You’ll see your ex-husband’s name and you’ll think, “Crap!”
You’ll take a sip of coffee and think to yourself, “Geez, this day started out so well. It’s not too hot out this morning. The coffee’s excellent. The kids are still sleeping and I have a bit of time to gather myself for the day. And then this – an email from him.”
You’ll take a deep breath and click to open the email.
Immediately, you’ll notice lots of text. You’ll scan quickly to get the general content and then you’ll finally exhale.
You’ll start at the top and begin reading each word – each accusation, snarky comment and pointed jab.
You’ll read about how you appear to be a smart person yet why would a smart person prevent there kids from seeing their dad?
You’ll read about how hard he tries to be with his kids and all you do is throw up road blocks.
You’ll read about how he is frustrated by the kids spending so much time with family and friends and how that makes him feel left out.
You’ll read through the word salad and the self-important bullshit and the demands.
You’ll want to stomp into the kitchen to make a fresh cup of coffee, but you tiptoe so as not to wake the kids.
You’ll stand at the stove, waiting for the water to come to a boil.
You’ll consider the possibility of making a cup of decaf and then decide, “To hell with that, I need caffeine.”
You’ll tell your heart that it doesn’t have to race or raise your blood pressure.
As you pour boiling water into the filter, you imagine yourself pounding on the keyboard as you type your reply. You’ll use choice expletives. You’ll call him by all the names you wish you had over all those long years. You’ll type in all capitals, “THEY DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU, not because I don’t want them to see you.”
You’ll list all the examples of how you’ve tried to facilitate this f-d up relationship. You’ll tell him you’ve been trying to make this work for the kids AND FOR HIM!
You might – ONCE AGAIN – make suggestions of what the kids like to do, that he might also enjoy doing with them.
You’ll consider telling him – ONCE AGAIN – that if his roommate wasn’t so rude to the kids, maybe they would want to do visits at his house.
You’ll start to take a sip of fresh coffee only it’s too hot.
You’ll realize that you’ve typed all those words before.
You’ll remember that those words didn’t help the situation.
You’ll remind yourself that you can’t rationally deal with an irrational person.
You’ll see that you have better things to devote your time and energy to.
You’ll tiptoe back to your computer, coffee in hand.
You’ll hit the reply button and take a deep breath.
“Please take this up with the kids. I have not prevented them from seeing you.”
You’ll hit send.
Then you will exhale.