It’s a bad idea to walk through rattlesnake habitat in flip flops. It isn’t advisable to hike through grizzly territory with bacon tucked in your back pocket. Children should never be left unattended in mountain lion country.
Once, even though I knew better, I walked through a dry, stubble field in Teva Sandals. The one time I did, I came within 6 inches of a rattlesnake. I was lucky, but there’s no excuse for not being prepared, for not using my brain, for being cavalier about what could be lying in wait.
The same goes for narcissism.
I am chin deep in narcissism country. I know the game switches with each conversation. I know his attempts at manipulation. I know how he contradicts himself, sometimes within the same sentence. I know when he has set a trap. I know how charming he can be.
The least I can do is keep my wits about me. I would be foolish to ever let myself forget how the ground shifts in Narcissism Country. Hikers must always take enough provisions, and familiarize themselves with any potential wildlife threats.
Will was just looking over my shoulder as I was writing this, and he said, “Be sure and tell them they’ll need full body armor in Narcissism Country.”
You never know what might be hiding around the next bend in the trail.
Tags: all about me, child of narcissist, divorce, life, love, narcissism, narcissist behavior, narcissistic behavior, NPD, proactive, survive
I love bacon so much, I might keep it in my pocket, even in bear country, trusting that I could outrun them.
Good luck with the body armor:)
Either you run real fast or you’re good at playing dead.
Might have a suit of armor to loan you. How tall are ya?
I’ve checked into your blog before. Looking forward to spending more time there. :)
I am new to finding out what is wrong with my spouse. You are right about how they operate. Sounds more like an alien invasion, BUT when you know the signs, they are ALL there!!! I am planning an escape……. no other way ! Good luck with yours. x
Funny how you said it is like an “alien invasion”.
Just last night I was talking to my folks about some recent developments with Mark. My folks have been there through this whole process.
Each and every time we get together to discuss this mess, we find ourselves looking at each other, shaking our heads, and saying, “HUH?” Just as we were last night.
I find I have this tape running through my mind that says, “He’s not rational. He’s not rational. He’s not rational.” It is constantly playing to remind me that dealing with him is not like dealing with a ‘normal’ person.
Good luck to you. And thanks for writing.
If only I could remember this!!! I would stop getting blind sided constantly by the irrational behaviour…..
Lisa,
You’ll get there. I promise.
I am getting there!
Actually we all are…. My oldest boy 11 observed the other day – ‘Did you know Mum, that Dad thinks people should be perfect and that they never can make a mistake!’
Oh and my favourite – ‘You know Mum, I think that Dad is very short tempered. Have you noticed?’ lol
These little realisations for my boys help them so much in shifting their thinking from ‘What’s wrong with me?’ to ‘Wow, it’s not actually me!’ – and that’s wonderful…..
Lisa,
YES!! Yay for your boys. Kids get it. They know what doesn’t feel right, and they are better at not stifling those feelings.