Narcissist Quotes

Jun 15

The Wake Left by the Controller

the controllerControllers aren’t always* aware that their actions leave lasting scars on those they are controlling.  The controller is so focused on his desperate attempts at micromanaging his universe that he can’t see the destruction left in his wake.


The Controlled Wife

It’s a wonder she hasn’t been scooped up by Hollywood.  Her efforts at applying makeup are Oscar-worthy.  Because her husband appears to find joy in criticizing her appearance, her skillful makeup application has become an attempt at defending herself from further jabs.  But, trying to please a husband who cannot be pleased is an exercise in futility.

Perhaps more importantly, her artistic way with cosmetics gives her a measure of control over her own existence.  In this way, she has an area of her life that is free from his manipulations.  It’s behind the safety of the locked bathroom door that she is finally able to breathe.  She’s gotten fast with the application, so as to spare herself from his complaints about the amount of time she spends in the bathroom.  The downfall of her obsession with cosmetics is that further anxiety is created by her need to hide any purchases from the controller. Continue reading →

Sep 13

The Kindness of a Narcissistic Dad

“I know…  you think waders would make fishing that much better, but we’ve both heard the stories of them filling with water.  I don’t want you to end up bobbing down the river with your head under water.  You need to do some research.  Let’s learn a bit more and figure out which waders to stay away from.  You can make that part of school today.”


“So mom, here’s a guy who says that he can walk in the river better when he takes in a little water.  He says it makes it easier to maneuver.”

“Nice.  And how many years has he been fishing?  Hey, did you get the other stuff on your list done before Googling fishing waders?”

“Mo…  I’m done with the other stuff.  Here’s a guy who has a pair that has drainage holes and some draw strings around the neck and waist.” Continue reading →

Apr 12

Narcissism – The Crux of the Matter

Me:  “He’s demonstrated that he is more than willing to put in the time.  When other kids his age beg to play Xbox, he searches the internet for tips on golf swings.  Clearly, this is one of his top three passions – it may be the thing he is most passionate about.  We’ve been told by a couple instructors that he is blessed with some natural talent.  We don’t spend money on soccer or baseball or football or guitar or karate.  I really think it’s time we get him some lessons and support him in this thing he loves.”

Him:  “My parents never did that for me.”

Feb 11

Narcissism and Kindness

Nobody can  be  kinder  than  the  narcissist  while  you react to life in his own terms.
Elizabeth Bowen

Dec 10


A couple days before Thanksgiving, I called Mark to explain that the kids weren’t ready for a visit at his house.   The first thing out of his mouth was, “What’s that about?”

I sighed and said, “The phone calls are going well.  They just aren’t up for hanging at your place yet.  When they went to dinner at the restaurant with you last week, they felt completely left out of the conversation.”

He laughed and said, “That’s ridiculous.  The whole conversation was directed at them.  It’s all about Jen and Will right now.”

I said I was sorry, but that they asked me to deliver the message that they wouldn’t be going to his house.

Then, out of habit, I said, “Happy Thanksgiving.”  I didn’t say it to be snarky, sarcastic or snide.  It’s a custom in our culture.  That’s what people say this time of year.


He answered with, “Thank you.”


Apr 10

Grasping At Straws

Dear friends,

I want to write something positive.  I want to inspire.  I want to get my head above water.  I need to regroup.  I will write once I find a porthole.

In the meantime, my mom sent me something that is particularly appropriate.  I hope you laugh.  We can always make some room for a chuckle.

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa.  ‘The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Continue reading →

Feb 10

The Proper Care and Feeding of Your Narcissist

Eight years ago on Super Bowl Sunday, I was two months pregnant with Jenny.  I had round-the-clock morning sickness.  To this day, I tell Jenny that she was worth every trip to the bathroom.

One of my favorite pictures is a shot of me, looking awful from the morning all-day sickness, holding a gallon-sized container of Atomic Fireballs.  There’s something about the hot spicy jawbreakers that kept the sickness at bay.  They were an absolute lifesaver.  I had an Atomic Fireball in my mouth for 7 months.

Poor Will was going on four years old.  He got used to me hanging out in the bathroom.  In fact, after Jenny was born, I was doing something, let out a cough, and I heard Will say, “Mommy, are you throwing up again?”

Anyway, we had been invited to a Super Bowl Party.  I was sitting in a chair, trying to summon up the strength to put on my shoes.  I did not want to go to the party, but I didn’t want to disappoint Mark and Will.  I looked at Mark and said, “I’m so sorry, but I just can’t go.  I feel like all I’ve been doing is trying to simply exist.”  He looked at me, let out a sigh of frustration and said, “Well, that is all you’ve been doing.”

__________ Continue reading →

Jan 10

People As Holidays

People are  like holidays.  Do  others see  you as  Christmas, or more  like Tax Day?
Ward Elliot Hour

Dec 09

Narcissist Quotes


You cannot make this stuff up.

Only Survivors know how true these quotes are.


Thank you for sharing!



  • “I got myself a new pair of running shoes.  Here — you can have my old ones.”
  • After telling him that I had made an appointment with an Ob/Gyn to discover if I may have fibroids or something more serious, he chimes in with, “Can’t they check your knees while they’re at it?”
  • Continue reading →