survive « Surviving Narcissism

Posts Tagged: survive

Moving On — 7 Comments
26
Aug 09

Crabbiness

solitude I know. I know. My last post was about Enlightenment.

You may be thinking I must not be enlightened if I still get crabby.

Enlightenment is a process. Crabbiness is a part of that process.

The good news is that I’m not nearly as crabby as I used to be. (My kids might take issue with that last statement.)

I remember Mark telling me, “Maybe you should look into taking St. John’s Wort. How come you sleep all the time? You seemed more energetic when we were first going together.” Continue reading →

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25
Aug 09

Expectations and Enlightenment

Enlightened people never dwell on what they don’t want, what other people expect of them, or what always has been.

Author unknown

Child of Narcissist / Moving On — 3 Comments
25
Aug 09

It had been about six weeks since the kids and I had moved out. Mark and I were still going to counseling. At one point, he told me that he was convinced that my leaving was a temporary thing. He figured I’d get a little space, have a chance to miss him, and come running back with the realization that he was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

He believed I would come to my senses and see what was best for all of us, especially Will and Jenny.

I hadn’t completely given up, but I knew things would have to change dramatically before I would give any thought to the possibility of moving back.

Somewhere during this time I had picked up a copy of Real Simple Magazine and read an article about narcissism. I vividly remember handing my mom the magazine and telling her to read the article. “Mom! She’s talking about your parents.”

Moments later, mom hands back the magazine and says, “Honey, this is your husband.” Continue reading →

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23
Aug 09

All The Messes

It’s not the tragedies that kill us, it’s the messes.

Dorothy Parker

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22
Aug 09

Sit Back And Wait

Just let others do what they’re going to do. Your best strategy is to go for the old “give them enough rope and see what happens” rather than bailing them out.

Author unknown

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17
Aug 09

Suit Yourself

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.

Raymond Hull

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15
Aug 09

Real Freedom

There are two good things in life; freedom of thought and freedom of action.

William Somerset Maugham

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14
Aug 09

Inner Peace

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.

Albert Camus

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12
Aug 09

Our True Life Awaits

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.

Joseph Campbell

Moving On — Comments Off
12
Aug 09

Leaving

suitcase I didn’t know that I was married to a Narcissist when I decided to leave. I wish I could tell you what the last straw was. When I think back to that sunny Saturday in July, I try to find where my head was. It’s not like I had gone to bed the night before, with a plan. I have never been the kind of person to leave and come back, break up and get back together. It feels like crossing a bridge. Once I’ve crossed the bridge, I don’t go back.

On that morning, I had reached a wall or a limit. I grabbed three boxes, and handed each kid a box, keeping one for my self. I told them to put their most favorite things in their box. I told them that we wouldn’t be staying at this house anymore. I made a game out of it – no long faces, no lengthy explanations.

We were going on an adventure.

He walked in while we were packing and asked what we were doing. I explained that we were packing boxes for moving. Without hesitation he asked, “Do you want me to get the truck to help you with the boxes?”

(Weeks later I found the courage to tell him that I had always hoped I had the kind of marriage where, if I decided to leave, my partner might actually attempt to come after me. I know that contradicts the “crossing the bridge” explanation. It’s not that I would have actually stayed. But I really thought/hoped I might have been asked to stay; that this person might have cared enough to try to get me to stay.) Continue reading →