Narcissists have no enemies. They have only Sources of Narcissistic Supply. An enemy means attention means supply. One holds sway over one’s enemy. If the narcissist has the power to provoke emotions in you, then you are still a Source of Supply to him, regardless of which emotions are provoked.
S. Vaknin
Tags: divorce, narcissism, narcissist behavior, narcissistic behavior, NPD
This entry was posted on Sunday, January 9th, 2011 at 9:59 am and is filed under Control, Quotes.
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In other words, taking the wind out of the N’s sails? Or, turned around, taking the sails out of the N’s wind. Either way, the N’s source (or object) is removed, and he has to find another avenue for gratification. It’s just another stage of development for children, and we adults help them grow through it to become civilized little beings. Too bad some adults get stuck and never grow through that. And they find themselves alienated from one after another person in their lives.
Looks like you really found the key with Mark. I thought I saw fireworks over on your side of town. (O:
Pat,
I like how you put that both ways: wind out of sails vs. sails out of N’s wind.
Yep. Those fireworks were over our house.
Once I get my voice back, we’ll chat. I still want to make you Tomato Florentine Soup with crusty bread and maybe a little wine?
Just tell me when …
OMG.
My sister has told me for years that I needed to take the sail out of the wind, but like every other thing I think I understand, I don’t really until some other emotional pieces click together for me.
I have to stop reacting to whatever is pushed at me. I’ve been an energy source for a narcissist for 17 years. Holy crap, that’s hard to realize, and yet it makes perfect sense. No wonder I’ve been so tired for so long.
Bruce,
I’m the same way… having to have a lot of pieces together before I really ‘get it’. I think we’re all that way. No? I’d always wished I could put a time frame on the process. In x amount of months, I’ll know what to do. Or… after x amount of pieces, I’ll have the answer.
When you said, “No wonder I’ve been so tired for so long,” it reminded me of a comment from my ex. We’d been living together for awhile. We didn’t have kids at this point. I had a job. It’s wasn’t anything taxing, but I’d come home from work, cook dinner, watch a little TV and fall asleep on the couch. Every night. I’d go to bed by 8:30. One day he said, I don’t remember you being so exhausted all the time. When we were first going together, you seemed so energetic.
In addition to sheer exhaustion, I was also avoiding my life, by sleeping it away.