When I tuck Will in at night, he wants to know how many pages he should read before he turns out the light. He wants to know the plan for the next day. He wants to know if he will be allowed a cup of coffee. He wants to know what we’ll be doing for learning work, if he’ll have time to golf, and what we’ll be having for dinner. (I should clarify that he doesn’t need any kind of approval from me on all these things – pages read, golf time. But some things like coffee and dinner and learning work, he does need to hear from me.) When I tuck Jenny in, she is busily putting jammies on her Barbies and barely makes eye contact long enough to say goodnight.
On a spectrum that has “Go with the flow” on one end, and “Make a plan” on the other, my kids anchor the two ends, and I float some where in the middle.
None of our positions is perfect. But it is my continual pursuit of harmony in the home that makes me try to get us all to live together while acknowledging where we are on that spectrum. We often remind Will that sometimes the best things happen when you ‘play it by ear’. And we are often working with Jenny on her time management. If left to her own devices, she’d never make an appointment on time because she gets wrapped up in a project and can’t drag herself away.
When planning this cruise, I checked into all the different excursions. The ages of the kids bumped us out of most of them. I figured this was our first cruise together and we would get the feel for how things work, and not make specific plans for the port days. The night before Cabo, Will wanted to know what to expect. I told him we would get up, have breakfast, play mini golf and ping pong, shop for a souvenir, have lunch and get off the boat and explore Cabo. I left the ‘explore Cabo’ part wide open on purpose. That was enough of a plan to let him relax and let the day unfold. It wasn’t so much of a plan to make Jenny feel rushed or like she couldn’t just hang. And anyway, I didn’t have the foggiest idea of what we might do in Cabo.
The morning we pulled into Cabo San Lucas was warm and sunny and full of promise. Will needed to know what that promise would be. Jenny didn’t care so long as it was going to be fun. It was up to me to present an option that would please all parties. Continue reading →
We’re sending you a May Day Surprise. Since it’s a ‘virtual’ gift we can put in whatever we want – even if it’s not in season.
His buffalo plaid flannel shirt was neatly tucked into his creased, Sears Work ‘N’ Wear Kahkis.
A long time ago, I realized I couldn’t really boss my kids around. Oh sure, I could, but I’d be annihilating their spirits in the process. I’m not that kind of mom. There are probably a lot of parents that do a great job being the boss all the time (I doubt it), and it’s good for the three of us to remember that I am the boss. But, there is a lot of truth in being selective about which battles to pick.
A good friend is a connection to life —
Sunday is a great day to pound garlic. I probably pound garlic at least three days a week, but Sunday seems to be all about pounding garlic. I’m not rushing to put dinner on the table; I have the time to create in the kitchen, and I’ve got the time to vent and visualize while I cook.
a dream… Every so often, one of us would lose grip on our side of the table, and the legs would scrape against the sidewalk. The scraping sound seemed to echo in this warm, starlit night. It was close to midnight, and there wasn’t a hint of a breeze. I found myself wishing for a wind that would muffle the sounds of our shuffling and scraping. The three of us were carrying a large picnic table from house to house, sneaking into garages, trying to find a can of paint.
