Surviving Narcissismby Jesse Blayne

As I was sitting down to write a new post, I discovered this article by Lisa E. Scott on her site,  vainencounters.com:

The “Crazy-Making” Behavior of a Narcissist.

I identified with everything in Lisa’s article.  She also mentions the term, gaslight.  I had to Google some more.  I had heard the term, but never paid attention.  I didn’t know it applied to me.

I found this article by Robin Stern, Ph.D.:

What is Gaslighting?

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I had today’s post composed in my head before I had discovered the gaslighting stuff.  I even had the appropriate pictures selected.  I was ready to hit publish.  The post was about how I’m tempted to believe that Mark is changing.  I was going to write that I’ve been thinking I really managed to get through to him.  I was even wondering if Narcissists are capable of seeing who and what they are, and that their behaviors have a detrimental effect on their families.

You’d think I’d know better by now.

Last night he came over to discuss Christmas gift ideas with the kids.

He left and Jenny broke into tears.

I was present for all the conversations.  I heard the veiled put downs, and the not-so-subtle dismissals of the dolls Jenny wants, and the ski pants Will wants.  I heard his jovial-sounding sarcastic jabs.  In his sing-song voice he said, “Well Honey Bear, I thought you wanted a baby doll carriage.  You mean you still like Barbies, too?  You still like babies and Barbies?”

“So Will, do you think these ski pants would be cool enough for you?”

These are pokes and prods.  These are smarmy little attempts at sounding like an interested dad, but really they show how little he knows them, and how little he cares.

This morning’s discovery of gaslighting was another whisper from the Universe.  This time she said, “Hon, don’t be fooled.  Don’t believe, for one second, that a Narcissist is capable of changing. It will never be about the kids. It will always be about him.  Check out this post on gaslighting.  It applies to you, Sweetie, and your kids, too.”

At least she’s still whispering. I half expect her to come at me next time with a 2 x 4.