Playing the Part of the Stand-In

This morning’s Twitter stream included a tweet from @AlisaBowman:

Today’s Mantra: I am the star of my own life. I play a supporting role in the lives of others.

Her tweet was the cold shower I needed this morning.  It was the wake-up call that I’ve been ignoring, or another 2×4 to the side of my head.

After reading Bowman’s tweet, I gave serious thought to my relationship history.  I thought of the role I play in my own life, and in the lives of those closest to me.  I have mastered the role of the supporting actress in my romantic relationships.  The minute I fall in love, I willingly assume the role of CEO of Support.

If he needs me to bolster his confidence, remind him of his talents, say the right words in the middle of the night to allay his fears, clear his calendar for those important seminars, provide timely servicing to help deal with his stress, shine his shoes or gas up the car, I am the girl.

Meanwhile, I take a quick glance back at my life only to see that the lead role is left vacant.  I occasionally make an appearance as stand-in, but I haven’t been starring in my own life.

There was an actress in that role at one point.  I knew her several years ago.  I’ve seen glimpses of her recently, but she’s yet to completely inhabit the role of lead actress in her own motion picture.  She acts the part of mom real well.  She’s all-consumed by that role, but she hasn’t fleshed out the rest of her character.

When I read Bowman’s tweet I realized that I’ve been so busy supporting others, I forgot to be the lead in my own life.

I want my shoes shined, and my passions encouraged, and my fears allayed, and my tank filled.  I want to know what it’s like to support myself, as much as I’ve supported others.  I want to know what it’s like to get top billing.  I want to roll out the red carpet for myself, for a change.


If this has to be a one-woman show, then so be it.



**Bowman’s site is Project Happily Ever After, a treasure-trove of proven ideas for helping troubled marriages.

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  1. LaVonne Ellis

    Yay, Jesse! You ARE a star.

    And not only can you support yourself… you deserve to have others support you. The right man will do that, but you have to support yourself first. I know you know that, I’m just reinforcing it.

    Be the star you are!

  2. LaVonne,

    Thank you. That’s something coming from you – someone I respect so much.

    Thank you. :)

  3. Love, love, love this post! I could use a page of this script for my own life. It feels good to know that it is okay to be the star of your own show.

    I personally think that a one-woman show can be fabulous!


  4. Reese,

    I bet you’ll look fantastic on the red carpet!

    Reminds me of a quote:

    Be yourself, everyone else is already taken. – Oscar Wilde

    Our roles have been waiting for us to step up and star.

    Let’s go!

  5. :::::::::::::::::::::::: applauding ::::::::::::::::::::::::::

    Standing O for you, girl!!

    And just a scant year ago, this concept would never have gotten your attention.

    Goin’ and growin’, movin’ and groovin!

    Can I have your autograph?

  6. I think you’ve heard this before. You were just ready to “listen” when you read the tweet today. Isn’t it amazing how these things work?

  7. Donna,

    You do make me laugh. We’ll talk autographs when I’ve grown and grooved a bit more. ;)

  8. Pat,

    That’s why my kitchen cupboards are littered with notes. I keep walking by and reading them, hoping that one day I will read them at the right moment on the right day, and the message will sink in.

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