Narcissists Never Change

Ever have those days when you walk through your bedroom to get something, pass by your bed, and gaze at it longingly?  You would just give anything to jump in, have the covers surround you, and not have to deal with anymore that life has to dish out.  Today was one of those days.

The previous two nights, Mark has been over to have some “family” discussions.  We have been re-evaluating our choice of school for Will and Jenny.  Mark has been out of the loop, so I figured we better bring him into the dilemma.  He swooped in, took his role as patriarch, and began to attempt to solve the problem.  And that’s a good thing.  The kids need to see him take an interest in their lives.  However, I could feel myself getting progressively more tense as these talks got longer.  By the second night, he had gathered more info from other sources, and he was ready to enlighten us.  He was ready to take action.  We needed to set up a time to check out a different school.  He asked if I was going to make the call.  I suggested that since he had already established a contact, and since his work schedule was more demanding, he ought to make the call and I would work around his schedule.  He explained that he doesn’t hear well on the phone, and if I had questions, he wouldn’t hear the answers.  (He has had issues with his hearing since I’ve known him, but his vanity prevents him from doing anything about it.)  I told him that I’d just ask the questions at the school.  This was on a Wednesday night.  He was all jazzed about getting this handled.  When I suggested that he make the call the following morning, and schedule something for the next day’s afternoon, he balked.  “Oh, I can’t possibly be available until Monday.  I’ve way too much going on at work right now.”   Once again, the kids couldn’t possibly trump his agenda.

Tonight when he called, he was loudly munching on carrots, and distractedly asked about our day.  When I said that we were all a little blue because of this school dilemma he said, “Why?  What happened?  Aren’t they happy there?”  What?  Wasn’t he here the last two nights, telling us what to do and how to fix this?  I guess he figured he’d milked this situation for all he could get.  He was bored with our little crisis and had already moved on to something more interesting.

I’m headed for the comfort of my bed-a little earlier tonight than usual.  Just when I think maybe he’s turned the corner and he’s starting to have a little empathy for his kids, I get jerked back to reality with another slap in the face.  On the bright side, I’ll never run out of material for this blog.  (Note to self:  See the post on Forgiveness.)

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