Jenny made these guys with scraps of fabric, old buttons and polyfill. She stitches little grins on their faces. Some have one eye, others have two. When I asked Jenny what she calls them, she said, “They are Nice Boogie Monsters.” Continue reading →
Posts Tagged: humor
1
Jul 11
On Nice Boogie Monsters and Aromatherapy
7
Jun 11
What To Do With A Crate of Lemons
Sunday evening someone left a big wooden crate of lemons on my front step. There were lemons spilling out of the crate and rolling down the steps into my front yard. Continue reading →
20
May 11
Not Your Typical Birthday Post
As I sit here sipping coffee, smelling blueberry pancakes and looking at the birthday presents my kids made and wrapped, I can’t help but think I ought to be writing an inspirational post about what it’s like to be turning 49. Gasp!
I could write about 49 lessons learned in 49 years. That might be tricky since many of those lessons I didn’t get the first, second, or even third time, so that list could get pretty redundant.
I could write about being grateful that my mom is still here to make me what I want for my birthday dinner.
I could write about the surprise of my dad remembering my birthday, inviting me to lunch and suggesting that Jen and Will come along, too.
Or, I could mention the amazing growth I’ve experienced in the last few years, from learning all I can about narcissism and how that has helped the three of us.
I could write about how blessed the three of us are with old and new friends, wonderful extended family and the folks who read this blog and contribute to our learning and healing.
But while I’m sitting here waiting for Will to serve me a second pancake, smothered in butter and a splash of real maple syrup, I have to say that I’m wondering if there’s anything to this Rapture/End-Of-Our-Days stuff, that is supposed to happen tomorrow.
I can’t get beyond thinking….
Holy Shit! If this Rapture stuff is true, I won’t have to spend the whole next year agonizing about turning 50!
Woot!
30
Apr 11
Middle-Of-The-Night Musings
Jenny can’t fall asleep unless she leaves her lamp on. (We’re working on that.) I usually wake somewhere in the night, stumble down the hall, reach over her sweet, eyelash-framed face and quietly turn off the lamp.
Last night was no different. And because I also had to pee, I mistakenly looked in the bathroom mirror.
Here’s the first thing that popped into my head:
“God. Do something with that hair.”
Then it was, “Can’t you find some better looking pajamas?”
Followed quickly by, “When are you gonna buy some of those whitening strips? Everyone else is walking around with luminescent teeth. What’s your problem?”
I turned off the light, crawled back in bed, and after letting out a long sigh, I thought…
“Give It A Rest!
Let this woman be.
Can’t you see she’s trying?
It’s the middle of the night! Can you let up on her for one minute? Why do you always have to find the negative? How about saying something kind, for a change?”
And then my brain took a turn in a completely new direction.
This is where it went…
- Stop those mean thoughts. Right now.
- Find something you like about yourself, and – at the risk of being narcissistic – think on that for awhile.
- If that doesn’t work, treat yourself the way you treat the kids – except for the way you treated Jen the other day when you yelled at her out of anger and frustration at yourself, because you were wallowing in feeling pudgy and ugly, and exhausted from dragging yourself up the last year in this decade of the 40s.
- Sink back into those pillows, get some sleep for this body that could be worse, and greet the morning without the usual angst and toxicity that follows that first cup of coffee.
- Go outside and breathe some fresh air.
- Go for a walk.
- Smile at yourself.
- Then get in the car and get some of those whitening strips and some Monster Spray for the Lady With The Mean Voice.
Question: Are survivors of narcissistic relationships more critical of themselves than the average hyper-critical, magazine-reading, teeth-whitening-strip-using, hair-obsessed, muffin-top-fighting, but still lovable, kindhearted woman? Or are we all this mean to ourselves?
25
Apr 11
I Hate Holidays
As I walked through Target looking for something to get the kids for Easter, I passed the poofy, over-the-top Easter Dresses. I remember getting a couple Easter Dresses for Jenny. Continue reading →
20
Apr 11
It’s On Me
Gawd!
I’m doing it again.
I’m complaining…
about the weather;
about Mark;
about Kevlar Man;
about my hair;
about this little town I live in;
about my to-do list;
about the weather. (I meant to type that a second time.)
I’m wallowing in the deep, muddy grooves of my fallback position – that of the negative, the pessimistic, the gloomy and the down.
Quick! Somebody stuff a sock in my mouth.
Her gentle, sweet spirit, carried on the wings of butterflies – even in the depths of this season pretending to be Spring – sent this tweet:
How are you making your day fabulous today?
Yes! She’s right! It’s my job to make my day fabulous.
It’s not Mother Nature’s job.
It’s not Mark’s job. ha… ha…
It’s not Will’s job or Jen’s job.
It’s not Kevlar Man’s job.
It’s on ME to make my day fabulous.
I started with a little half and half and a pinch of sugar in the coffee I usually drink black to avoid extra calories. Muffin-top be damned!
Then I answered some of the questions on Will’s worksheet – for him – to spread the fabulousness to him.
I sent Jenny outside with her roller blades and a dusting of the fabulous sprinkles.
I cranked the music on Pandora.
I called to offer to watch a friend’s cat while she heads out of town. (Yes, offering help is a way to make my day fabulous.)
I opted to make the kids what they want for lunch, instead of what I feel like making.
And now, to work on my book.
It’s on me to make this day the way it can be - fabulous.
p.s. Yes, I’ll be wearing my favorite sweater, too.
10
Apr 11
Lessons From the Road
I haven’t been in a hurry to get back to this place. My brain still feels like it’s coming off of a shot of novacaine. Continue reading →
30
Mar 11
It’s My Vacation and I’ll Cry If I Want To
I took my mess with me on vacation. You see, I am my Mess.
I bought Allison Nazarian’s book. I hoped to read it on vacation, from cover to cover. I enjoyed the first three pages between cocktails, horseshoes, walking, badminton, washing dishes generated from fabulously cooked meals, riding bikes, driving around to see all there was to see, putting band aids on blisters, making more cocktails and playing that game where you throw the golf balls on the strings at the frame made out of pvc pipes. Continue reading →
7
Mar 11
Keep Your Tips Up – Twelve Life Lessons Learned on the Ski Hill
It’s still snowing on top of eight fresh inches of dusty powder. The only sounds are from the yips of elated skiers and boarders, or the carving of their boards as they pass by. I’ve got all my layers on and my face is covered. Will is in a class. Jenny is appropriately bundled and capable enough to cruise behind me without my having to frequently check over my shoulder to see if she needs an assist. Continue reading →
3
Mar 11
Playing the Part of the Stand-In
This morning’s Twitter stream included a tweet from @AlisaBowman:
Today’s Mantra: I am the star of my own life. I play a supporting role in the lives of others.
Her tweet was the cold shower I needed this morning. It was the wake-up call that I’ve been ignoring, or another 2×4 to the side of my head.
After reading Bowman’s tweet, I gave serious thought to my relationship history. I thought of the role I play in my own life, and in the lives of those closest to me. I have mastered the role of the supporting actress in my romantic relationships. The minute I fall in love, I willingly assume the role of CEO of Support.
If he needs me to bolster his confidence, remind him of his talents, say the right words in the middle of the night to allay his fears, clear his calendar for those important seminars, provide timely servicing to help deal with his stress, shine his shoes or gas up the car, I am the girl.
Meanwhile, I take a quick glance back at my life only to see that the lead role is left vacant. I occasionally make an appearance as stand-in, but I haven’t been starring in my own life.
There was an actress in that role at one point. I knew her several years ago. I’ve seen glimpses of her recently, but she’s yet to completely inhabit the role of lead actress in her own motion picture. She acts the part of mom real well. She’s all-consumed by that role, but she hasn’t fleshed out the rest of her character.
When I read Bowman’s tweet I realized that I’ve been so busy supporting others, I forgot to be the lead in my own life.
I want my shoes shined, and my passions encouraged, and my fears allayed, and my tank filled. I want to know what it’s like to support myself, as much as I’ve supported others. I want to know what it’s like to get top billing. I want to roll out the red carpet for myself, for a change.
If this has to be a one-woman show, then so be it.
**Bowman’s site is Project Happily Ever After, a treasure-trove of proven ideas for helping troubled marriages.
