This is the beginning. This is where I start to sort out what it means to survive narcissism. I am still coming out on the other side of this relationship. I’m not sure anyone knows how long it takes to make sense of the experience. Maybe I will always attempt to make sense of it. But with lots of humor and the help of great friends, I’m beginning to see what I’ve learned, and what I continue to learn about why I ended up in a relationship with a narcissist. Continue reading →
08
Aug 09
The beginning …
07
Feb 10
The Proper Care and Feeding of Your Narcissist
Eight years ago on Super Bowl Sunday, I was two months pregnant with Jenny, and I had round-the-clock morning sickness. To this day, I tell Jenny that she was worth every trip to the bathroom. One of my favorite pictures is a shot of me, looking awful from the morning all day sickness, holding a gallon-sized container of Atomic Fireballs. There’s something about the hot spicy jawbreakers that kept the sickness at bay. They were an absolute lifesaver. I had an Atomic Fireball in my mouth for 7 months. Poor Will was going on four years old. He got used to me hanging out in the bathroom. In fact, after Jenny was born, I was doing something, let out a cough, and I heard Will say, “Mommy, are you throwing up again?” Anyway, we had been invited to a Super Bowl Party. I was sitting in a chair, trying to summon up the strength to put on my shoes. I did not want to go to the party, but I didn’t want to disappoint Mark and Will. I looked at Mark and said, “I’m so sorry, but I just can’t go. I feel like all I’ve been doing is trying to simply exist.” He looked at me, let out a sigh of frustration and said, “Well, that is all you’ve been doing.” Continue reading →
04
Feb 10
His Narcissism and Her Restlessness
She pulls up every day at about 11:30 in the morning. She parks her car next to the park across the street from our house. She gets out and immediately lights up a cigarette. Her clothes have a kind of urban style, like maybe she’s a professional of some sort — lawyer, doctor, counselor, accountant or banker. I imagine she might be between appointments or on her way to lunch. She usually dresses in dark colors and a leather car coat and delicate, black framed glasses. She’s tall and thin with dark brown hair; and she never stands still. Most of the time she’s talking on her cell, walking back and forth, beside the length of her car. She’s trying to quit smoking, and she has a relatively new car. I think she doesn’t want to smoke inside her car. Or maybe she promised her partner that she quit, and she thinks that he won’t smell it on her, or the car. Continue reading →
Please watch 01
Feb 10
When Narcissists Win Grammys
We watched the Grammys last night. The Grammys might also be called, “The Music World’s Parade of Narcissists”. I don’t know why we watched. We like music. We wanted to see the people we like. Some of them were on there. But as we watched, and became confused by the display of glitz, and the annoying acceptance speeches, we started to wonder why we had tuned in. And then it took on all the fascination of a train wreck. We had to continue watching to see which Narcissist would attempt to out-do the other Narcissists. It was painful, hilarious, disgusting, and not in the least entertaining. Just what do the Grammys have to do with music? Continue reading →
31
Jan 10
Invest Wisely
The four most dangerous words in investing are, ‘This time it’s different’.
John Templeton
31
Jan 10
Narcissism and ROI
I had the “Finals Week Dream” last night. I used to have that one a lot. In the dream, it’s finals week and I’m looking at the printout that shows the schedule for my finals. I’m going over the schedule, thinking about how much time I’ll be able to cram for each test, and I see a final on there that makes me absolutely panic. I keep staring at the class number. My brain starts spiraling. Crap. I forgot to go to that class last quarter! How can I pass a final for a class I forgot to attend? I guess it has something to do with failing to be prepared? I’ve heard of people having the “Forgot The Baby On Top of the Car Dream”. Mine is always about having to take a final for a class I never attended. Continue reading →
28
Jan 10
The Blogger as Narcissist
Maybe I’m the Narcissist? Heck, I’m the one writing this blog. Could be I’m every bit as narcissistic as my wasband. Yikes. That thought used to keep me awake at night. I’ve taken the tests. I’ve read the books. It’s not lost on me that with as much time as I spend writing and thinking about my life, that I could be every bit as narcissistic as he is. Add to that the fact that I’m putting this all out there for the world to see. But I have enough experience in, and knowledge about, NPD to know that I’m not the narcissist. I sleep well at night. Continue reading →
27
Jan 10
Diet or Divorce
I did a double-take when I saw him. Is that who I think it is? We were walking toward each other, and I could tell that he was trying to figure out who I was, too. “Hey, Jesse, is that you?” It was him. “Chris, how are you? Haven’t seen you in awhile.” Continue reading →
25
Jan 10
Why Did the Narcissist Cross the Road?
The other night I really yelled at Jenny. Yes, it is only January, and I have already managed to remove myself from contention for “Mother of the Year - 2010″. That didn’t take long. Truth be told, I probably committed my first infraction on January 1st. Continue reading →
