I am the stream. I am the stream. I am the stream.
Yeah.
Whatever.
There are a few more rapids in the stream today.
I do believe in the stream. I am the stream. But, today I needed a little help getting around a humongous boulder.
I decided to haul my butt up the hill. I haven’t been very disciplined lately. Blame it on the rain, or our social calendar, or the wind, or my complete lack of motivation. But I know that walking the hill is the best way to move past a funk.
From the bottom of the hill, I can’t see the well-worn path that I usually take to get to the top.
The path is overgrown with wildflowers, weeds, thistles, sage and grass. I can see clearly in front of me, and I can see the top of the hill where the path comes out to a clearing, but I can’t make out the route the path takes through the scrub.
I hesitate a moment in an effort to map out an approach.
Then it hits me.
As long as I can see the top, and as long as I can see where to place each footstep, I’ll make it to the top. I’ll have to step around the thistles and the flowers and through the grass, but I’ll deal with each plant when I get to it.
I don’t have to give up just because I can’t see every step along the way.
I take my time, stopping to smell an orange wildflower and sidestep the thistles. I get to the top and pause to enjoy the view of the Missouri River where it widens.
Gorgeous.
Even with a sky full of gray, ready-to-unleash clouds, the view is beautiful. This view helps me see the smallness of the issues I face. This view helps me prioritize. This view gives me the big picture.
My faster breaths seem to flush the funk out of me. My quickened pulse sends new blood to clear my mind.
I head back down before my pulse starts to slow, breathing in the smell of on-its-way rain mixed with the strong scent of sage.
I walk through more wildflowers on the way down, skirting some, so as not to trample them. Because of all the rains we’ve had, there are more flowers than we usually have this time of the year. All those flowers are a fine example of how positive can balance negative.
If we let it.
Tags: child of narcissist, divorce, humor, narcissism, narcissist behavior, narcissistic behavior, NPD, proactive
A perfect example of living in the now moment.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh………………………(just relaxing into it!)
Jesse, ya gone and did it ag’in!
This is a gorgeous piece. We really do let that stop us so often, not being able to see every step ahead of us…when the whole time as long as we keep moving forward, creating our own new steps if we must, we will get to where we want to be.
Thank you for this reminder.
Thanks. I just had the stirrings of being in the mountains again. A seriously major amount of work to get fit enough to do it right, but your post showed me that I can find the way.
What news on the tome?
Bruce
Jenny,
Tonight I find myself paralyzed by not knowing what the next steps are in my current relationship. Funny how I dug up this old post without realizing that I, too, needed the reminder.
The Universe is a wise, sneaky mistress.
Thanks for reading.
Jesse
Hi Bruce,
Thanks for asking.
I need to take some pictures on a dusty plateau. Once you read, you’ll see what I mean. ;)
If this snow ever lets up, I’ll be in business.
Lately, I have put on my big girl shoes and been stomping the thistle! I was tired of all the extra steps to go around it and honestly, it feels good. It hasn’t stuck me yet…
But I know exactly what you mean about relationships now…after…in the future. Thank you for this. Very beautifully expressed.
I’m so relating to the feeling of wanting to see the path but realizing my path is right where I am, thistles, flowers, grass it is all mine to walk through.
Thanks for writing so beautifully!
Hi Zaira,
I love the mental image of you stomping through the thistle.
Think I might try that.
;)
Hi Tami,
Welcome.
I’m glad to hear that your path has some flowers sprinkled throughout.
Thanks for visiting.