Posts Tagged: cuz I am Woman

Random Observations — 6 Comments
20
Nov 12

A Thanksgiving Prayer

Thank you for blessing me with Will and Jenny.  Their presence is proof that I deserve good in my life.

 

Thank you for presenting me with the lessons I need.  Thanks, also, for your patience while I re-learn a lot of those lessons.

 

Thank you for knowing how much I can handle, and for not dumping it on me all at once.

 

Thank you for leaves to rake, fresh air to breathe, snowflakes to anticipate and the change in the seasons.

 

Thank you for each new quiet morning, the fullness of the day, and the tranquility of night.

 

Thank you for not taking me too seriously, and for not laughing at me when I do.

 

Thank you for friends – those who’ve come and gone and left their mark, and those who’ve stayed for the long haul.

 

Thank you for family and their impact on our lives.

 

Thank you for giving second, third and fourth chances so that I may continue to try and get it right.

Child of Narcissist / Control / Homeschool / Lack of Empathy / You Might Be a Narcissist If ... — 13 Comments
9
Nov 12

What is Said and What is Heard

She means business when she decides to snow.He said:  Your face looks full with that haircut.

She heard:  Your face looks fat; I hate your haircut.

 

She said:  That looks pretty good, but you should have done it this way.

He heard:  That looks pretty good, BUT …

 

They said:  Are you sure it’s a good idea to homeschool the kids?

She heard:  You’re going to ruin them for life.

 

He said:  I can’t live like this anymore.

She heard:  Do things my way or I’m out of here.

 

He said:  I don’t care what we do, you decide.

She heard:  I don’t enjoy spending time with you enough to make the effort to decide.

 

She said:  I don’t care what we do, you decide.

He heard:  It’s okay if you spend the evening with friends; I won’t be mad if you don’t come home.

 

He said:  That’s okay, bud, I’ll have the shop wax my skis.

He heard:  You aren’t capable of waxing my skis.

 

He said:  Maybe you shouldn’t be so sensitive.

She heard:  If you didn’t get your feelings hurt so easily, I wouldn’t have to be careful about what I say.

 

They said:  You should write blog posts that are this long, on this many days with these kinds of headings.

She heard:  You are doing it all wrong.

 

He said:  I like it better when you do it this way.

She heard:  I don’t like you the way you are.

 

She said:  I heard you, but we are doing it my way.

He heard:  Don’t bother telling me what you want because I’m not listening anyway.

 

 

She said:  Pack your bags, we’re going to stay at grandma’s.

They heard:  We are going to live with people who let us be who we are.

 

They said:  Love you.

She heard:  Love you.

My Minimalism / Random Observations / Tools — 1 Comment
1
Nov 12

Stopping the Noise

autumn leaves and a watering canStop for a minute and look around you.

Let your eyes fall on something you would normally ignore.

Focus on the negative space that surrounds a Starbucks go cup.  Notice the way the arm of a chair curves to meet the seat.  Appreciate the pressed corners of the collar on a charcoal grey wool coat.

See the color of the cement when it’s wet.  Try to think of the name of the color of a curled leaf.  Is it amber?  Is it burnt umber?

  Continue reading →

Random Observations — 6 Comments
29
Oct 12

Bringing Out the Best in Each Other

Bringing out the best in each other.The turning leaves are enhanced by the dusting of white on the river bank.  The leaves aren’t frosted in white, and the white bank isn’t covered with amber leaves.

The leaves and the snow bring out the beauty in each other.

__________

She offers to fill my calendar along with her own, and laughs when I say, “We’ll take a rain check on that one.” Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Parenting — 11 Comments
13
Oct 12

What Would You Say?

mom and daughter

She said, “Mom, how much longer do I have to do these dad visits?”

What would you say?

Child of Narcissist / Quotes / Random Observations / Stories — 24 Comments
7
Oct 12

A Ripple of Light

She sits in the glow of the computer screen, wringing her hands.  It’s late – kids are in bed.  She’d put her fingers on the home row and type, but she doesn’t know what to say.

She doesn’t know how to help.

She reads their words and feels their anguish.  She senses the tightness in their chests.  She hears the worries that keep them from sleep.

The instinct to want to protect their babies runs deep.

There is power in their anger.  The strength required to control their anger makes them far stronger than most. Continue reading →

Moving On / Random Observations / Seeing My Path — 5 Comments
2
Oct 12

What Change Feels Like

Change feels like the steady slow creep to the crest of the roller coaster hill, the brief pause before the crazy descent and the exhilaration that comes from having the guts to go, without the throwing up after.

Change feels like the warmth coming from the wood stove after splitting and stacking the wood and cleaning the chimney – the warmth that comes from self-sufficiency and independence.

Change feels like that pair of jeans that fits your figure and makes you feel good about yourself, even if there are parts of you that you’d just as soon forget about.

Change feels like the time you had the courage to raise your hand because you knew the answer, having been called on, and being right.

Change feels like knowing something –  down to your bones:  the directions to your brother’s house in a city you visit once a year; the memorized recipe for brownies you make from scratch when that craving for chocolaty decadence takes over; the friend you can call at whatever hour because you both are always there for each other. Continue reading →

Control / Moving On / Seeing My Path — 1 Comment
29
Sep 12

Control Your Destiny


I believe that you control your destiny,
that you can be what you want to be.
You can also stop and say,
“No, I won’t do it, I won’t behave his way anymore.
I’m lonely and I need people around me,
maybe I have to change my methods of behaving.”
And then you do it.
– Leo Buscaglia

Moving On / Quotes — 12 Comments
31
Aug 12

On Closing Doors

When one door closes, another opens;
but we often look so long and so regretfully
upon the closed door that we do not see
the one which has opened for us.
 – Alexander Graham Bell

 

Moving On / Random Observations / Stories — 1 Comment
6
Aug 12

Bandaging with Humor

 

I thought better of it.

I tried to talk myself out of it.

I could come up with something else.

But I can’t quit laughing about the truth in this email I received right after he left town.  I got this from a friend who didn’t know what I was dealing with.  And he got it from the hilarious world of the internet.  (Timing is everything!)

 

The wife left a note on the fridge:

“It’s not working.
I can’t take it anymore!!
Gone to stay with Mother.”

I opened the fridge, the light came on and the beer was cold…….

What the hell is she talking about?

 

It’s funny because it’s true.

 Laughter heals.

Moving On / Seeing My Path / Stories — 15 Comments
4
Aug 12

On Old Wounds and Changing Bandages

“Can I see you when I get out that way?”

She replied to his email – the one she shouldn’t have opened – with, “As friends.”

He didn’t like that answer.  (Do guys ever like that answer?)

He waited to call, hoping she’d make the first move.

She didn’t. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / My Minimalism / Parenting / Random Observations — 8 Comments
24
Jul 12

Notes From a Summer Getaway

You may be thinking that you need a prescription, but it could be that you need to drive a road that lazily winds around a mountain lake.  Roll the windows down and sing to the Doobie Brothers.*

Kids don’t need DVD players or iPads if one of ’em has a fishing pole, the other has a floaty mattress for playing in the lake and they both have nets for catching minnows.

Moms don’t need laptops, internet connection or a day at the spa if they have a good friend to chat with and reservations for dinner.

The withdrawals from that lack of internet connection last about four hours.  Fill the void with Cheetos and red wine.  It’ll pass. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Moving On / Seeing My Path — 38 Comments
5
Jul 12

Scream It With Me

From the nearest hilltop.

From a virtual mountain, if that’s your thing.

From the top floor of your apartment building.

From your desk at work with your mute button on.

From your shower.

With fists clenched and head thrown back…

 

“I am a good person.

I have a kind heart.

I have always tried to do my best.

I know I am responsible for where I have ended up.

 

Must I pay for my mistakes for the rest of my life?!

 

May I be done now?”

 

 

Straighten your blouse, brush your bangs to the side, glance around to see if anyone is staring and get back on your path.

 

 

*The desperate screams of a woman who fears she’ll have to deal with her narcissistic ex-husband for the rest of her life.

 

Child of Narcissist / Random Observations / Stories — 6 Comments
25
Jun 12

On Building Character

It was her job to load the splitter, catch the split logs and pass them to the stacker.  They developed a rhythm as they worked, stopping only to drink water or wipe sweaty brows.  They enjoyed a sense of accomplishment, congratulating each other as the stack grew.  The hard work earned them the beers they would enjoy on the deck that afternoon.

Logs with knots were tricky for the splitter.  She’d learned that when a log doesn’t split all the way because of a knot, she could lift the log over her head and slam it down on the ground with all her might.  The force would split the log in two.

Sometimes.

That trick didn’t always work.

Some logs were tougher than others. Continue reading →

Control / Moving On / My Minimalism / Quotes — 1 Comment
21
Jun 12

Say It With Me

 
Half of the troubles of this life
can be traced to saying yes too quickly
and not saying no soon enough.
 – Josh Billings
 
What is a rebel?  A *woman* who says no.
 – Albert Camus

 

 

 
← Older Entries
Newer Entries →