Out of curiosity, I Googled the word Opportunivore. The Urban Dictionary defines an Opportunivore as, “an individual who seeks food in any situation where no exchange of capital is needed.” I’ll take some liberties with that definition and change it to, “an individual who seeks adulation and admiration in any situation and assumes no reciprocating is needed.”
Narcissists are incredibly accomplished Opportunivores. Give them any situation, and they can make sure that it is all about them. Case in point, yesterday was the first day of school. In our little family, the tradition is to take pictures in the morning before school. Just the kids at home – no fanfare, no crowds, not in front of the school building. Mark opted to greet the kids at the school once class got out. That way he could be seen scooping up his beautiful children, and he could perform for an audience of admiring parents and teachers.
And today while I was relieving stress on the hill in front of the house, I noticed Mark and Will in Mark’s car. From my vantage I could see the car suddenly start and then stop with a lot of jerking and rocking. It turns out that Mark decided today was a good day to teach Will how to drive. Will is ten. I learned later that Will didn’t ask to drive the car. Mark made the suggestion.
I know how Mark operates. If he grants the kids special privileges, he gets rewarded with more admiration and attention. Apparently, he wasn’t getting enough attention from Will, so he grandstanded and suggested that this would be a good day for Will to learn to drive. Then, when they had completed the lesson, Mark scooped Will up for a “there’s my good boy” hug.
Do you see the contradiction there?
Mark thinks Will is old enough for his first driving lesson, but he’s not too old for a little boy hug and cuddle. Both incidents made Will visibly uncomfortable. He actually ran up the hill to me and said, “Hey Mom! Dad gave me my first driving lesson. Is that even legal?” I explained that it might be if he were a farm kid, but that the last time I checked, we were city folk.
The impromptu driving lesson is another example of how a narcissist will go to great lengths to garner the attention, admiration and adulation he has to have. Nevermind the inappropriateness of the behavior or the situation. It’s also another example of how narcissists don’t know how to interact or relate to others. They are far too busy getting their needs fed to see that their behavior is bizarre, or that their actions usually make others uncomfortable.
It’s not realistic to expect a Narcissist to enjoy your company. They never just want to hang with you without some kind of agenda. Each situation presents a new opportunity for a potential food source.
With this kind of Opportunivore, that food is attention and admiration.
Tags: all about me, child of narcissist, narcissism, narcissistic behavior, NPD
