“It’s about how many times you keep coming back, working on the same lessons with the same people.”
“How many more times do you want to play the doormat? ”
“How many more times are you going to cry yourself to sleep because you don’t feel loved? ”
“How many more times are you going to deny who you are because you fear others won’t accept you?”
“Do you think these lessons can be learned by yourself?”
“Don‘t you think the lessons are learned through the relating to others?”
…
“I just see you giving lip service to all this stuff – the universe, God, karma, love, truth, authenticity. That’s great and lofty and swell and all, but when are you going to really act on this stuff you say you believe in?”
*From a conversation – Seeing My Path.
Tags: divorce, in search of self, life, proactive, survive
Thank you for giving all of us a tool to have these conversations with ourselves. It’s invaluable, insightful, and indispensable.
“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”
–Karen Kaiser
Zaira,
I’m thrilled that you are finding goodness in the book.
Love that quote!
Beautiful and SMART words from your book, Jesse! You already know I LOVE it:)
It takes courage to change, but, (to those who may be reading this blog thinking of making some BIG changes with the narcissist in your life) you will reap the benefits of your courage in the long run!
“Having courage does not mean we are unafraid. Having courage and showing courage means we face our fears. We are able to say “I have fallen, but I WILL get up.” -Maya Angelou
hugs, NM
NM,
That’s a marvelous quote, and so appropriate for this site.
I think about that change, and how it’s so easy to put it off. I had all those thoughts running through my head…
“Maybe I’ll start tomorrow.”
“Maybe it’ll get better.”
“Maybe I don’t have to do anything drastic.”
And I think of another favorite quote…
“A year from now you may wish you had started today.” -Karen Lamb
I am SO grateful I started when I did! (Easy for me to say now, I know, but it’s true.)
Thanks for the sweet words about the book. ;)
Yeah, at least with my “N” there was no more living with it! Something drastic DEFINITELY had to be done. I just hit a wall.
I am very grateful too, that I am out of this now. I’m not only happier and more confident, but I BELIEVE in myself and other people in my life now. Being in a narcissistic relationship can be so draining, you start to not trust yourself and even other friends and family who are not narcissistic. **shudder** I got to the point where everything felt like some kind of sick game. Even though I had to make an extreme shift with one person to get here, it was SO worth it! Now I feel like I know “which end is up.”
Have a great evening :)
NM,
It’s scary how one relationship with an N can cast a pretty dark shadow over every other relationship we have.
I know that **shudder**. Yikes!
Jesse,
I just finished reading your book, and it is really, really fabulous. I will enjoy rereading is several times as well to gain even more from it. I love your writing style and find the questions and quotes very insightful as well.
I have gained much comfort from the community on your blog. Thank you for providing this haven for all of us who deal with a narcissist and have lived or are living with one.
I am so grateful not to be living with my ex N spouse any longer. It took a very long time for me to reach the conclusion that I had to make major changes for my sake and for the sake of my children. I am certainly a long way from finding my way through this, but I am on the right path. That gives me hope for my children and for me.
Thank you again for writing and being here. I appreciate all those who comment too and my thoughts and prayers go out to all of you.
All the best . . .
Lynn
Lynn,
If you find you’ve gained much from this community, it is because you have given so much yourself. ;)
I’m so glad the book touched you!
Your children are blessed to have you to guide them through all this.
Take good care.