Today I’m going to be a narcissist. I’m going to put myself first.
I need to get something done – for me. In order to do that, I need to put all your stuff aside.
You know I love you. Right? And all day long, while I’m making myself a priority, I’ll still be loving you. But – just for today – I need to make some progress on my* list.
I need to give as much attention to my priorities as I do yours.
I want to facilitate my agenda as much as I do yours.
I have to accommodate myself as much as I do you.
At the rate we’re going, I’ll turn you into a codependent. We wouldn’t want that. You don’t need me to help you get happy. The best thing I can do for you is get out of your way while you figure out how to make yourself happy.
Imagine how pleasant it’ll be around here if we are all making ourselves happy and getting our needs met!
This might sting a little.
It’ll be okay.
Trust me. It won’t hurt for long.
We all know I won’t be able to make it through a whole day. We know I won’t stop caring about you and your stuff and your feelings. But I’m gonna give it a good try.
Just for today, I’m going to be a narcissist.
*Hoping my kids learn how to gently make themselves a priority while still being compassionate/caring people. The only way that might happen is if I model that behavior.
Wish me luck.
Tags: a girl can dream, child of narcissist, communication, cuz I am Woman, gentle reminders, love, proactive
How did it go? Did you get it all done?
Prioritizing yourself doesn’t make you a narcissist, ya know. It makes you healthy. :)
Z,
HA! Get it all done!?
Still working on that balance thing. I like that word – prioritizing. I like it better than self-care. Prioritizing sounds less self indulgent.
Balancing seems so natural….if one is in a balancing act just like the ones at a circus. Others equate balancing to multi-tasking.
Trying to visualize my guiding the vacumn cleaner with my feet while my hands attempt to braid my daughter’s hair plus grab the cat before he hacks up a hairball onto the kitchen table. And I’ll just ignore the need of a bandaid while copious amounts of blood pulsate from my finger defying all laws of physics to project onto the rug in the other room. All this accomplished & it isn’t even time to be at my work out of home job. Or more commonly known as an out of body experience.
Look @ me, I’m multi-tasking & balancing.
I’ll go with priortizing any day. And repriortizing as I go along on that day. I need sanity. I crave sanity. Besides that, I must be an example of flexibility. Who knew I could vacumn while balancing on my head & apply a bandaid at the same time.
Just goes to show when you have that craving to yoga that night & the schedule seems tight…prioritize & take care of ourselves. The silverware can be rearranged at another time. And I’m ready to join in with my kids.
Hi Kay!
Welcome!
On the second read of your comment, I had a thought: She sounds like me. And then I had another thought: Do all survivors juggle this much because we’ve been trained to pick up all the slack left by the narcissists? Or is it just a mom thing? Food for thought, for sure.
I don’t think I would have been “allowed” to focus on self-care when I lived with him.
But, yes, self-care makes me a much nicer person. I wish there was a word to describe self-care that didn’t sound so narcissistic. ;)
Thanks for writing. Glad you are here!