If You Know a Child of a Narcissist

child of a narcissistThere’s a good chance you know a child of a narcissist.

This post is written for you if your friend or loved-one or relative is suffering – or has suffered – at the hands of a narcissist.

Your heart aches for her.  You want to make things better for him.  You want to ease their pain, even if just for a moment.

You can’t make it all go away.  You can’t love them enough to make up for what their parent couldn’t or wouldn’t do.  You can’t swoop in and be the caretaker they have always longed for.

You can acknowledge their hurts.  You can listen and believe them when they explain who their parent was/is.

Most of all, you can remind them that none of it is their fault.

And while you’re at it, make sure they understand that you feel blessed to know them, and that your life is immeasurably better because they are in it.

 

(If you are a child of a narcissist, it takes a lot of hugs and understanding to begin to fill that hole in your soul.  But, all the platitudes and motivational words in the world won’t make a difference, until you determine your own best route for feeling better.)

 

*For the younger child of a narcissist, the child who may not yet understand narcissism, be a safe landing and an example of love and acceptance.

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8 comments

  1. Feel like I need a group therapy session (or coffee date) to talk about how much of this we need to help with and how much we need to accept that we can’t fix this for them. If I stopped to think about what they’ve been through my heart would break all over again.

  2. Jesse,

    This is beautiful!! Thank you for being here!

    Hugs . . .

  3. Sandy,

    I know. I think of innocent babies coming into this world all trusting and full of love. And then I think of the babies that end up with narcissistic parents…

    That’s what this blog is for me – my group therapy session. :) It’ll have to do until we can all meet in person one day.

    Thanks for being part of the group.

  4. Lynn

    And thank YOU for being part of our little group therapy. :)

  5. I was really touched by this post. I have known children of narcissists, and all we can do is love them and be there for them, always knowing that is not enough. I know the adult children of narcissists who read your blog are grateful to you for being there for them. Love you …

  6. Pat,

    You must know that I consider you to be a charter member of our therapy group. Thanks for always being here and sharing your wisdom.

    Love you. :)

  7. Pat is right about the adult children of narcissists who read your blog. Thank you so much!

  8. Jul,

    Thank you so much for being here!

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