Quotes

Child of Narcissist / Homeschool / My Minimalism / Parenting / Quotes / Random Observations — 13 Comments
18
Apr 12

It Isn’t Fair But It Is Good


We’d gone in search of lavender fleece.  We came home with jewelry making supplies, three unpainted birdhouses in need of jazz, and half a yard of turquoise fleece for, “You know, mom….  more projects.”

The idea was that each of us would paint a birdhouse.

Will and Jen are coming out of that blissful phase of thinking everything they do is fantastic.  They are starting to compare their creations to others.  But for right now they still relish the act of creating.  That means they get out the paints, sit down on the floor and go to it.

Without a plan.

Without first sketching, erasing, sketching again or starting over. Continue reading →

Moving On / Quotes / Random Observations / Tools — 16 Comments
5
Apr 12

Perspective

Cabernet and Cheaters are my middle age toolsMy breathing is loud.  I can hear my heart pounding in my ears.  I can’t remember if this is the sixth or seventh lap.

Does it even matter how many times I climb this hill, just as long as I get out here and move?

I get to the top and survey the river.  Through the pounding I hear my thoughts:

  • You are reaching for the cheaters more than you used to.
  • Maybe it’s age that keeps you from remembering how many times you’ve walked up the hill.
  • Remember when your ass was below your waist and not behind your knees?
  • You ought to have given more thought to what it would be like to physically keep up with two young kids at the age of 50.
  • When did you get to the age where  Mom Jeans are comfortable?
  • Isn’t it time to  consider coloring your hair?

I head down the hill and wonder if this upcoming birthday could quietly sneak away in the night without anyone in my family doing anything about it.  Through huffs and puffs, I laugh at myself because I know it’s not so much about the day, as it is about my perceptions of what it’s like to be turning 50. Continue reading →

Moving On / Quotes / Random Observations / Seeing My Path — 20 Comments
7
Feb 12

S.O.S.

…there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own,
 that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world,
 determined to do the only thing you could do —
 determined to save the only life you could save.
– Mary Oliver

 

Moving On / Parenting / Quotes / Random Observations / Seeing My Path — 21 Comments
28
Dec 11

Idea Magnets

Great minds discuss ideas.
Average minds discuss events.
Small minds discuss people.
– Eleanor Roosevelt
 

 The other day we stopped at a convenience store to pick up corn nuts and Cheetos for a road trip.  We placed our stuff on the counter and the clerk said, “So have you heard about the theory that if a train started out today and …. speed of light….  circling the globe…..   rate of speed…..  it would arrive in the year 2032?”

Don’t quote me on that because, honestly, I didn’t understand a word he said, but he sparked an entertaining conversation that lasted the first 30 miles of our road trip.

We have a new friend that fixes us chicken pot pie and brownies and chats with us – even kids* – about things like past lives, quantum physics, philosophy and art.

For several days after one of those dinners, Will can be heard saying, “Is that really a chair, or do you just think it’s a chair?”  Jenny will say, “Is it really that windy out, or do I just think it’s that windy out?” Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Homeschool / Parenting / Quotes / Random Observations / Tools — 10 Comments
14
Nov 11

The Impact of Attitude

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company … a church … a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude … I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is with you … we are in charge of our Attitudes.
C. Swindoll*

I have a choice.

I could wake this morning, annoyed that winter is on its way, and I’ll soon be shoveling walks and hauling firewood; or I could appreciate the built-in exercise routine that doesn’t require a monthly health club fee.

I could be angry that I am a single mom with full responsibility for raising two kids by myself; or I could appreciate how fortunate I am that they are with me 98 percent of the time.

I could be missing the much nicer house we used to live in, and the lack of money worries; or I could appreciate that this home is full of love and comfort, and my kids have learned valuable lessons that come from living within our means.

I could be annoyed by the mess from the English Muffins and coffee makings; or I could appreciate that they can make their own breakfast, and make me a cup while they’re at it.

I could be anxious that I’m single and 49; or I could revel in the sheer joy of being single and 49.

I could be worried about what the future holds, and whether I’ll benefit from the choices I’m making; or I could trust that the level of contentment I see in the three of us is a good indication that we are headed in the right direction.

I could be cranky about having started a bathroom remodel when I know next to nothing about such things; or I could turn this into a homeschool project where all three of us learn in the process.

I could bark at the kids when I can’t handle the mess; or I could acknowledge that this is their house, too, and gently ask them to help when I feel overwhelmed.

__________

 


I could choose to see what is wrong in our life and our choices; or I could choose to see what is right.


I can choose to wake with a positive attitude and greet my two with a smile and a kind voice that gets the day off to a good start.


I have a choice.


*Thank you, Kate.  ;)

Child of Narcissist / Parenting / Quotes / Seeing My Path / Tools — 7 Comments
20
Oct 11

Selective Ignorance

Who am I to question the wise words of Maya Angelou?

When I discovered that quote, it didn’t sit right with me, and yet I still posted it.  Now, I’m wondering if I posted her quote because I wish – with all my heart – that we could allow kids to be uninformed.  (I like uninformed better than ignorant.)

I wish my kids could waltz through their childhoods believing in the mischievousness of Larry the Leprechaun, the eternal kindness and generosity of Santa and the mystery of the Tooth Fairy without having to know the darker sides of human nature.

I’d love nothing more than for them to think all teachers are as endearing as Miss Honey.

I want them to sail through these years without having to know what sexting is.  I want Will to go to the skate park without my having to define the terms he finds written in spray paint in the bowls of the park.  I want Jenny to be able to wear her hair in braided pigtails without other girls teasing her that she still dresses like a little girl. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Parenting / Quotes — 9 Comments
16
Oct 11

Ignorance is Bliss

Children’s talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
– Maya Angelou

 

 

Parenting / Quotes / Random Observations / Tools — 16 Comments
23
Sep 11

To Parents of Daughters

We need to teach our daughters to distinguish between a man who flatters her and a man who compliments her ~ a man who spends money on her and a man who invests in her ~ a man who views her as property and a man who views her properly ~ a man who lusts after her and a man who loves her ~ a man who believes he is God’s gift to women and a man who remembers a woman was God’s gift to man.

– Unknown

*Thank you, Kate.
Quotes / Random Observations — 2 Comments
15
Jul 11

Everyone Is Just Waiting

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite. Or waiting around for Friday night or waiting perhaps for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil or a better break or a string of pearls or a pair of pants or a wig with curls or another chance. Everyone is just waiting.
Dr. Seuss

 

Quotes / Random Observations / Seeing My Path — 5 Comments
10
May 11

On Creativity

I can’t wait for her to be done so she can move the lamp that’s just above my face, and upright my chair.  After more sloshing, whirring and sucking sounds, she finishes.  She asks a couple questions about Jen and Will and homeschooling.  She tells me about her son’s recent fall and how quickly the break healed.

She moves the lamp and returns my chair to the upright position and steps out to answer the phone.

I’ve been going to the same dentist for almost 20 years.  Some visits I’m placed in a chair where I can’t see the quote.  The framed quote has been on the window wall since I’ve been going to his office.  I can’t remember when I didn’t want a copy.  The quote is printed on yellowing parchment.  The frame is heavy, brown painted wood.

Last week I finally wrote it down…

 

On Creativity

The man who follows the crowd, will usually get no further than the crowd.  The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been before.
Creativity in living is not without its attendant difficulties, for peculiarity breeds contempt.  And the unfortunate thing about being ahead of your time is that when people finally realize you were right, they’ll say it was obvious all along.
You have two choices in life:  You can dissolve into the mainstream, or you can be distinct.  To be distinct, you must be different.  To be different, you must strive to be what no one else but you can be.
— Alan Ashley-Pitt
Child of Narcissist / Quotes — 2 Comments
13
Apr 11

Getting Away

vacation

Vacation is what you take when you can’t take what you’ve been taking any longer.
Unknown

 

Child of Narcissist / Control / Lack of Empathy / Narcissist Quotes / Quotes / The World Revolves Around Me / You Might Be a Narcissist If ... — Comments Off on Narcissism and Kindness
6
Feb 11

Narcissism and Kindness

Nobody can  be  kinder  than  the  narcissist  while  you react to life in his own terms.
Elizabeth Bowen

Child of Narcissist / Quotes / Tools — 8 Comments
1
Feb 11

Getting Good at Laughing

Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the day.
Ann Landers

 

 

Moving On / Quotes / Seeing My Path / Tools — 5 Comments
20
Jan 11

A Twist on a Classic

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.
Author Unknown

 

Control / Quotes — 5 Comments
9
Jan 11

Sourcing the Narcissist

Narcissists have no enemies. They have only Sources of Narcissistic Supply. An enemy means attention means supply. One holds sway over one’s enemy. If the narcissist has the power to provoke emotions in you, then you are still a Source of Supply to him, regardless of which emotions are provoked.
S. Vaknin
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