My mom is trying to help. She loves me and her heart is in the right place. She recommended that I pick up the book by Steve Harvey called, ‘Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man’. Am I the only woman offended by this title? I’ve admitted that my goal was to be a wife and mother, but I did not agree to erase my personality. And I wouldn’t want a guy who can’t appreciate my femaleness as much as I appreciate his maleness. Why does it seem that every popular relationship book has women adapting themselves to suit a man? I just read this article about improving your relationship by not talking about it. There’s a ton of research out there about how guys don’t like to talk about feelings and relationships, so if women want a relationship, they better talk to their girlfriends about it, not their guy. How about all the research that says women need to talk about feelings and relationships? Where are the books that say that if a guy wants a relationship, he better at least try to utter something about how he feels? Forget it. Once again, we are to adapt ourselves to them. They don’t have to, shouldn’t have to and will not adapt to us. Wouldn’t it work if there was a compromise somewhere? What if I agreed to not always have to talk feelings, and he worked on once in awhile listening and not running away from anything to do with feelings?
Here’s my declaration:
1. I will not stifle who I am to get a man. I will be emotional and enjoy all the feelings that I have. I will be wholly female and revel in it.
2. I will not change what I look like to get a man. I will like the way I look (at least most days) and know that I am looking my best. Looks never last anyway.
3. I will watch football if I want to. I will golf when I want to. I will ski as fast or as slow as I want to. I will read when I want and talk on the phone when I want and watch tv when I want and cry when I want.
4. I will not make excuses for myself. I will not feel guilty for being nice to myself. I deserve it.
5. I will not take myself too seriously. I will laugh at myself daily.
I am not one of those women who goes around being angry at men. I believe that at the end of the day, most of us are trying to be the best people we know how to be. My kids will see that they are fabulous as they are. They are not defined by a relationship. They will also see that relationships are the sweetest part of life, as long as you show up in them as yourself.
I know, I know … if Steve Harvey saw this post he’d probably say, “And you wonder why you are single?”
Tags: divorce, humor, life, love, narcissism, narcissistic behavior, NPD, proactive, survive
I’m thinking we should have been suspicious when we discover a man wrote it for women, even before we read the title!
Maybe this can be your next writing project, a book for men by a woman.
Now we need a title………..How about: Be a Man by Thinking Like a Woman. Or: Get Your Head Out of your Shorts and into the Real Game!
I’m sure I can come up with several more options. :)
Here’s one more …. Be a Real Man by Thinking About Your Woman
Donna,
I love ’em all — especially the last one! Start writing!
Jess