Posts Tagged: a girl can dream

Child of Narcissist / Control / Parenting / You Might Be a Narcissist If ... — 8 Comments
24
Aug 12

On Being The Windshield

Sometimes your the windshield,
Sometimes your the bug.
-The Bug Lyrics
Mary Chapin Carpenter
 

A month ago, we told Mark that his scheduled visits weren’t working for us.

He had been the one to print the calendars and assign the visit days and hours per visit.  He delivered the calendars sometimes two months in advance and, in most cases, refused to be flexible saying, “The calendar was printed two months ago.  The kids know the schedule.  There will be no changes or cancellations.”

Life doesn’t work that way – especially with curious, creative, active young people.

Cousins come to town and want to spend every waking – heck, even the sleeping – moment with cousins they see only once a year.

Friends call with invites to fish or solve mysteries or paint or golf or just hang out all day without plans. Continue reading →

Moving On / Seeing My Path / Stories — 15 Comments
4
Aug 12

On Old Wounds and Changing Bandages

“Can I see you when I get out that way?”

She replied to his email – the one she shouldn’t have opened – with, “As friends.”

He didn’t like that answer.  (Do guys ever like that answer?)

He waited to call, hoping she’d make the first move.

She didn’t. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / My Minimalism / Parenting / Random Observations — 8 Comments
24
Jul 12

Notes From a Summer Getaway

You may be thinking that you need a prescription, but it could be that you need to drive a road that lazily winds around a mountain lake.  Roll the windows down and sing to the Doobie Brothers.*

Kids don’t need DVD players or iPads if one of ’em has a fishing pole, the other has a floaty mattress for playing in the lake and they both have nets for catching minnows.

Moms don’t need laptops, internet connection or a day at the spa if they have a good friend to chat with and reservations for dinner.

The withdrawals from that lack of internet connection last about four hours.  Fill the void with Cheetos and red wine.  It’ll pass. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Moving On / Parenting / Stories / You Might Be a Narcissist If ... — 25 Comments
17
Jul 12

A Wink From the Universe

She certainly didn’t need another cup of coffee.

She looked inside her purse to make sure the box of Pepcid was there.  She wouldn’t have been surprised if – in the panic this morning – she’d left it on the kitchen counter.

Good.  There was the Pepcid.  She took one with a sip of cold coffee.

The worst part about these court appearances is that they were early in the day – too early for liquid courage.

At least the kids didn’t have to be at this court appearance.  It was stressful enough without having to consider the emotional fallout from the kids.  It’s not like she could pump them full of antacids.

__________ Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Moving On / Seeing My Path — 38 Comments
5
Jul 12

Scream It With Me

From the nearest hilltop.

From a virtual mountain, if that’s your thing.

From the top floor of your apartment building.

From your desk at work with your mute button on.

From your shower.

With fists clenched and head thrown back…

 

“I am a good person.

I have a kind heart.

I have always tried to do my best.

I know I am responsible for where I have ended up.

 

Must I pay for my mistakes for the rest of my life?!

 

May I be done now?”

 

 

Straighten your blouse, brush your bangs to the side, glance around to see if anyone is staring and get back on your path.

 

 

*The desperate screams of a woman who fears she’ll have to deal with her narcissistic ex-husband for the rest of her life.

 

Child of Narcissist / Lack of Empathy / Quotes / You Might Be a Narcissist If ... — 9 Comments
3
Jul 12

When He Cries

yin and yangBeware of men who cry.
It’s true that men who cry are sensitive to and in touch with feelings,
but the only feelings they tend to be sensitive to and in touch with
are their own.
– Nora Ephron
 

Beware the man who, when you tell him you’re leaving your husband, starts to cry and lament the fact that his wife left him five years ago.

 

Beware the man who, when surrounded by the beauty of his own children, sheds “happy” tears about a stranger’s five year old daughter who sat on his lap and kissed his cheek.

 

Embrace the man who gazes at you and tears up because he knows his life is blessed by your presence; and he makes it his mission to never let you feel taken for granted.

 

 

 

Moving On / My Minimalism / Random Observations / Seeing My Path — 17 Comments
14
Jun 12

The Best Kind of Party

Planning life like you would plan a partyGrab a pen.  We’re going to plan a party.

Really.

This’ll be fun.

What if you planned your life like you would plan the ultimate party?

Wait….  don’t tell me you hate planning parties.  That’s probably because you think that you have to invite certain people, serve particular foods and drinks, provide a sparkling evening that will please everyone and clean up the mess when it’s over. Continue reading →

Control / Lack of Empathy / Moving On / My Minimalism / Recipes / Tools — 22 Comments
8
Jun 12

The Secret Ingredient in My Low-Tech Cappuccino

 

The froth is the perfect warmth as it clings to my lips.   The nutmeg tastes earthy.   The espresso is strong enough without stealing the show from the froth.  And the sugar….  oh…

Starting the day with cappuccino is a fine way to practice a little self-care.  This is indulgence with a kick.

 

Low-Tech Cappuccino

  • 1/3 C  2% milk
  • 3 T finely ground espresso or dark roast
  • 1 t sugar – rounded and spilling over
  • pinch of nutmeg or cinnamon or both

    • Continue reading →

Quotes / Tools — 4 Comments
29
May 12

On Clandestine Messages

Enter each day with the expectation that the happenings of the day may contain a clandestine message addressed to you personally.  Expect omens, epiphanies, casual blessings, and teachers who unknowingly speak to your condition. 
– Sam Keen
 

 

 

Child of Narcissist / Random Observations — 5 Comments
26
May 12

Proof of Love

proof of loveThe bouquet looks tired.  She ought to have pitched it a couple days ago.  She turns the vase to view the arrangement from a different angle and convinces herself that if she changed the water, she could enjoy it for another day or two.

He leaves hand prints in the dust on the cover of the box as he opens it.  The box contains a package of lures, empty 22 shells, skateboard bearings, tech deck pieces and pictures of successful fishing trips.  He keeps the packaging from the gifts.  He’s yet to use the lures for fear he’ll lose one.

He closes the box and grabs for his cell.  He’s hoping to make plans to shoot gophers or stop at the convenience store to pick up worms and go fishing or take a long bike ride.  He leaves another message.

She devotes a drawer in her vanity to notes and cards.  There’s one her dad have given her on her twelfth birthday.  There’s a scribbled note from the boy that sat behind her in 8th grade English.  She found a couple from college roommates.

The drawer is lined with the glitter sprinkled on the “fancier” cards.  She remembers being a little girl excitedly opening a birthday card.  The glitter would stick to her fingers as she read the card’s message.  She believed receiving a fancy card was a sign of a true, lasting kind of love. Continue reading →

My Minimalism / Random Observations — 7 Comments
18
May 12

Still Life with Flowers

 

This quiet moment full of beauty is brought to you by a sprig of Lily of the Valley, a Begonia blossom, and a spritely Johnny Jump Up.

 

 

Thanks for stopping by.

 

 

Child of Narcissist / Control / Moving On / Seeing My Path — 21 Comments
15
May 12

My Conversation With Audrey Hepburn

I steeled myself enough to peek over the edge of the covers.  Audrey was staring back at me.

“This is kind of late for you, isn’t it Dear?  Shouldn’t you be well into the morning’s chapter of reading by now?”

“I know, Audrey.  I know.  This is late.  I’m hiding.  I’m playing the role of the ostrich today.”

“I see.  So because you received a call with some unsettling news on Saturday, and slumped around in a funk all day Sunday, you think what you really need to do today is sleep in and avoid the rest of the world?”

“Well… yes.  I am going to fold my tent.  I will fold it neatly and tuck it away.  I’ll spend the day in bed with the covers pulled over my head and wait for everything to blow away in the wind.” Continue reading →

Moving On / Random Observations / Seeing My Path — 14 Comments
10
May 12

Comfortable as an Old Pair of Jeans

She walks in the door after a day of meetings, appointments, disappointments and challenges.  Before she pours a glass of red, she puts on her favorite pair of jeans – the ones with the threadbare knees.  The cotton has softened with many washings, and now the fabric covering her thighs resembles suede more than denim.

She sits on the couch with her legs curled under her.  With each sip of wine, she mulls over the day.  As she reviews the interactions she can’t help but think of how she felt during each exchange.

__________

The meeting with her supervisor left her feeling stiff and tense  – the same way she feels when dressed for work in a crisply ironed blouse and business suit.  There never seems to be room enough to stretch her arms or take a deep breath.  A day spent in that suit is a day spent as someone else.

The lunch with her sister was every bit as uncomfortable as the expensive wool sweater her sister had given her last Christmas.  The style didn’t fit her.  The colors didn’t match anything in her closet.   On the rare occasion that she wore the itchy cardigan, she was reminded of how disconnected she and her sister had always been.  The scratchy texture of the wool equaled her sister’s insensitivity. Continue reading →

Parenting / Quotes — 6 Comments
6
May 12

Anything Can Be


Listen to the Mustn’ts
Listen to the mustn’ts, child
Listen to the don’ts
Listen to the shouldn’ts
The impossibles, the won’ts
Listen to the never haves
Then listen close to me–
Anything can happen, child
Anything can be. 

-Shel Silverstein
 
 
Moving On / Parenting / Random Observations / Seeing My Path — 15 Comments
4
May 12

On Enjoying the Ride

Imagine how sweet this journey would be if we quit second-guessing every one of our decisions.  What if we reveled in the things that went well for longer than we stewed over the things that went wrong.

We’d more easily live in the moment, if we quit beating ourselves up over how we mishandled the last moment.

 

Potholes Along the Way

Festering, lingering, dwelling on the difficult does not help us learn the lesson better; it keeps us in a holding pattern and prevents the arrival of new lessons. Continue reading →

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