Conversations with Kids in Cars

“Even if it was legal, even if they had the money to do it, kids could never run a business because adults just don’t respect them.  Kinda like boys don’t respect girls.  Same thing.”

I reach over to turn down the radio.  “Jen, why do you say that?”  I look at Will, “You gotta slow down a bit, it’s 25 in this neighborhood.”

“Well, I guess grownups don’t respect kids cuz they think kids can’t handle responsibilities.  They say stuff like, ‘You can’t do that, you’re still a kid.'”

“How is that like boys not respecting girls?”  I turn back to watch the traffic, “Nice job on that lane-change there, Will.  Good job remembering to signal.”

“Like if some boys are playing a hunting game on TV and a girl walks up and says, ‘Can I play?’ and the boys say, ‘No, it’s for boys.’  It’s the same thing.”

We are waiting for the light to change and Will chimes in, “Maybe adults think kids can’t handle responsibilities because they are really worried that they aren’t handling responsibilities well.  Maybe the boys worry that the girls’ll be better at the hunting game?”


How do you two come up with this stuff?

Jen looked out the window and laughed, “It’s all pretty obvious, mom.”

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  1. How do they read my mind like that? Mine reminded me the other day that he IS capable of getting himself to the bus stop without me. It’s not that I doubt him. It’s that I doubt myself. If I let him do it and prove himself responsible, will I look neglectful in court? It’s the elephant in the room even though we don’t live with the N. I am consumed with doubting my actions, my parenting, myself. I teeter between rage for giving in to his scare tactics to overwhelming feelings of defeat. It has to be normal mood swings for someone who is constantly threatened with a custody suit, right? I get so angry that he can disrupt our lives because he lost his job. The thought that my every move will be picked apart and put on the witness stand because he wants me to pay him makes my blood boil. The thought that he would be allowed to turn my child’s world upside down because he is selfish makes me sick. So, yes, darlings, it is because we doubt ourselves….

  2. Z,

    That’s another example of how the N adversely impacts the growth of the child you share. If it weren’t for having to constantly look over your shoulder, these chances for your son to build independence would be something to celebrate, not something that causes anxiety.

    Karma never comes around fast enough.

  3. Isn’t that the truth! New bomb dropped today on the way to court for non-payment of the mortgage. He rolled the house into a Chapter 7. How did he do that without me knowing? That will come to light, but I can’t get over his false ego. How someone has the audacity to file for custody when he doesn’t have a job and is soon to lose his house is mind boggling. Seriously, Karma must be a turtle….

  4. Z,

    They live in a world where they believe they are entitled to whatever they want, no matter whether what they want makes sense or not.

    When will one of those bombs drop on him? (Did I type that out loud?)

  5. Yes, you are right. I suppose it would make more sense if I had NPD.

    I often wish for a sink hole to swallow up the whole issue (on my weekend for visitation, of course). That’s like an inverted bomb. Lol

    Then I think about once when I had an anger evaluation done. (It really wasn’t for me, but I participated to make the other person feel better). The “expert” told me I could be homicidal. I told him, “No, I am just honest.” Lmao.

  6. Z,

    It wouldn’t surprise me to learn that anyone in a relationship with a narcissist could be categorized as homicidal.

    I’ve been there.

  7. Well, it wasn’t that I thought about murder. That is not ever an option for me. It was a question based around whether I would find peace in his absence. Ummmm…. YES!!!

  8. Z,

    Exactly!! I so like the way you put that.

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