humor « Surviving Narcissism

Posts Tagged: humor

The Paper Chair

the-paper-chair I walk by this chair multiple times a day. I’ve swept the dust bunnies of cat hair away from the rolled paper legs. I’ve straightened the legs after one of us has cut the corner too tight and clipped the edge of the chair on our way to the kitchen. Each time I walk by, I wonder what it might be like to be light enough to sit down on this delicate chair.

I picture my spirit sitting on this chair with a white cup of tea.

Lately, my spirit has been heavy.

__________

Jenny made this chair while I was shoveling snow for the 57th time this winter. I’d have been kicking rocks while I was yammering about the weather, only all the rocks were buried under eight inches of new snow. While I was shoveling, Will was snowboarding on the fresh snow that blanketed the park across the street. I could here the gliding sounds of his board. Every now and again, I’d hear him yelp with excitement when he’d nail another epic kicker. I thought to myself, how can anyone have that much fun in this weather? It’s 9 degrees outside. How can that be a desirable way to spend an afternoon? Continue reading →

Moving On / Random Observations / Seeing My Path / Tools — Comments Off
23
Feb 11

Notes on Advice

Please give me some good advice in your next letter.
I promise not to follow it.

Edna St. Vincent Millay

When a man won’t listen to his conscience,
it’s usually because he doesn’t want advice from a total stranger.

Lindsey Stewart

Advice is what we ask for when
we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.

Erica Jong

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.

Oscar Wilde

A word to the wise ain’t necessary,
it’s the stupid ones who need the advice.

Bill Cosby

Child of Narcissist / Random Observations / Tools — 5 Comments
17
Feb 11

More from the YCMTSU File

*YCMTSU – You Can’t Make This Shit Up

One night in August of 2009 I was sitting cross-legged on our purple love seat with the laptop on the cushion next to me. I’d been writing on this blog for a couple weeks, and I realized I needed to name the characters.

My companion through college, two failed relationships, the laundry-list of jobs, and the births of my kids was a cat (soul mate) named Jesse.

I don’t know where I came up with ‘Blayne‘, but ‘Jesse’ and ‘Blayne’ sounded good together.

I went on to name my kids. Will‘s name was actually one of the names on the list that I carried in a backpack along with fuzzy socks, a journal and a toothbrush, to the hospital, on the day he was born.

Jenny‘s name isn’t directly tied to anyone. I like that name because it is sunny, happy and it doesn’t sound like the name of someone who willingly chooses to be a doormat – all things that I want for my daughter. Continue reading →

Moving On / Random Observations — 14 Comments
14
Feb 11

When Will We Get There?

We see a lot of roadside memorials in this part of the West. We often drive long stretches between destinations, and it is not uncommon to see several death markers en route. I can’t remember when I first asked my mom what they were, but those markers are as much a part of any drive as wheat fields, mountains, deer and blue sky. Often, the crosses are adorned with plastic flowers or wreaths or ribbons.

I’d never actually witnessed an individual decorating their loved one’s cross. I’ve never seen a new cross being put in place to honor the victim of a fatal car crash.

__________

On the way home from the ski hill, grandpa piloted the car with the three grandkids. I imagine he got ears full of stories of jumps, gooey cheese fries, bruises, near crashes and other amazing tales of the day spent on the slopes.

I enjoyed a grown up conversation with my brother as we followed behind in a separate, quiet rig. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Control / Lack of Empathy / Narcissist Quotes / Quotes / The World Revolves Around Me / You Might Be a Narcissist If ... — Comments Off
6
Feb 11

Narcissism and Kindness

Nobody can be kinder than the narcissist while you react to life in his own terms.

Elizabeth Bowen

Child of Narcissist / Quotes / Tools — 8 Comments
1
Feb 11

Getting Good at Laughing

Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the day.

Ann Landers

Child of Narcissist / Moving On / Tools — 5 Comments
24
Jan 11

The Jury’s Still Out

“Mom, how come Uncle John drinks so many beers? How come Grandma G doesn’t get down on the floor and play with us? How come dad gets mad at me for getting rocks in the grass? Why do we have to put all our toys away before dad gets home?”

Some of those questions are easier to answer than others. I could have glossed over some of the answers, or completely ignored some of the more difficult questions.

When my kids were little people learning to talk, figuring out that a lot of life was spent relating to other folks and not just their mom and dad, I made an instinctive decision to answer each and every one of their questions.

I made the choice to use other people’s actions and attitudes as learning opportunities.

My instincts also told me to use a respectful, adult voice when relating to my kids. Sure, there were times when we’d be snuggling or they’d be sitting on my lap, and I’d coo to them the way I sometimes feel that I’m biologically programmed to do. And, when they were sick, I’d use a sweeter, more tender voice. But for day-to-day interactions – discussing how to tie shoes, why you shouldn’t kick your sister in the butt with the pointy part of your cowboy boot, and why you may want to wait until you’re a 13 year old girl to roll your eyes – I’d use an adult voice. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Lack of Empathy / Moving On / The World Revolves Around Me / Tools / You Might Be a Narcissist If ... — 13 Comments
19
Jan 11

The Proof is in the Fritos

Late Monday afternoon I had the opportunity to enjoy a guilty pleasure. My kids were gone. I got a break from being a role model. I sat at the table in front of my laptop reading blog posts, while dipping Fritos in chili.

It was a little slice of heaven.

Yes, that is a big deal for me.

__________

I can’t eat when I’m nervous. Continue reading →

Moving On / Random Observations / Seeing My Path / Tools — 20 Comments
12
Jan 11

On Writing, the Universe, and Whiplash

One night, almost a year ago, I came bounding out of bed in the middle of the night with an idea for a post. I’d swear something had yanked me by the collar of my pjs.

I fixed a cup of tea and started writing. It was as if this post had built up in my mind while I was sleeping. It couldn’t wait until morning to be spilled out on the keyboard.

That post got me in some hot water. When I completed it – in about twenty minutes – I didn’t step back and anticipate that I might be getting myself in trouble for posting it. There was no question about hitting the ‘publish’ button.

To this day, I don’t know where that post came from.

This post arrived the same way. Continue reading →

Random Observations / Tools — 6 Comments
10
Jan 11

There Are No Shortcuts

*A lesson that bears repeating.*

I’m doing it again. I’m stuffing big logs and wads of paper into the wood stove hoping to keep it burning, even though I know the fire burns better with smaller, split wood. I’ll walk by in another couple minutes, angrily point a finger at the stove, and tell it, “Keep burning, dammit.”

Then I’ll run out of paper, and have to scrounge around the house looking for scratch paper, junk mail, and anything else remotely combustible.

Invariably, I’ll stand in front of the wood stove with my hands on my hips, ask the cat why she isn’t doing her part to keep the fire fed, and frustratedly open the door to the stove and poke at the smoldering logs.

All of this is because I’m lazy.

I’m too lazy to chop the firewood into smaller pieces that burn better. Truth be told, Will does all the chopping, and I don’t want to worry or hover or stand out there keeping an eye on him with my finger on speed dial, ready to call 911. I don’t want to make a bunch of trips hauling arm loads of smaller chunks of firewood. Continue reading →

Moving On / Opportunistic / The World Revolves Around Me / You Might Be a Narcissist If ... — 16 Comments
6
Jan 11

Solving a Mystery

This morning I was getting ready to put the finishing touches on a post about boundaries. I’d been convinced that things were going well with Mark because we had put some boundaries in place that protected us from hurts, while allowing for a modicum of a relationship with Mark.

He has been quite pleasant.

In the back of my mind, I’d been wondering if it’s really about boundaries.

Everything I’ve read about narcissists would indicate that a narcissist doesn’t respect boundaries. A narcissist goes through life looking for a source. Boundaries be damned. A narcissist doesn’t respect the needs of others, therefore, it would stand to reason that a narcissist would completely ignore any boundaries that a source might set.

I wanted to be able to explain this turn of events. Continue reading →

Moving On / Tools — 9 Comments
31
Dec 10

A Fond Farewell to 2010

big-old-tree You might be thinking that I’m counting down the minutes until 2010 comes to a close. You might be thinking that I am running in the direction of 2011.

I could let the screen door hit 2010 in the butt, on its way out.

I could give it a swift kick for good measure.

This last year was full of tears, and 2 x 4s to the head, and dashed hopes as well as triumphs and lessons learned. We experienced real, tangible, sustainable growth.

We worked hard. Continue reading →

Homeschool / Moving On / Seeing My Path / Stories — 10 Comments
27
Dec 10

On Breathing Easier and the Battle Ax in the Middle of the Night

apron At 2:00 a.m., those voices in my head can be pretty loud.

I don’t know who let the battle ax into my bedroom. She was holding a cast iron skillet. I don’t know if the skillet is her trademark, or if she was planning on hitting me with it. Her hair held spongy pink rollers. Over her mom-jeans, she wore a food-stained apron in a cherry print that barely stretched over her ample hips.

I’m sure her middle name is Guilt. Her last name is Doubt. First name is Jesse.

She barked at me for taking my kids out of public school. She lectured me for wanting so damn much out of a relationship. She snarled at me about my choices and the direction I’m heading.

With one hand on her hip, she started her relentless pestering. “Everyone else seems content to be in a so-so relationship. Why do you think you deserve to be any happier than anyone else? Hello, Missy, this is happy. Look around you. Everyone is coupled up, and they go about their business just fine. How much time do they spend worrying about being happy?” Continue reading →

Moving On / Recipes — 6 Comments
14
Dec 10

Spritz Cookies and Other Customs

spritz-cookies We made Spritz Cookies on Sunday. They’re my favorite Christmas Cookie, and my brother’s, too. And now, they are Jenny’s favorite.

Forever, the tradition has been to only have Spritz at Christmas. They are special, and they should be saved for a special time of year.

A couple years ago, Jenny asked, “Mom, can we make Spritz other times of the year?”

I started to tell her that Spritz were only made at Christmastime and that is what we do, but I stopped myself. I couldn’t think of a good reason for not making them other times of the year.

I don’t have good china, but I think it must be like using your china for special occasions, and then realizing you hardly ever pull out the china, or the good silverware or the fancy linens or the other special stuff. Continue reading →

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11
Dec 10