Women are fixers. It’s part of our very nature to see if we can fix whatever may be broken. Accommodating women are serious fixers. It’s not that men aren’t capable or interested in fixing, too, but sometimes I think women have a tendency to try to fix when it can’t be fixed.
A couple nights ago I was reading a review of a new book about children of narcissists. The reviews were mostly positive, with a couple exceptions. One reviewer cited that the author gave lots of examples and case studies of the damage caused by growing up with a narcissistic parent. But this reviewer was quite perturbed that the author did not suggest any fixes. Maybe the reviewer still has a lot to learn about narcissism. Maybe the reviewer is overly-optimistic. Just about everything I’ve read says that the possibility of changing a narcissist pretty much doesn’t exist.
Every family has phrases or expressions that get handed down through the generations. One of my favorites is, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” The other, which I seem to repeat a lot is, “It takes a good leavin’ alone.” A broken relationship with a narcissist is an example of something that cannot be fixed. Remember how you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped? Narcissists don’t believe they need any help. You are wasting your time with this one. You bet it’s broke. But this cannot be fixed. There, I’ve said it again. The individual accommodating a narcissist can get in a vicious cycle trying to make right all the damage done to their relationship. It cannot be made right. It takes a good leavin’ alone.
Tags: child of narcissist, life, narcissism, narcissist behavior, narcissistic behavior, NPD, survive
