In this moment, let quiet beauty be enough.
Posts Tagged: a girl can dream
15
Feb 13
Words Got Her Out
A few more boxes to pack and load into the car and she’d be done.
She thumbed through magazine clippings that had been filed in an office drawer. Some clippings dated back to her college years – that dreamy phase of, “When I grow up and marry, I hope my kitchen has …..”
There were clippings of herb gardens, bathroom paint colors in sage and mint, examples of open shelves instead of upper cabinets for the ideal kitchen, and nursery ideas.
__________
Her girlfriends thought she was crazy for not wanting upper kitchen cabinets. She loved how open shelving prevented her from collecting junk. Continue reading →
17
Jan 13
On Broken Hearts
“Well,” the Goddess said,“your heart didn’t heal straight the last time it broke.
So we’ll break it again and reset it so it heals straight this time.” – Jane Yolen
*Maybe if we looked at it this way,
a broken heart wouldn’t seem insurmountable.
15
Jan 13
The Jigsaw Puzzle
She was too exhausted to untie the bundle. He stood next to her and excitedly pulled at the bow that was wrapped tightly around the four corners of the blanket. His hands were shaking. He fumbled a bit, but the blanket fell open to reveal the most precious gift. He gently placed the baby in her arms. They didn’t notice the green organza bag that fell out of the blanket to the floor.
They cooed at the baby while the nurse placed the green bag inside an overnight bag.
__________
A couple days later a tired, happy, new mom unpacked the overnight bag. Inside she found the shiny green bag. Was it a gift from the hospital? In her exhaustion, had she forgotten who’d brought her this unusual gift? She opened the bag to find seven brightly colored pieces from a jigsaw puzzle. Surely there was a puzzle somewhere that was missing important pieces. Who could this belong to?
She was too tired to sort out the mystery, so she placed the green bag on the shelf above the changing table. Continue reading →
30
Dec 12
New Growth
Lose weight.
Exercise more – hell – start exercising.
Quit smoking.
Start walking.
Read more.
Watch less TV.
Eat better. Eat less. Eat mindfully, or not at all.
Go to the gym or at least sign up at a gym, go to meet a friend and drink coffee by the elliptical machine.
Cut up credit cards.
Get more sleep.
What are you fixing?
What do you want to change?
What needs to be eliminated?
What ought to be included?
Where do you begin?
In the plant world, new growth is supported by existing growth. The old growth may be trimmed or pruned to make room for the new, but the old is still necessary.
New growth is fed by what comes before.
Acknowledge what you have done well.
Appreciate what is already good.
Focus on the steps you’ve taken so far.
Build slowly to create lasting, healthy change.
Add on to the strong foundation you’ve built up to this point.
Keep what is working, prune what doesn’t benefit you, and allow space for new growth.
There’s no need to start from scratch. There’s no need to beat yourself up for missteps.
Stop psyching yourself out about the first day of January. Quit letting the calendar make you feel bad about yourself.
Don’t turn healthy changes into a big issue.
Incorporate change in small, steady ways – each day. If today isn’t the day to go to the gym, let that be okay.
Take the pressure off of yourself.
Tonight, after brushing your teeth and reading a couple pages in that self-help book, revisit your day. Think of the things that have gone well. Think of what you might do differently tomorrow.
It’s okay.
Keep trying.
Go slow.
Be kind to yourself.
This isn’t a race.
You’ll get there.
New growth takes time.
21
Dec 12
A Good Kind of Christmas
She had hoped he’d walk into the kitchen, smell the Spritz Cookies baking in the oven, warmly greet the kids, and come up behind to wrap her in his arms and whisper, “Merry Christmas, honey.” Instead, he walked in, grabbed the vacuum and started bumping into their toes as he cleaned up flour dust and cookie sprinkles. “Daddy, aren’t the cookies pretty?” He took a few more swipes with the vacuum and said, “Yes, honey, now let’s start cleaning up this mess.”
She’d planned to stroll arm-in-arm, watching the snow fall, seeing the Christmas lights twinkle, and enter shops to jointly select Santa’s gifts for the kids. Instead, he told her that he was too busy and shopping was a wife’s job.
She decorated the tree with ornaments the kids had made, hung the stockings she’d sewn for each of them, and hand-colored the Christmas cards she’d planned to mail to their friends and family. He told her he’d already sent cards to his friends and family, and that she didn’t need to bother combining his list with her list.
She put lots of thought into the gift she would make for him – maybe a collage of photos from his childhood, or a shadow box full of keepsakes from his outdoor adventures. He let out a sigh of frustration when he asked, “So, what should I be getting you this year?”
He’d sit on the couch and watch TV while she read The Tub People’s Christmas. When the kids giggled over the arrival of Santa in the story, he asked if they’d keep it down so he could hear his show. Continue reading →
11
Dec 12
On Default Settings and Choice
Stumbling in the dark, hoping to avoid stepping on the cat on my way to making that first cup of coffee in the morning, I do not have the presence of mind to plan on having a happy day. Once I’ve had those first sips and my eyes start to focus, I am not any closer to consciously thinking, “Today is going to be really happy.”
Will is six-month-old puppy-happy every day, and even he doesn’t get out of bed and announce, “Today I’m going to be really happy.” He just is. That is his default setting.
My setting is more in the range of – get along; don’t rock any boats; hope to get a few things done and feel like I’m a decent person by the end of the day kind of setting.
Grooves and Defaults Continue reading →
4
Dec 12
On Red Flags and Starting Over
Does he monopolize the conversation? Does he fail to ask of my life?
Does he care more about his looks than I care about mine? Do I get to be the pretty one in this relationship?
Does he treat Jen and Will like they are a nuisance?
Does he have friends? Does he get along with his family? How does he talk about his kids? How does he treat a waitress or the clerk at the grocery?
Does he act entitled? Does he lack empathy? Continue reading →
9
Nov 12
What is Said and What is Heard
He said: Your face looks full with that haircut.
She heard: Your face looks fat; I hate your haircut.
She said: That looks pretty good, but you should have done it this way.
He heard: That looks pretty good, BUT …
They said: Are you sure it’s a good idea to homeschool the kids?
She heard: You’re going to ruin them for life.
He said: I can’t live like this anymore.
She heard: Do things my way or I’m out of here.
He said: I don’t care what we do, you decide.
She heard: I don’t enjoy spending time with you enough to make the effort to decide.
She said: I don’t care what we do, you decide.
He heard: It’s okay if you spend the evening with friends; I won’t be mad if you don’t come home.
He said: That’s okay, bud, I’ll have the shop wax my skis.
He heard: You aren’t capable of waxing my skis.
He said: Maybe you shouldn’t be so sensitive.
She heard: If you didn’t get your feelings hurt so easily, I wouldn’t have to be careful about what I say.
They said: You should write blog posts that are this long, on this many days with these kinds of headings.
She heard: You are doing it all wrong.
He said: I like it better when you do it this way.
She heard: I don’t like you the way you are.
She said: I heard you, but we are doing it my way.
He heard: Don’t bother telling me what you want because I’m not listening anyway.
She said: Pack your bags, we’re going to stay at grandma’s.
They heard: We are going to live with people who let us be who we are.
They said: Love you.
She heard: Love you.
1
Nov 12
Stopping the Noise
Stop for a minute and look around you.
Let your eyes fall on something you would normally ignore.
Focus on the negative space that surrounds a Starbucks go cup. Notice the way the arm of a chair curves to meet the seat. Appreciate the pressed corners of the collar on a charcoal grey wool coat.
See the color of the cement when it’s wet. Try to think of the name of the color of a curled leaf. Is it amber? Is it burnt umber?
29
Oct 12
Bringing Out the Best in Each Other
The turning leaves are enhanced by the dusting of white on the river bank. The leaves aren’t frosted in white, and the white bank isn’t covered with amber leaves.
The leaves and the snow bring out the beauty in each other.
__________
She offers to fill my calendar along with her own, and laughs when I say, “We’ll take a rain check on that one.” Continue reading →
7
Oct 12
A Ripple of Light
She sits in the glow of the computer screen, wringing her hands. It’s late – kids are in bed. She’d put her fingers on the home row and type, but she doesn’t know what to say.
She doesn’t know how to help.
She reads their words and feels their anguish. She senses the tightness in their chests. She hears the worries that keep them from sleep.
The instinct to want to protect their babies runs deep.
There is power in their anger. The strength required to control their anger makes them far stronger than most. Continue reading →
2
Oct 12
What Change Feels Like
Change feels like the steady slow creep to the crest of the roller coaster hill, the brief pause before the crazy descent and the exhilaration that comes from having the guts to go, without the throwing up after.
Change feels like the warmth coming from the wood stove after splitting and stacking the wood and cleaning the chimney – the warmth that comes from self-sufficiency and independence.
Change feels like that pair of jeans that fits your figure and makes you feel good about yourself, even if there are parts of you that you’d just as soon forget about.
Change feels like the time you had the courage to raise your hand because you knew the answer, having been called on, and being right.
Change feels like knowing something – down to your bones: the directions to your brother’s house in a city you visit once a year; the memorized recipe for brownies you make from scratch when that craving for chocolaty decadence takes over; the friend you can call at whatever hour because you both are always there for each other. Continue reading →
8
Sep 12
De-Stress
is our ability to choose one thought over another. -William James
