Hola Friends,
I have not found a new zip code. I’m still here. I have been putting out fires, reinforcing boundaries and meeting the train head on. I was inspired by what Julie Roads had to say about dealing with things instead of running from them, or putting them off, in ‘Rapid Hearts‘.
It proves to be a test of whether I really can take charge — an exhilarating, empowering test.
The wasband has contacted a counselor and his lawyer. He wants to work on being the dad his kids need. Perhaps that is a good thing. I’m not even hoping for that anymore. I’m staying the course, raising my kids, raking the yard, walking the hill and getting excited about vacation.
And planning out my next posts. Continue reading →
Another one for the “If All Else Fails” File. Make cookies and have the girls over. I had to follow the last downer of a post with something happier. Will and I scooped the chocolate chip cookie dough, and Jen scooped teensy tiny cookies for Barbie and Sophie. She baked them off in the toaster oven and invited me and Will to a party. That’s a miniature bowl of frosting next to the plate of cookies.
“And that is another great example of how there are so many different ways to make a living.” My grandfather used to say that. He’d had his share of different careers – mechanic, draftsman, lumber yard manager and more that I can’t remember. We’d be playing Yahtzee, visiting about someone we both knew, and he’d marvel at how the world was changing and people were finding new and interesting ways to make a living.
What is worse – having a narcissistic father that fights for custody and makes the kids’ lives miserable on a daily basis, or having a narcissistic father who wants nothing to do with his children, if they won’t do things his way? I think Will and Jenny have it better. While they will certainly be hurt by the fact that their dad can so easily walk away, they won’t have to deal with the day-to-day dismissals of who they are. They won’t have Mark belittling them or using them as extensions of himself.
This is a picture of the cardboard iPod that Jenny made. She brought it skiing today. Her brother got one for Christmas, and she wants to be a ‘cool kid’, too, so she made her own. At lunch, in the lodge, she was playing with her ‘iPod’, and Will said, “Jen, some people are laughing at your iPod.” Jenny defiantly said, “So what!” I hope she’s able to maintain that attitude. Later, she asked if I wanted a pretend iPod. I wanted to say, “Nah. No thanks, honey. I’ve had a pretend boyfriend for almost 3 years. I’m done pretending for awhile.
I don’t like watching people eat live, slimy, crawling insects. In the old days, I watched the reality TV show, 
