts that go through my brain in relation to that without being arrested. lol!

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