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Posts Tagged: survive
16
May 13
In Good Company
Over chocolate milk, Rice Krispies and coffee we had a venting session about yesterday’s dad visit. It used to be that our rants were punctuated with tears and “How long do we have to do these visits?” Now the rants are filled with laughs, OMGs, “Can you believe hims?” and “How long do we have to do these visits?” Continue reading →
19
Mar 13
On Resiliency
Last night, no amount of bathroom humor would tease her out of her funk. She plotted a daughter’s revenge – cryptic drawings on paper that would then be tossed in the wood stove.
I asked if she wanted to have a slumber party in my bed. “I’ll tickle your back. You can tell me anything or nothing at all.”
She brushed her teeth. I braided her hair. She pushed the cat aside and crawled in my bed and said, “I’m sick of all of this.”
___________
Today she discovered how to make different sizes of paper frogs. She colored them brightly and called them Baby and Mommy and one of them was even Dad. Right now she’s beating her brother at a dice game, and when a favorite song comes on Pandora, she dances by me twirling and whirling and smiling and not thinking about anything but good stuff.
That is the resiliency of kids.
That is the roller coaster of life.
12
Mar 13
On Leaving the High Road
I did it. I left the high road yesterday. I didn’t just step a toe onto the shoulder of the road. No, I hit the gas, cranked the wheel and jumped the borough pit. I raced down the hill away from that high road as fast as I could go. Continue reading →
5
Feb 13
When to Stay Away
The thing is, most of the time I know when to stay away. Continue reading →
24
Jan 13
Survivor Support
In Survivor Support, I will call your attention to a new commenter who reaches out to us for encouragement or guidance or a compassionate ear.
We have created a most healthy group of wise individuals who send positive ripples out whenever needed.
It’s time to send more ripples.
Survivors and Thrivers, please see Kristin’s comment on this post.
Thanks,
Jesse
23
Jan 13
Letter of Resignation
Dear Narcissist,
We resign as caretakers.
We will no longer protect you, make excuses for your behavior or come to your defense. We will not sweep your abuses under the rug. We will not pretend like your treatment is acceptable.
We will not allow you to manipulate us or control us.
You will not hurt us again.
We will not feel sorry for you.
I will not coach your children on what to say to you in order to keep the peace. I will point out your behaviors to make sure that the children understand that they are not to be blamed for your mistreatment.
We will not cater to you, tiptoe around you or deal with your mood swings.
We will not allow you to make us feel inferior.
We are good enough.
We will no longer see ourselves through your eyes.
We will no longer see ourselves through your eyes.
We will no longer see ourselves through your eyes.
Signed,
Jesse, Will and Jenny
*Survivors,
You may be thinking that by now we would have successfully moved on. Just yesterday I heard myself coaching Will on what not to say to his father over the phone. After almost seven years, I still fall into the trap of protecting the narcissist.
17
Jan 13
On Broken Hearts
“Well,” the Goddess said,“your heart didn’t heal straight the last time it broke.
So we’ll break it again and reset it so it heals straight this time.” - Jane Yolen
*Maybe if we looked at it this way,
a broken heart wouldn’t seem insurmountable.
15
Jan 13
The Jigsaw Puzzle
She was too exhausted to untie the bundle. He stood next to her and excitedly pulled at the bow that was wrapped tightly around the four corners of the blanket. His hands were shaking. He fumbled a bit, but the blanket fell open to reveal the most precious gift. He gently placed the baby in her arms. They didn’t notice the green organza bag that fell out of the blanket to the floor. Continue reading →
