I stop at the top of the hill and yell for them to keep going. I want to watch them.
I plant my poles, snug my hat down a bit and wrap my arms around myself to block the chill.
The temperature hovers at 10 degrees. It’s beautiful windless cold – the crisp blue of a winter sky when the light makes edges sharp.
I take a mitten off to wipe my nose.
I quick jam my hand back in the mitten and tuck thumbs into the finger sides to soak up the warmth generated by many. Thumbs have it tough. They can’t generate enough heat all by their lonesome. They need company to have any shot at getting warm.
I watch Will’s wide arcing turns as he powers through the powder. He rides low on the hill. His whole body makes the turn. I’m afraid his shoulder will come in contact with the snow and soon I will see him cartwheeling to a stop. He gets close enough to the edge of disaster before the strength in his legs sends him turning in the other direction.
When did he get so strong?
Not far behind, Jenny gracefully executes short zigs and zags in a straight line down the hill with her arms stretched out at her sides, as if to embrace the sky. Her skiing is more like dancing. She’s not attacking the hill like her brother does in his full-on, testosterone-laden assault. She skims the snow in a way that makes me think she might take flight if she had enough fairy dust in her jacket pocket.
When did she get so graceful?
I can’t believe those two skiers used to be my babies.
I can’t believe I used to carry them everywhere.
I yank off a mitten to wipe my nose again and wonder how a mom manages to go skiing with her kids and forgets to pack Kleenexes.
And then I hear it.
A whisper.
A whisper comes from the trees.
I look to my left and see snowflakes – or is it diamond dust – floating in the air above branches. The flakes are stirred by the breath of the whisper.
The whisper says, “Remember this.”
“This is one of those days that you will look back on with fondness.
This moment will be held up against a bad moment to create the balance of a good life.
Forget about whether you can keep up or whether you hold them back. Quit wondering if they’ll decide it isn’t cool to ski with you anymore.
Savor this moment.
Create a frame in your mind for this picture.
Now catch up to them, and when you get there, give ’em your biggest smile. Laugh out loud and tell ’em how fun they are.
Go.
Go, and don’t forget this day.”
I shivered reading this, not from the cold, but by your words of love……..
Annie,
I know you feel the same way about your babies.
This is simply beautiful Jesse. The love you have for your children is infinite, and is conveyed beautifully in this post. I think as your children continue to grow you will only create more great moments/days like this to enjoy & savor. Let go of any worry and relish every second. I know you already do.
I love this post, I am so glad you have written it to always help you remember :) Happy New Year!
I felt like I was standing next to you watching them disappear into the powdery fluff. What a beautiful memory…
Kira,
I know you try to savor every moment also. There are so many sparkly moments, if we choose to see them as such.
NM,
It’s the best we can do since we sure can’t get ’em to slow down! ;)
Happy New Year to you and yours.
Z,
Have you ever skied? Your boys might love it. *hint, hint*
HA! The last time I skied was about 20 years ago. I am pretty sure it would hurt now, but a mid-life crisis may make me get there soon! :)
Z,
Say it with me…
I. Bu. Pro. Fen.
;)
You crack me up! Is that what is in my future? I have already realized that I like staying in rather than going out, the plucking of the 2 white hairs on my head is more frequent, and I may have NO eyebrows soon if I keep obsessing over the white beasts there too. Oh boy, is that 4-0 is gonna hurt in March!
Z,
2 white hairs on your head? Seriously? I lost count years ago. Don’t get me started on crow’s feet.
Let me be the first to warn you, if you aren’t one of those that gets a Brazilian, then, yeah…. you’ll find ’em there, too.
And since I’m older than you, I can tell ya… If you don’t keep getting out there and playing with your boys, the time will sneak away from you and you’ll regret it.
Darling, I’d be more sympathetic if I wasn’t turning 5- frickin’ -0 in May.
love ya ;)
YES! What a beautiful sermon on living in the now.
I’m in that space too. I believe someone once referred to it as ‘sucking the marrow out of life’.
I just know that I want each moment to be remembered by every cell in my body, and to just vibrate in gratitude.
Thanks again, Jesse!
And also Congratulations to our wonderful friend!
101 Wonderful Women Bloggers for 2012
Jesse Blayne – Writer – thoughtful, real and relevent she posts about life and it is highly relatable.
Course, WE knew it all along! What a way to start the year!
Donna,
Thank you. This post was about living in the now … and because my now is about Jen and Will, I told it that way.
We all have a now that we ought to be inhabiting, whether we have kids, critters or not.
Although, my reference to thumbs was about the sweetness and warmth that comes from having good company on the journey.
I am blessed to enjoy your company on the journey. ;)
Donna,
At the risk of sounding narcissistic, I’m posting your comment.
p.s. Yay, Jesse! You go girl!
Cherish Every moment as you do – they grow up too fast. The memories will keep you going once they are grown up. You can look back and smile about the fun times. Some days these memories will give you the extra boost you need to get through a tough day.
Zaira 40 is not so bad!
Kath,
Thanks for sharing. You are there. You know.
LOL! You have a point. We have no snow. It just got cold so indoor activities are in order for a little bit. But bowling is awesome! And I make boxing on the Wii really fun. :)
Off to get some hair dye and botox cream…xoxo.
Jesse:
You worked hard, both internally (clearing up your ‘stuff’) and externally (divorcing, moving, starting a blog, writing a book) for your “101 Wonderful Women Bloggers for 2012” honor.
You deserve every accolade!
Z,
Let me know what you think of the botox. ;)
Donna,
Thank you. I am proud of myself. Until the last couple years, that had been a foreign feeling.