Congratulations! You did it!
Pat yourself on the back. While that might be the only pat you get, it’s the only one that matters.
You’ve proven that you can sit still, be quiet, stand in line and follow rules. Those skills will come in handy.
Now it’s time to create your future.
You don’t have to know what that is today. In fact, you don’t have to have a plan. You don’t have to pursue a title or a label or lots of dollars. You do, however, owe it to yourself to find something you love doing.
How do you know what that is, you ask?
Your thing makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning. It makes you want to stay up all night. That thing you find will make you forget to eat, or call your mom, or remember to watch your favorite reality TV show. That thing you love to do will be as important as breathing. At times, it will make your heart race. Other times, it will be a calming force that makes sense out of craziness.
When you do your thing, you will feel like you are in harmony with the rhythms of the universe. There will be fewer doubting voices in your head. Life will begin to make sense.
That thing could bring you lots of money and popularity or no money and isolation. Your thing could take you to a corner of the Earth that you didn’t know existed. Your thing could keep you right here in your little hometown. That thing could save lives or build communities or do a better job of diapering babies or solve road rage.
Some lucky few know their thing from the day they can put a pencil to paper or ride a bike or stroke the fur of a beloved pet. Others stumble into their thing. Plenty spend a lot of years trying things, and never finding their thing.
Your thing may not necessarily please your parents. Your grandfather might very well be appalled. Your friends might call you and fool, but they’ll secretly wish they could find their thing.
You are accountable to yourself. You are not accountable to your parents, your grandparents, your friends or your teachers.
What matters is that you are proud of you. Do not spend any time worrying about whether others are proud of you. Don’t waste time worrying about what you didn’t get when you were young, whether it was support or encouragement or pats on the back. Don’t be bothered with filling those holes now. Doing your thing is the closest you will get to filling those holes for yourself.
Do not look to others for permission. Their things are different. Their things are about them. They might make excellent suggestions. Their hearts are in the right place, but they can’t know what’s inside your heart, so they can’t possibly know what your thing is.
It’s important to remember that it’s okay if your thing doesn’t look like the things that other people do. It’s dangerous to start comparing your thing to other things. Your thing will tarnish if you hold it up to other things. Your thing – because it is yours – will stand on its own. It might not make as much money as other things, it might be messy or lonely or clumsy or unpopular, but it is your thing.
There may be struggle in finding your thing. That’s part of the process for a lot of us. The struggle weeds out the things that might sound like our thing, but never feel right. The struggle keeps us heading in a direction that brings us closer to our thing.
Pay attention to how you feel when you do your thing. Your body will tell you if you’ve found your thing. You will feel energized, centered, alive and at ease. You will feel as though you can’t mess up when doing your thing. Oh, you will mess up! But, the messes won’t feel insurmountable. They will feel like a delicious challenge that is solved in the middle of the night, making you jump out of bed, head for the kitchen to get a cup of tea and sit under the least offensive light so as not to wake anyone while you ‘work’ as quietly as you can.
You won’t worry about being short on sleep, because you won’t miss sleep.
You’ll finally get to the store when the last saltine has been eaten.
You’ll return phone calls and emails when you get around to it.
Your thing is a tangible representation of your soul. Your thing is your stamp on the planet.
When you practice your thing, you will feel – down to your toes – that you matter.
Get out there!
Start doing.
Start creating.
Pay attention to how you feel.
Lose some sleep.
Forget to eat.
Find your thing and you will find yourself.
You should GIVE the commencement address!!!
Pat,
O! That would be something! I couldn’t do it without crying! I cried when I read it to Will.
ME TOO!!! awesome job, jesse! btw, what’d will say? vicki :)
Vicki,
Will said, “Awesome job, mom.”
I said, “Will, this is how I hope you and Jen approach life once you graduate from high school. You know how you can hardly wait to get out of bed to ski, golf, skateboard or do art?”
He said, “That’s easy!” And he went outside to skate at 9:00 a.m. because I asked him to hold off until then out of respect for the neighbors, rather than wake them all at 7:15 with his 180s.
aw….. i like that kid! vicki :)
so do I! ;)
Talk about a sweet kid. Proof again what an amazing job you’re doing. I agree this would be a hell of commencement speech for many to hear. You should be reading it aloud. Everyone is searching for “their thing”. It’s a lifelong journey in seeking ultimately what fills you inside. I honestly needed to read this at the moment I did. The universe answers when you need it to, and this narrative, was sincere confirmation for me to do diligently what I love doing. I love to write and it has been pushed to the back burner so much. I make excuses why I can’t find the time, why some other life event should supersede it. I realize in order for me to be truly happy I have to do my thing, and make my thing a priority everyday. Big changes are coming. I must risk in order to see if what it all could be. Thanks Jesse for writing the words I needed to hear :)
Kira,
I’m so glad this pushed a button for you.
I believe that a lot of us just need permission – or a gentle nudge – to find our thing.
Go for it!
That was awesome! Truly inspirational! Please write that to each of our kids as they graduate. xx
Kate,
You can count on that! ;)
I just sent it to my son, who was supposed to graduate this year. He holds himself back keeping all the hurt from narcissism inside. As he struggles with change right now, I hope that he can hear you. Thank you for putting that into such lovely words.
Oh Zaira,
My heart hurts for your son. And for you. I wish he could let those hurts out and move on and create a life free of that pain.
I’m hugging him as I do my own.
Jesse
Thank you for caring, hugging, and giving me what I needed to let some of this out too. xoxo
Zaira,
We are tough.
Kids are resilient.
I still worry more about the kids because I know the road they have ahead.
I wish I could just get a glimpse of the future…just to know that they are alright in the end.
Zaira,
I know. I’d like that glimpse, too.
But I choose to believe that they WILL be fine. That’s what I pin my hopes and thoughts and dreams on.