I want to smell the rosemary. I want to remove the stopper from the ornate bottle and smell the blue liquid. I want to know what the liquid is. Does it possess magical properties for healing or soothing? Will it make my bath smell luxurious? Will the blue tincture soften my dry, cracked, tired, winter-weary skin? Will the scent bring me back to a gentler time?
Could the blue elixir elevate my mood? Could one whiff of the mystical blue potion erase sadness and create a lasting calm in a desperate mind that longs for Spring?
__________
The shape of the bottle, the color of the liquid, the sprigs of rosemary inside the liquid, and the sprig lying next to the bottle create expectation about the contents of the container. I make assumptions based on the appearance of all those things. Those assumptions are also based on how I am feeling, at the time that I first see the bottle. If I am in need of something at that moment, my mind willingly lets me believe that the liquid in this bottle will make my life better. I want to believe because I feel needy right now. I want to be saved by a liquid or a potion or a pill or a book or a person.
Hell, I might not need saving, but a little distraction would be welcomed.
The packaging distracts me. The bottle appears to be full of promise.
I check logic and reason at the door, and head down a path that will surely ease my suffering skin and tired mind. The path leads to this bottle of magical blue liquid.
__________
When I met Mark, I was dazzled by his appearance, his trappings, his reputation and the imagined promise that all my problems would be solved when I was in his presence.
I liked the packaging.
I assigned significance to his business, his car, his wardrobe, his demeanor, his preoccupation with his own looks. When I met with things that didn’t correspond with the image I had created for him, I dismissed them.
I dismissed the fact that he didn’t have friends, that his kids never saw him, that his wife was “the root of all the problems” in his marriage – as he put it. I dismissed the fact the he wasn’t interested in knowing me, but would cling to what I could do for him.
I was drunk on his appearance.
I couldn’t see the red flags clearly.
He was the Calgon that would take me away.
I let myself be deceived by the packaging.
*Reality
The blue liquid in the bottle is another of Jenny’s ‘experiments’. She found an old vinegar bottle that I was getting ready to put in the garage for the Spring Garage Sale collection.
“Mom, can I make an experiment?”
She asked if it was okay with me if she cut some sprigs from the rosemary plant that was dying in the livingroom.
She filled the bottle with water and proceeded to dunk water-soluble markers. First the water was pink, then it turned to purple. She poured out the purple marker-infused water, and started over, settling on this blue color.
She jammed some all-but-dead sprigs of rosemary in the bottle and announced that her potion was complete.
Tags: narcissism, narcissist behavior, narcissistic behavior, NPD
God! I envy your ability to write. The part where you are talking about assumptions and neediness are just GOLD!
I am not a shopaholic, but there are times that I can wander around my local grocery/hardware/clothing and everything else store looking for…… something.
I usually find (temporary) peace in the cookie aisle.
I just finished my 21 Day Consciousness Cleanse with Debbie Ford, and am feeling things deeply. Thanks for helping me see another UNconscious behavior. I will be better armed the next time I go grocery shopping.
Donna,
Oh, I bet there were so many pearls from the Debbie Ford Seminar. Care to share any?
Thanks for saying what you did about this post. If felt like a weird one. Wasn’t sure I got the point across. Guess I did with you. :)
I’m not a shopper. I’ve been finding lots of temporary solace on Twitter and Pinterest. Yikes.
Some pearls of wisdom that touched me:
* Reminded that my ego will fight to keep me where I’ve been for the past ten years, and into the next ten
* That Faith and Trust is a choice
* “When I’m connected to truth, I am connected to my greatest expression of my soul.” – Debbie Ford
* When you follow your heart, do it responsibly
* If we are willing to wait to manifest our deepest desires, instead of wanting it NOW, then we are on purpose
* Self acknowledgment is the key to self love
* Judgments are reflections of insecurities I have in life, (cuz we see the world not as it is, but as we are)
Bored yet? :)
Donna,
Wow! Thanks for sharing here.
The first one – about the ego – is disconcerting.
Love the one about connecting to truth.
Amazing about self acknowledgment as the key to self love. Gotta chew on that one a bit. Seems obvious but not easy to get there.
My fav is the last one. So damn true.
I bet it was really intense.
This post was great but, admittedly, has added a sprinkle of paranoia to my morning. I’ve been dazzled by appearances so many times in my life (and apparently the appearance does not have to be anything spectacular to dazzle me)…I can’t help but look suspiciously at the desk next to mine…”What am I not seeing?” or …”What am I seeing but not acknowledging?”
Oh Jenny,
Didn’t mean to inject any paranoia into your day.
I must, however, thank you for the laugh. It appears that I’m quite dazzled by only marginally spectacular things, as well.
For a long time it seemed – based on my track record – that anyone with a checkbook, a car, and a full set of teeth would do.