I woke to the sound of our cat crunching on her breakfast. We buy her the good stuff. I’m sure that’s why she’s so nice to us. Then I heard her claws click across the hardwoods as she made her way down the hall and across my bedroom. I heard that pause right before she jumped on my bed. She snuggled in for a morning nap after filling her belly. My bed sets beside a sliding glass door that looks out on the Poplar in the back yard. Just as the cat closed her eyes, I saw a Robin land on the shed roof next to the Poplar. The Robin was probably a teenager. It didn’t have the downy fluff of a new bird, and it didn’t have the red breast of a young adult. It had the speckles of an adolescent Robin that’s just learning to fly. Continue reading →
Posts Tagged: all about me
27
May 10
Beauty Through the Act of Loving
Yesterday’s post was about beauty and insecurity and denying who I am. It was a difficult post to write. I’m not even sure where it came from. Getting that necklace in the mail was akin to jamming a stick of dynamite in a dam that I didn’t even know existed. Feelings, emotions and tears started flowing, and they weren’t going to stop. Apparently, they haven’t stopped yet. I’m not done with the topic, and I’m convinced that this flood is sending me further down the path that I’m supposed to be on. The tidal wave of emotions is pushing me faster, and I’m not afraid. In fact, I can’t wait to see how far it takes me. This is another exercise in authenticity and speaking truth. Both of those expressions are over-used. But if we set out in search of those things, with integrity, the pursuit of authenticity and truth gets us closer to who we are meant to be. Continue reading →
8
May 10
homekeeping 4
I still have to pack, but my toes are painted, fake tan is applied, kids’ hair is cut, the single plant that we do have is watered, and the fridge is empty. Continue reading →
6
May 10
Trail Guide
“I’m afraid that whatever I write will make this worse.” That was the start of Jenny’s assignment today. Yesterday afternoon, the counselor called to set up an appointment for a Friday session with Mark and the kids. She asked that we agree to have Mark pick the kids up and take them to the appointment. Continue reading →
5
May 10
Hiking in Narcissism Country
It’s a bad idea to walk through rattlesnake habitat in flip flops. It isn’t advisable to hike through grizzly territory with bacon tucked in your back pocket. Children should never be left unattended in mountain lion country. Continue reading →
4
May 10
Update on the Counseling Process
We haven’t heard a word from Mark.
The kids and I talked over the weekend and came up with a proposal. We wanted to suggest a visitation schedule that we could live with. Mark has indicated that he would like to see them more frequently. The kids say, “Absolutely Not.” We think we’ve come up with something to appease Mark. We hope that he will see that a few visits are better than nothing at all. Continue reading →
27
Apr 10
Being Heard
It feels like complete acceptance, total respect, absolute acknowledgment and warmth all wrapped into one big bear hug. It’s not the first time I’ve been heard. I have amazing family and friends who have supported me and believed me about NPD and it’s effects on my family. Even so, there was always a glimmer of doubt that perhaps I had been clinging so desperately to the belief that my ex was a narcissist, in a vain attempt at making sense of a messed up marriage. Continue reading →
21
Apr 10
Humpty Dumpty and Jack
I brought a fresh cup of coffee to my 8:30 counseling session with my blog today. Seems life continues to hand me more fodder for ‘Surviving Narcissism’. This is where I get to use expressions like, “The proof is in the pudding”, “It’s time to take the gloves off”, and (hopefully), “He never knew what hit him.” Continue reading →
12
Apr 10
As The Narcissist’s World Turns
Dammit. I don’t really want to write about this. I so want to be done with all of this. It is more of what I’ve already written. It is more of what others have already written on the subject of narcissism. But I have made a commitment to myself, and ultimately, to anyone who takes the time to read this blog - that person who, in the middle of the night, when sleep won’t come, desperately searches the internet in hopes of finding answers. This is for those who still cling to the possibility that things could work out, that hope and goodness will prevail. Continue reading →
2
Apr 10
Mexican Salad and ‘The Good Witch’
What is worse - having a narcissistic father that fights for custody and makes the kids’ lives miserable on a daily basis, or having a narcissistic father who wants nothing to do with his children, if they won’t do things his way? I think Will and Jenny have it better. While they will certainly be hurt by the fact that their dad can so easily walk away, they won’t have to deal with the day-to-day dismissals of who they are. They won’t have Mark belittling them or using them as extensions of himself. Continue reading →
