Hey you!
Hang on.
This isn’t all there is.
If it feels thick and slow and hard to breathe, that’s because it often feels that way – especially right now. That thick feeling is offset by another feeling… of lightness.
That lightness comes if you let it – if you don’t try to attach to it. Don’t cling to the lightness out of fear. Let it come and go. Trust that when the lightness leaves, it will also return.
___________
There are glimpses of understanding.
Sometimes it all makes sense.
Go out under the moon and catch your breath.
Walk by yourself in a Spring rain and get soaked. Smell your skin and the wet earth and listen to the grass grow.
You will see that it makes sense.
Let a newborn baby wrap its tender hand around your calloused finger. Feel the energy in that tiny hand.
That makes sense.
The hardness makes sense, for without it, there is no appreciation for ease.
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Show us who you are. What are you hiding from? If you won’t let us see you, how can we come to know you and love you.
Open yourself up to the possibility of being loved for who you are – flaws and all. We all have them.
Ask for a hand, because we are all here for no other reason than to support and nurture each other.
Can you let another nurture you?
You don’t have to be so tough.
Let us see you.
Let us know you.
You deserve to be loved for who you are.
__________
Hang on.
It gets sweeter.
There is joy to be found in a morning spent pulling weeds or a night spent falling asleep on the couch getting lost in a book.
There is good spaghetti yet to eat.
There are children to watch grow and hikes to take.
There are flowers to be picked and friends to be made.
There is good wine to share.
There are mountains of buttery popcorn to be devoured while sitting in a dark theater next to your best friend watching a new summer blockbuster in air conditioning when it’s 98 degrees outside.
There will be phone calls from old friends who miss you.
There will be bright spots right around the corner.
Hang on.
I’ve been thinking about them today too.
Finding it uncomfortable how the media are making death at 27 sound almost appealing, like it’s their one shot at so called fame. That dreadful word ‘fame’ that so many young people seem obsessed with.
x
Tina,
Yes. Fame may be a way to burn brightly, but often, it’s a quick way to burn out.
There are great moments in life that we experience, that make living everyday worthwhile. I feel incredibly saddened at times, because for some people they never get to a point of contentment, or a place of happy. I have had moments where I thought my experiences would suffocate me, where I couldn’t breathe, and was for a time consumed by worry and fear. In that time I knew it was hard, but I also knew it didn’t have to be permanent.
When we have hurdles to overcome and deep scars from the past one can tend to dwell in the pain. I remember it’s okay to acknowledge that pain, but it’s never good to dwell in any emotion too long. It’s even harder without the support of others, or when one feels they have to go it alone. In the end I would like to think we are all seeking peace, even if the methods we choose to engage in, are not always the best.
Our coping mechanisms are how we survive, but the goal ultimately is to have healthy coping mechanisms
With fame one tends to lose a lot of privileges. It is really sad. It is almost like society forgets at the end of the day we are simply people. People who experience the same human conditions.
I like to think those who are great singers, great writers, great actors, great artists are here for us to partake in their gift. We can experience life and emotions on a different level based on the artistry they share with us.
I remember an old article I read about Amy Winehouse. She said “I never wanted to be famous, I have a lot to work on. I am a musician, music is what I can share.”
At moments where I can’t find the words to say, a song sums it up for me perfectly. An excerpt from a book I read has a way of pulling me out of a slump. If we can remember we are all people first with afflictions, mistakes, regrets, challenges, passions, maybe we could think differently. The sad thing is for some, with the world as its lens, every move they make is often criticized, judged, questioned.
Sorry I got lengthy here, but have been so saddened by recent events.
In all the judgement going around about Amy Winehouse, I also felt compassion and sympathy for her struggles. Kira’s comment really had me reflecting and paralleling my challenges this morning. What a nice grounded way to start the week, as I had not slowed down long enough this weekend to ‘feel’. Thank you, Kira, for sharing from your heart and keeping me in touch with my humanity.
Kira,
You eloquently put into words the fact that we are all human on the inside. No matter what we portray to the rest of the world, at the end of the day we are a collection of hurts, successes, emotions and thoughts.
We all need the same things.
Zaira thank you for your kind words. I am very glad my words resonated with you. It is all about compassion and understanding, not just in regards to our personal selves, but to others around us. When we allow ourselves to “feel” that creates the connection. The ability to express humanity is what it’s all about. In society I feel that gets lost a lot. The focus gets misguided on other things.
There is a song by Amy W. entitled Wake Up Alone, it is undeniably haunting & beautiful. It sums up perfectly the conflict she was in. Her music was her own personal storytelling, & although her experiences were not my own, i could relate to the emotion. I could relate to seeking solace, my experience with going through pain, and ultimately seeking stable footing. I am thankful I am able to be touched by words & experiences everyday. It is my greatest teacher.
Jesse you said it perfectly. We are a collection of many emotions & experiences. My hope is that we can learn to overcome & not be consumed by them. Life is definitely a balancing act. We collide with good & bad experiences everyday. The bad has a way of seeking to hold us under. The good reminds us there is so much to be thankful for. It is realistic that for some people they never reach their point of happy. It doesn’t mean they were not seeking & did not want it.
Jesse,
This is again such a beautiful post–to find beauty in the simple pleasures of life– to hang on no matter what the circumstances.
As I go through life, I am finding more and more that I see joy intermixed in the pain–like how bright the moon is or how I can breathe fully and freely under the big blue sky of The Plains.
Thank you for writing–I enjoy your blog very much.
Be well . . .
Lynn,
I hope our kids come to understand the joy in the simple. If they can do that, they’ll be fine.
I don’t know whether I should feel embarassed that I didn’t connect this to current events until I read the comments. I found it to be a beautiful and universal message for all of us.
Alyson,
Honestly? I’d certainly heard of her. Had to Google to see if I recognized any of her music. Think I’d heard some before. But when reading about her, this post flowed through my mind.
I thought a lot about what it was like to be 27.
While it was written the day after her death, and entered my brain because of what I read about her, it was really meant for all of us.
See what I mean about you and I being on the same wavelength?
Thx. ;)
Jesse,
I know all we do–our energy and emotion is focused on our kids’ well-being. All we can do is try our very best to equip them with what they need to make it. A love of simple beauty and kindness is important, and, as you and I have written before, empathy, empathy, empathy!!!!
Take good care of yourself!
Lynn,
Yes. Empathy! Imagine what this world could be if empathy was a priority.
You take care of yourself, too.
My next post is about what I’m doing lately to take better care of myself. I hope you like it.
Jesse,
I can hardly wait to read your next post. I am certain I will learn from it!
Happily anticipating . . .
Lynn,
Thanks for the warm encouragement. ;)
Ms. Jesse,
Thank you for this :D
I recently looked into narcissism and I possess many of the qualities.
I found your blog through google.
Reading about your ex-husband allows me to see what’s wrong with some of my own behaviors.
I’m learning empathy. What it feels like to be on the receiving end of what I’ve dished out to others.
This particular post comes just in time. I am 24 and this post resonates with me a lot. I am printing it right now to hang on my wall as a reminder.
God bless you, it sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job answering your children’s questions. You have wisdom.
Amy S.
New York
Amy,
Thanks for writing.
We all fall somewhere on the narcissism spectrum. I was just reading about how a little narcissism is actually healthy.
You sound self-aware. You sound like a soul who is interested in learning and working on being her best possible self. Those qualities definitely move you toward the healthier side of the narcissism spectrum.
Keep up the good work, Amy.
Best wishes.