Posts Tagged: divorce


13
May 13

My Elevator Pitch

 

I’m on my way to a dentist appointment.  I’m wearing a cotton skirt, sandals, a faded denim blouse and a smile.  I can’t remember the last time I wore nylons or had a manicure.  I’m thinking about how much more garden I have to turn up before we get to start planting. I make a mental note to stop at the hardware store after the dentist.  I’ll get washers to fix the hose, check out the bedding plants and grab a bag of briquettes.  It’s warm enough for burgers on the grill tonight.  The sun tea should be ready in time for dinner.

The elevator doors close and a woman in a tailored business suit turns, looks me up and down and says, “So what do you do?”

“Hi.

Um.

Well…

I guide two outstanding young people through the minefield of dealing with a narcissistic parent.   I homeschool, practice living on a budget, and work from home.  I wrote a couple motivational books for those in difficult relationships, and I’m working on a novel.  I blog about narcissism to shed light on NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder).    Through stories and pictures, I show how good life can be when brave steps are taken to leave an abusive relationship.  Creativity, humor and harmony are on my list of priorities, right after my kids, reading and sleep.  I drink too much coffee and try not to take myself too seriously.

Thanks for asking.

What do you do?”

The doors opened.  As she stepped one heel out of the elevator, she looked over her shoulder and said, “Are you hiring?”

 

 

 


9
May 13

Still She Waits

A story… Continue reading →


28
Apr 13

You Can Run, But You Can’t Hide From a Narcissist

Leaving town is easy.  As you take off from the runway, you will breathe deep and relax.  You may even splurge on a cocktail for yourself and a couple of pops for the kids. You will count out loud the number of days that will happily pass without the stress of a dad visit. Continue reading →


23
Apr 13

On When to Leave

 

Have you ever stood outside waiting for the 4th of July Fireworks to start while swatting mosquitoes and listening to the bats as they whiz by your head?  The first chrysanthemum explodes and your kid says, “Mom, how will I know when it’s the grand finale?” Continue reading →


18
Apr 13

On Spring Cleaning, Fly Fishing and Hard Feelings

My idea of spring cleaning consists of blowing the dust off the stuff on the high shelf just enough to release the cobwebs that are anchored there.  When a quick puff didn’t take care of things, I reached up to pull this jar down.  It’s been on my bathroom shelf since we moved to this home. Continue reading →


2
Apr 13

How Old Do I Have To Be Again?

Guest Post by Zaira

“Mom, how old do I have to be again before I don’t have to visit dad anymore?  I have already made my decision that I want to live with you.”

“You do live with me, honey.”

“I know, but I mean all the time.  Every spring break and winter holiday and summer vacation.”

“But then you won’t see your dad.”

“Yes, but we have the memories…”

 

It doesn’t matter how much I reinforce that it is important to have a relationship with his dad.  Nor does it matter that he doesn’t complain too much out loud.  These conversations reinforce what I already know.

He is struggling inside.

Oh, how I know about that!

I know what it’s like when it’s all confused and churning inside, but on the outside it doesn’t appear that anything is wrong.  To think that I have to wait a couple more years before he has a voice for himself makes my insides knotty.

I wonder to myself, why wait?  But I know the system.  I know it has to come at a time when it is right and unfortunately, something has to happen on the outside for them to listen.  You can’t use history because they believe it will be different this time and as long as the stage lights are on, it may be.

But inside it won’t be.


25
Mar 13

On Mermaid Tails and Handy Tools

He shut off the blender and yelled from the kitchen, “Mom, do you think it’d work to put some of those leftover brownie crumbs in my milkshake?” Continue reading →


15
Mar 13

“How Can I Help You”

I was stirring the fettuccine as the door closed behind him.  I looked over and noticed she didn’t look up. She didn’t speak.  She kept her head down as she focused on her project. Continue reading →


4
Mar 13

On When to Forgive

How do we forgive our fathers, maybe in a dream?

Do we forgive our fathers for leaving us too often, or forever, when we were little?

Maybe for scaring us with unexpected rage, or making us nervous, because there never seemed to be any rage there at all.

Do we forgive our fathers for marrying, or not marrying our mothers, for divorcing, or not divorcing our mothers?

And shall we forgive them for their excesses of warmth or coldness?

Shall we forgive them for pushing or leaning, for shutting doors, for speaking through walls, or never speaking, or never being silent?

Do we forgive our fathers in our age or in theirs?  Or in their deaths, saying it to them, or not saying it?

If we forgive our fathers what is left?

 
- Thomas Builds-the-Fire 
from the movie, Smoke Signals

 

 


1
Mar 13

Help In The Night

She wanted to switch on the light, but she didn’t dare wake him.  On those sleepless nights, if the moon wasn’t too bright, she could see stars through the skylights above their bed.  Maybe one day, when she was free to pursue her own interests, she’d learn the constellations – Cassiopeia, Orion and the others.  The names made her think of possibility. Continue reading →