Parenting

Child of Narcissist / My Minimalism / Parenting / Random Observations — 8 Comments
24
Jul 12

Notes From a Summer Getaway

You may be thinking that you need a prescription, but it could be that you need to drive a road that lazily winds around a mountain lake.  Roll the windows down and sing to the Doobie Brothers.*

Kids don’t need DVD players or iPads if one of ’em has a fishing pole, the other has a floaty mattress for playing in the lake and they both have nets for catching minnows.

Moms don’t need laptops, internet connection or a day at the spa if they have a good friend to chat with and reservations for dinner.

The withdrawals from that lack of internet connection last about four hours.  Fill the void with Cheetos and red wine.  It’ll pass. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Moving On / Parenting / Stories / You Might Be a Narcissist If ... — 25 Comments
17
Jul 12

A Wink From the Universe

She certainly didn’t need another cup of coffee.

She looked inside her purse to make sure the box of Pepcid was there.  She wouldn’t have been surprised if – in the panic this morning – she’d left it on the kitchen counter.

Good.  There was the Pepcid.  She took one with a sip of cold coffee.

The worst part about these court appearances is that they were early in the day – too early for liquid courage.

At least the kids didn’t have to be at this court appearance.  It was stressful enough without having to consider the emotional fallout from the kids.  It’s not like she could pump them full of antacids.

__________ Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Control / Parenting / You Might Be a Narcissist If ... — 22 Comments
9
Jul 12

Refresher Course in Backbone Building

“Don’t give me that condescending load of crap.”

That was his response when I asked if he would please feed Will dinner instead of a milkshake on their outdoor adventure days.

He said, “He told me he wasn’t hungry when I asked if he’d rather have dinner or a milkshake.”

What kid wouldn’t choose a milkshake over dinner?

I couldn’t leave it alone. Continue reading →

My Minimalism / Parenting / Random Observations — 17 Comments
30
Jun 12

Do You Know Your Tolerance Level?

She brings him a mug of coffee and says, “How’d you sleep?”

He says, “I slept great.  How ’bout you?”

She says, “How can you sleep with that incessant dripping coming from the bathroom sink?”

He says, “That bugs you?  I can hear it but I just roll over and go back to sleep.”

__________ Continue reading →

My Minimalism / Parenting / Random Observations / Recipes — 13 Comments
5
Jun 12

Recipe For Happy Children

Take:

  • 1 large grassy field
  • 1/2 dozen children
  • 2 or 3 small dogs
  • 1 pinch of brook and some pebbles

Mix children and dogs well together.  Put them in the field, stirring constantly.

Pour this brook over pebbles; sprinkle with flowers.

Spread over all a deep blue sky and bake in hot sunshine.

When brown, remove and set away to cool in bathtub.

 

*Discovered in Rare Recipes and Budget Savers, a compilation of columns from The Wichita Eagle’s Home Town News.  
Published in 1961.
Contributed by B. M. Pittenger. 

Child of Narcissist / Parenting / Random Observations / Stories — 5 Comments
2
Jun 12

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up – 3

By the end of the third full day of rain, we’d filled our Yahtzee pages and played enough Aggravation to understand how the game got its name.

We’d run through Oh, Hell and Cribbage, too.  In a desperate move, I suggested Trivial Pursuit, even though I could clearly remember how the game was a yawn fest when I was a kid.

Jenny escaped to the garage to work on a project with grandpa.

Will, grandma and I dusted off the Trivial Pursuit box and pulled out the cards.   It wouldn’t be long before we’d lose Will.  We fumbled with questions like, “What team retired baseball player Stan Musial’s No. 6?” and “Who’s the barber in The Barber of Seville?”

It was Will’s turn. Continue reading →

Parenting / Quotes — 6 Comments
6
May 12

Anything Can Be


Listen to the Mustn’ts
Listen to the mustn’ts, child
Listen to the don’ts
Listen to the shouldn’ts
The impossibles, the won’ts
Listen to the never haves
Then listen close to me–
Anything can happen, child
Anything can be. 

-Shel Silverstein
 
 
Moving On / Parenting / Random Observations / Seeing My Path — 15 Comments
4
May 12

On Enjoying the Ride

Imagine how sweet this journey would be if we quit second-guessing every one of our decisions.  What if we reveled in the things that went well for longer than we stewed over the things that went wrong.

We’d more easily live in the moment, if we quit beating ourselves up over how we mishandled the last moment.

 

Potholes Along the Way

Festering, lingering, dwelling on the difficult does not help us learn the lesson better; it keeps us in a holding pattern and prevents the arrival of new lessons. Continue reading →

Homeschool / My Minimalism / Parenting / Random Observations — 11 Comments
1
May 12

A Tale of Manifesting

“Mom, didn’t you say you were going to take us to a play about Camelot?”

I’d lost the note I’d written.  At the beginning of April,  I’d discovered a college production of a funny version of King Arthur and Camelot.   I’d forgotten to buy tickets and the date was fast approaching.  “Will, I’m glad you reminded me.  I’ll get online and find out where to get tickets after we get back from the hardware store.”

__________

We’d gone to Home Depot under the guise of exploring options for a homeowner repair.  We came home with a pile of seed packets instead.

They each got to select a couple different packets for their corner of the garden.  Jenny selected celosia, forget-me-nots and celery.  She doesn’t actually like celery but her imaginary friend does.  Will selected a packet of habanero seeds and sweet onions.  I picked basil, California Poppies, hollyhocks, and nasturtiums.  I’m sure there were more in there. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Lack of Empathy / Parenting / The World Revolves Around Me / Tools — 12 Comments
26
Apr 12

Selective Attention and Homemade Tea Bags

her pretend tea bags When I brew a cup of tea, Jenny runs over to stand next to my cup.  Her turned-up nose hovers over the steam as she inhales deeply.  She loves the smell of tea but isn’t fond of the taste.  She often asks if she can dunk my tea bag while she watches the hot water take on the soft yellow of Chamomile.  She likes knowing the color comes from flower petals.

I think she’s drawn to the ritual of the process.  She’s fascinated by the little envelopes that hold the dried leaves.  She likes the names of tea:  English Breakfast, Orange Pekoe, Honey Bush, Peppermint and Lemon Zinger.

And so she spent the better part of a sunny afternoon, sitting out on the patio with paper, embroidery floss, staples, tape and markers to make her own tea bags.  Her tea bags contained imaginary dried petals and herbs.

Will and I marveled at how much they looked like real tea bags.  Maybe these were tea bags for baby dolls.  They might be used for a party with imaginary friends.

Jenny served us up some “steaming hot tea” in pastel-colored cups with mismatched saucers.  Will asked for Peppermint.  I chose Earl Grey. Continue reading →

Control / My Minimalism / Parenting / Random Observations — 7 Comments
23
Apr 12

So You Say…

So you say… that you wish you could find extra hours in the day to maybe carve out a compost pile in the backyard, learn to play the fiddle or compile all those photos into scrapbooks; yet you never miss an episode of your favorite TV show.

So you say… you’d like to do a better job of keeping in touch with friends, but there’s never enough time after work, homework, laundry and dinner, especially with the time you spend on Facebook every night.

So you say… you could cut back on hours at work, if only you could get your budget under control, while spending every Saturday at the mall looking for something to fill the void.

So you say… you’ll be able to slow the family pace a bit, right after the next session of swim lessons.  Oh, but there’s another season of soccer coming up and junior has to take soccer with all his buddies.

So you say… you’re going to take this minimalist lifestyle thing seriously, once you buy the shelving to organize all the stuff in storage. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Homeschool / My Minimalism / Parenting / Quotes / Random Observations — 13 Comments
18
Apr 12

It Isn’t Fair But It Is Good


We’d gone in search of lavender fleece.  We came home with jewelry making supplies, three unpainted birdhouses in need of jazz, and half a yard of turquoise fleece for, “You know, mom….  more projects.”

The idea was that each of us would paint a birdhouse.

Will and Jen are coming out of that blissful phase of thinking everything they do is fantastic.  They are starting to compare their creations to others.  But for right now they still relish the act of creating.  That means they get out the paints, sit down on the floor and go to it.

Without a plan.

Without first sketching, erasing, sketching again or starting over. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Lack of Empathy / Narcissist Quotes / Parenting / The World Revolves Around Me / You Might Be a Narcissist If ... — 19 Comments
15
Apr 12

Narcissism – The Crux of the Matter

Me:  “He’s demonstrated that he is more than willing to put in the time.  When other kids his age beg to play Xbox, he searches the internet for tips on golf swings.  Clearly, this is one of his top three passions – it may be the thing he is most passionate about.  We’ve been told by a couple instructors that he is blessed with some natural talent.  We don’t spend money on soccer or baseball or football or guitar or karate.  I really think it’s time we get him some lessons and support him in this thing he loves.”

Him:  “My parents never did that for me.”

Moving On / Parenting / Random Observations / Seeing My Path / The World Revolves Around Me / You Might Be a Narcissist If ... — 16 Comments
10
Apr 12

When Enough Is Enough

She could remember when seeing his name in her Inbox made her heart race with excitement.  Now seeing his name in her Inbox made her palms sweat.  She let the cursor hover over his name.  She didn’t want to click to open his email.

She’d have to decide what to write back.

Did she even want to write back?

Being nice was her thing.  She’d been supportive.  She’d been there.  She’d listened and responded.

Was there anything positive coming out of this relationship?  If this was positive, why did it feel bad?

Were there healthier places to invest this energy?

Was she opening and answering emails because she was afraid there wouldn’t be another to come along.

She closed her laptop and stared out the window at the park.

__________

Her daughter came up and said, “Mom…  are you interruptible?  Can I ask you something?”

She looked into her daughter’s blue eyes and found the answer she’d been looking for:

Would she – one day – want her kids to
pin their hopes on this kind of relationship?

 

She opened her laptop and deleted his email before opening it.

Homekeeping / Parenting — 7 Comments
19
Mar 12

homekeeping 8

Three bags, nine days, and no laptop.

We’re headed off for another adventure.

Jenny has packed her favorite Barbie, a new floppy sun hat, a swim suit and sundresses.

Will is taking his skateboard.  I’m concerned he might try to sneak Nina in at the last minute.

I’m packing Sophie’s World by Jostein Gaarder.  I’ve had it for a long while.  Something tells me it’s time to read it.

The kids plan to go horseback riding, golfing, swimming, hiking and skating.  They hope to hang with a mom who doesn’t have her nose in a laptop.  I’m going to make sure that happens.

I also plan to walk, read, swim, write in a spiral notebook, and pretend to hit a little white ball with a metal stick and try to avoid saying bad words while doing so.

As I write this post, it is snowing, and that means our timing couldn’t be more perfect.  I got to shovel walks this morning, and soon we’ll be boarding a plane to head south – another example of the good being better because of the bad. ;)

If you leave a comment on the blog while I’m away, please know that I’ll reply when I return.

I’ll miss you all.

Happy Spring.

;)

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