I brought a fresh cup of coffee to my 8:30 counseling session with my blog today. Seems life continues to hand me more fodder for ‘Surviving Narcissism’. This is where I get to use expressions like, “The proof is in the pudding”, “It’s time to take the gloves off”, and (hopefully), “He never knew what hit him.” Continue reading →
Control
12
Apr 10
As The Narcissist’s World Turns
Dammit. I don’t really want to write about this. I so want to be done with all of this. It is more of what I’ve already written. It is more of what others have already written on the subject of narcissism. But I have made a commitment to myself, and ultimately, to anyone who takes the time to read this blog - that person who, in the middle of the night, when sleep won’t come, desperately searches the internet in hopes of finding answers. This is for those who still cling to the possibility that things could work out, that hope and goodness will prevail. Continue reading →
13
Feb 10
Narcissism Pisses Me Off
I went skiing with Jenny and Will It snowed all day, and it wasn’t too cold. We all skied like we could be Olympic contenders. Okay, that’s a stretch. But Will could be a contender. I’m proud of both of them. We laughed, inhaled fresh mountain air, and got that really good tired. Then we came home and made killer fajitas, sat by the fire and watched awesome athletes compete on T.V. It was a stellar day. Why am I so agitated? Continue reading →
11
Feb 10
Come And Tell Me Why Yer Leavin’ Me
The first time I set foot in our little house, I got teary. Granted, I wasn’t very emotionally stable at the time. I had decided to leave my husband. I had been living at my mom’s for a couple months. I had to get my kids settled, and the weight of the transition was heavy on me. The realtor unlocked the maroon door, we set foot in the open living room/dining room area, I took one look at the wood stove, glanced at the dark red walls in the kitchen, and I knew it would be our home. Continue reading →
7
Feb 10
The Proper Care and Feeding of Your Narcissist
Eight years ago on Super Bowl Sunday, I was two months pregnant with Jenny, and I had round-the-clock morning sickness. To this day, I tell Jenny that she was worth every trip to the bathroom. One of my favorite pictures is a shot of me, looking awful from the morning all day sickness, holding a gallon-sized container of Atomic Fireballs. There’s something about the hot spicy jawbreakers that kept the sickness at bay. They were an absolute lifesaver. I had an Atomic Fireball in my mouth for 7 months. Poor Will was going on four years old. He got used to me hanging out in the bathroom. In fact, after Jenny was born, I was doing something, let out a cough, and I heard Will say, “Mommy, are you throwing up again?” Anyway, we had been invited to a Super Bowl Party. I was sitting in a chair, trying to summon up the strength to put on my shoes. I did not want to go to the party, but I didn’t want to disappoint Mark and Will. I looked at Mark and said, “I’m so sorry, but I just can’t go. I feel like all I’ve been doing is trying to simply exist.” He looked at me, let out a sigh of frustration and said, “Well, that is all you’ve been doing.” Continue reading →
14
Jan 10
The Insidiousness of Narcissism
I’m tired tonight. I’m that kind of tired where I tell myself, “It’s okay if you go to bed without brushing your teeth. No one will know. You never do that.” Except — I remember telling myself that one night last week, too. Mark was here for a visit this afternoon. It drains the energy out of all three of us. After he leaves, we snip at each other. We lose patience with each other. We all know that it happens, and yet we have to remind ourselves to relax. Continue reading →
11
Jan 10
Noxious Narcissism
The other day Will and I were riding home from the ski hill with grandpa. The subject of “Blooming where you’re planted” came up. I don’t think I’d find many people to disagree with the premise — be happy where you are planted. I asked grandpa what he thought about the fact that there might be a lot of weeds where we are planted. He responded by saying, “The best way to deal with weeds is to make sure the plant is healthy.” He is right, of course. The healthier the plant, the less chance the weeds have to take over. Continue reading →
5
Jan 10
People As Holidays
People are like holidays. Do others see you as Christmas, or more like Tax Day?
Ward Elliot Hour
