Why You Shouldn’t Make Your Bed Every Day

Finding order in making the bed.There are the frazzled days when, for no apparent reason, you feel out of sorts.

Maybe you blame it on the full moon.

Perhaps you need to eat more protein and less carbs – or less protein and more carbs – I can never remember.  You may be dehydrated, or you slept poorly.

You sit quietly, coffee in hand, sifting through the thoughts mulling around in your head, trying to filter out the cause of the frazzle-ness.  You find several potentials –  emails that need answers, an over-baked tray of cookies, the need to run out to get milk, or a dwindling supply of firewood.  None of them amount to enough to cause the Frazzle.

The exercise of sorting through and examining the thoughts helps you see that what you are craving, though, is control.

This moment – right here, right now – demands a bit of control.

Not the heavy-handed I’ll tell you what we are having for dinner and you will eat it kind of control, but the kind of control that attempts to gently pull in fractured energies and encourage focus.

In an uncharacteristically desperate attempt at gaining control I make the bed – the same one that will go for days without being made.

The making of the bed starts a snowball effect. (If I made the bed every day, I wouldn’t have an obvious place to start the snowball effect. Isn’t rationalization handy?)  The snowball builds as I clean the cat box, take out the trash, sweep the front stoop, straighten the cushions on the couch and refold the blanket on the rocking chair.

The completion of each chore, starting with making the bed, allows me to pull in all those scattered energies, get some semblance of control and focus on what’s really important – figuring out what to make for dinner.





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  1. It’s my period.

  2. Z,

    At least you have something to blame it on. ;)

    Before making the bed and sweeping, etc…. I hugged Will and told him that my being out of sorts wasn’t his fault. He said, “I know.” In an attempt to break the cycle with humor I said, “It’s Jen’s fault.” He said, “I know.” We shared that convo with Jen, and we all started laughing.

    Once again…. laughter saves the day. For the time being, anyway.

  3. “gently pull in fractured energies and encourage focus” -this part stood out to me the most Jesse.

    I can relate to this piece particularly well today. Funny how you connect with something that truly conveys where your head is at. I am in a frazzled space today, and in desperate need of focus. It happened without warning, and I am perplexed about its source. I don’t feel in tune with myself today, which for me is always an uncomfortable feeling. Fragmented is the word that fits today. It’s hard when you cant figure out the reason. It must stem from somewhere right?

    I am taking some time to sit with self, in the hopes today reshifts for the better.

  4. A small nugget of wisdom and joy. In the first year on my own it felt monumentous, at times, to make the bed, wash, fold and put away the laundry…but it was in fact, these small tasks which actually made me feel real. Clinically, I knew the seratonin boost was good for me, but spiritually it came down to “chop wood..carry water” …silly, isn’t it?

  5. Kira,

    Weird that so many feel it at the same time. I’m sure it has to do with the fact that we’re all connected. Not everyone feels it, tho. It’s the curse of being highly sensitive.

    The making the bed is a metaphor for shaking up my usual routine. That often does it for me.

    (P.S. Feel the need to explain that cleaning the cat box is part of my usual routine. Ha. Hoping a little humor helps you, too.)

  6. Elizabeth,

    NOT silly at all! ;)

    That’s what I’ve been trying to work toward… enjoying the chopping and the carrying …. ie. the journey.

  7. Must be the day…. I spent a lot of time yesterday telling the kids “I’m frazzled!”

    My frazzled strategy is napping…

    Comes from the days off having all energy being sucked out by N..

  8. Lisa,

    That’s a good one. I call GROUP NAP!

    I mean…. wherever you are… take a nap. Don’t all y’all come to my house. I managed to make the bed, clean the cat box and straighten a couple cushions and that’s about it.

  9. Well, I didn’t know it was my period (maybe a bit of a virus?) until 4 days into the frazzleness (frazzled mess??? Lol)! Last weekend, my house got clean from top to bottom. The homework got done. Then this weekend, when it wasn’t so crazy, I couldn’t focus to get the homework checked off the list and my head hurt (for 4 days). It still isn’t done. I HAVE WRITER’S BLOCK! How can that be? I am a scientist, not a writer, but I swear that is what it is. As I read another research paper, the words are swirling without any meaning. I am trying to synthesize thoughts when I have no thoughts of my own. It’s horrible. The assignment was due Friday night. I wrote a message to my professor on Saturday morning saying I wasn’t sure what was wrong, but something was and then took a nap! lol! Last night, I thought I was ready. Nope…I will try again today. It’s a good thing I have an awesome teacher that understands my dilemma. I must regroup…and maybe take another nap. :)

  10. I just woke from a nap LOL. I think you all are on the right page. When I give my mind time to rest, it may not alleviate the feelings completely, but I definitely feel better.

    Jesse thanks for the humor. It was indeed needed , & brought a smile to my face.

    My mother says I am highly sensitive. It’s so interesting you mentioned phrase. I tend to feel things x10. I am still working on this….:)

  11. Z,

    Wish I could think of something to say to break your block.

    I’m knee deep in Spring cleaning. I know… we still have a lot of winter left, but I feel the need to clear out the physical and maybe the mental will go with.

  12. Kira,

    A wonderful doctor once told me, “The herd NEEDS you sensitive ones. You are the first to sense danger.” I don’t want to change that part of me, I just want to learn how to be sensitive without getting totally depleted.

  13. Oy…. can oh SO relate to this! But I do find that the action of doing some of what needs to be done is what calms me, not the fretting/frazzling. I think a good lesson for every day life. ACTION is needed to keep calm, does that make sense?

    And, another thing, our house is really normal kid/dogs/busy/clutter… but being such a visual person the clutter and piles drive me batty! I’m very sensitive to visual mess. Actual dirt has no effect! That porch would have never seen a broom here, Jesse! But all the piles would have disappeared. Bizarre, I know.. *sigh* ;)

    Zaira, you could have a little virus… there is SO MUCH junk going around right now. Hope you feel better soon.

    xo, NM

  14. I can really relate to the “out of sorts” scatterered energy feeling as of today in fact.

    I love this blog! All of the comments are so encouraging. I love the humor especially. Blessings to all of you as you wade through all of this energy-sucking N stuff.

    Cheering for all of you!

  15. NM,

    Loved this… yes about ACTION keeping the calm. As my grandma says, “Try scrubbing the kitchen floor, then see how many problems you have.”

    And THANK YOU… I never thought of the correlation between being visual (which I am) and not being able to handle the clutter. I know my conniption this afternoon was due to Jen’s piles. I want to encourage her crafts, creativity and projects, but Geez Oh Geez, it’s a small house. The porch gets a sweeping cuz I don’t want to squash her spirit. And believe you me, a clean porch isn’t making me feel that much better when the piles drive me nuts! I’m going to try explaining this to Jen.

  16. Lynn and everyone else,

    Thank you all for commenting today. I needed the encouragement. You soothe my soul. Really.



  17. LOL, maybe an INFJ thing?? Do you also have to decorate with color? I can’t stand a beige house! We bought a brown sofa a couple years ago, and it about killed me. ;) LOTS of colorful throw pillows on that sofa now! I don’t know, with the visual clutter thing it’s something my roommate (still a dear friend) pointed out to me in college. She is fine with piles, but not actual dirt. I was always straightening and putting away her piles! She would dust/clean the bathroom/vacuum etc. She said it was because I was more visual, and she wasn’t. I actually feel myself tense up when I look around and the house is cluttered! My husband is just the opposite, he has to see it to remember it. It’s so hard with kids since they have the tendency to drop everything once something new comes along that they want to do. I have loads of systems, but it’s still just a constant battle. Your Grandma sounds wise. ;)


  18. We need sensitive souls in this world. I suppose we just have to learn healthier ways to nurture our sensitive side, without getting drained in the process. It’s all about balance :).


    You all rock!! I gain so much from this great community here!!

    Love & light to you all.

  19. NM,

    All I know is that I’m uncomfortable when everything matches. I need different color/textures to be comfortable.

    And yeah… kids and stuff. I have to be cautious that I don’t inflict my needs on them.

    Today… it’s all about Jen’s bedroom and creating some sense of order that we can BOTH live with – but more Jen than me since it’s her room.

    …. I’m drowning in Barbie and she’s floating along happily.

  20. My middle son is the same way. He’s a bookworm, an explorer. He has this awesome creativity, sensitivity, and intelligence. His room looks like a war zone. He saves everything. Not Barbies, though! With 3 boys, we don’t see much in the way if dolls. He saves rocks, sticks, scraps of paper, broken toy pieces, and stacks of books. He reads 4-5 books at a time. (actually I do that too, but im neater about it!;) Every 6-8 months I just have to go in there & spend a day helping him clean and organize. He “cleans” in between, but not really! ;) good luck today, Jesse!

  21. NM,

    I’m still putting it off. Mine is into rocks, too. And paper and crafts and dead bugs and …..

    Anyway… We’ll put in her favorite Taylor Swift CD, crank it and get it done.

    For me, it’s a lot like plugging my nose and jumping in the deep end.


  22. Hi everyone!

    This is kind of late, but it still might help us sensitives: there was apparently some sort of Coronal Mass Ejection or Solar Flare that the sun threw out Sunday or Monday, and it was huge, so I’m sure that was at least part of what all of us were feeling. We are all connected, and to nature too.

    I totally can relate to having visual clutter jangle your nerves. I’m like that too! Boyfriend is a pack rat. I’ve tried to change my attitude about it, set times to clean and organize (sound familiar Jesse?), but it never gets done and I doubt it’s ever going to change. Has me longing for a space of my own.

    But I also need to take responsibility for my messes, so I’m working on those too!

  23. Donna,

    From the YCMTSU File – (You Can’t Make This Shit Up.)

    Saturday night found the three of us watching Through The Wormhole with Morgan Freeman. We’d heard of it and Will was over the moon when he learned it was available on Netflix.

    We watched stuff about quantum physics, solar flares, how everything is impacted by everything else and a bunch of stuff that sounded a lot like Greek to me.

    Then Monday morning I clicked on this: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/02/21/brian-cox-everything-is-connected/.

    And then today you send this comment.

    After the way we were feeling on Monday, I am convinced about the connections between everything.

    And that totally freaks me out.

    In a good way.

    In the meantime…. back to Jen’s bedroom. We’re making progress, but I wouldn’t put bets on how long it lasts. God, I love that blonde haired, blue eyed huggable pack rat.

    I hope you feel a ripple effect from Jen’s organized bedroom. ;)

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