encouragement « Surviving Narcissism

Posts Tagged: encouragement

Child of Narcissist / Moving On / Stories — 6 Comments
24
Aug 13

Born With Fine Wings

She was born with wings – just like everyone else in the forest. Like theirs, her new wings were tender, fragile and craving the warmth of the sun.

In those first few years, she’d been fortunate enough to dance in the sun on the light side of the forest. She didn’t spend a lot of time on the light side, but when she was there, she felt her wings stretch and reach and show their splendor. She would crave that joyful feeling her whole life.

Most days she could be found tiptoeing under mushrooms on the dark side of the forest. She kept her wings folded close to her back. When her wings were tucked in, she felt protected and safe from harm.

When she wasn’t exploring under mushrooms, collecting rocks or planting seeds, she would venture out to see what she could see. There she would find others – some with wings tucked in, and others with their wings spread. Those with spread wings moved about talking of the shapes of mushrooms or the colors of moss or the mess of pine needles covering the forest floor. Continue reading →

Parenting / Postcards From a Thriver / Random Observations — 6 Comments
7
Aug 13

If No One Told You How To Create

If they didn’t tell you that you can’t make a tiny mermaid out of fabric, what would you create?

If they didn’t tell you that skies are always blue and trees are always green, how would you draw them?

If you hadn’t been force-fed their rules, how would you play the game?

Continue reading →

Parenting / Postcards From a Thriver / Random Observations — 4 Comments
2
Aug 13

On Self-Improvement

He’s running across the yard with a huge grin on his face. “Mom! It’s 20 yards from the road. I made it that far! Pretty soon I’ll be hitting the road.”

“Bud, that’s awesome! Ah…. you might have to find a new place to hit from. That could get ugly if you hit a car.”

“I know, but can we pace it off? Can we see how far I’m hitting ’em?”

I grab my coffee and he’s still holding on to his driver when we start counting our paces across the park. We walk over irrigation sprinklers that create patchworks of green on an otherwise brown landscape. We side-step thistle and the party favors left by the neighborhood dogs. I’m counting out loud as we go.

We get to his ball when I reach 238 paces. Continue reading →

Child of Narcissist / Random Observations — 11 Comments
22
Jul 13

On Goddesses, Full Moons and the Wisdom of a 10 Year Old

We were walking to the park. The day’s heat was turning into the moist cool of night. “So… that was probably the longest phone call you’ve had with your dad in as long as I can remember?”

“Yeah. Whew! A lot… of questions.”

“Well… what do you think?”

“What I am supposed to think?”

“I said that wrong. How do you feel?” Continue reading →

Postcards From a Thriver — 12 Comments
11
Jul 13

“There Might Be Mermaids!”

“There might be mermaids! Could there be? Why not?”

They’d been hiking around the park, hunting for grasshoppers. They kept hearing a whooshing sound. They gave up the hunt to follow the sound and discovered a mini waterfall spilling from the side of the hill.

They ran back down the hill to get me. “Mom! You’ve gotta see what we discovered! Come on!”

As we hiked the hill, I noticed the expanse of greener grass that had been watered by the spill. It spread down the hill like a lush blanket.

When we arrived at the point of discovery*, their imaginations took flight.

“Well there could be mermaids down there. The water is cool and clear. They like that kind of water.”

“Let’s call grandpa! He’s gotta see this!”

“There is so much water every where! Can this be our discovery?”

They were excited and pleased with what they hoped they were the first to see. They imagined all possible and impossible explanations.

We stood in the sun and watched the park drink up the sparkling pools of water.

For 60 minutes, I forgot about laundry, dirty dishes, weeds in the garden and to-do lists. For one whole lovely hour I was a kid who believed in the unbelievable.

There could be mermaids or pots of gold under rainbows or unicorns or charming princes.

There could be _________________________.

You fill in the blank with whatever it is that makes your day brighter – even if for only a minute.

*It turns out the source was a broken irrigation line, but it was fun imagining until reality set in.

Postcards From a Thriver is a new category on the blog.
Look for bright spots and examples of a thriving life.

Child of Narcissist / Lack of Empathy / Parenting / You Might Be a Narcissist If ... — 11 Comments
16
May 13

In Good Company

Over chocolate milk, Rice Krispies and coffee we had a venting session about yesterday’s dad visit. It used to be that our rants were punctuated with tears and “How long do we have to do these visits?” Now the rants are filled with laughs, OMGs, “Can you believe hims?” and “How long do we have to do these visits?”

“Why does everything have to be about him?”

“You know the answer, Bud. It’s like the ground shifts under him when things stop being about him. He needs everything to be about him to have some sense of control. It doesn’t make sense. It’s frustrating. Imagine what it’s like to live like that.”

Continue reading →

Moving On / Seeing My Path / Survivor Support / Tools / Words Got Her Home — 4 Comments
1
Mar 13

Help In The Night

She wanted to switch on the light, but she didn’t dare wake him. On those sleepless nights, if the moon wasn’t too bright, she could see stars through the skylights above their bed. Maybe one day, when she was free to pursue her own interests, she’d learn the constellations – Cassiopeia, Orion and the others. The names made her think of possibility.

Possibility was what she needed to believe in right now.

Was it possible to feel good again?

Was it possible to create a healthier life – better than this life full of fears and disappointments and anger?

She gently turned back the covers and stepped out of bed. She had tiptoed down the stairs enough times in the dark to feel her way down without bumping into anything. Once downstairs, she could turn on a light, slide out the drawer in the office desk, and reach into the back for a small, innocent-looking spiral notepad. The pages were worn. The pad was almost full. She had turned down corners on pages that held the notes that touched her most deeply. Continue reading →

Moving On / Quotes / Tools — Comments Off
23
Feb 13

Words Got Her Home

Mantras, prayers, meditations, famous quotes,
personal Post-Its, and journal entries –
these are the words I used to move on
and create a better future for myself and my kids.

This new ebook is a compilation of the powerful words
that made a difference in our lives.

Find Words Got Her Home on Smashwords.com or Amazon.com.

Thanks for reading!

Moving On / Quotes / Random Observations / Seeing My Path — 4 Comments
15
Feb 13

Words Got Her Out

A few more boxes to pack and load into the car and she’d be done.

She thumbed through magazine clippings that had been filed in an office drawer. Some clippings dated back to her college years – that dreamy phase of, “When I grow up and marry, I hope my kitchen has …..”

There were clippings of herb gardens, bathroom paint colors in sage and mint, examples of open shelves instead of upper cabinets for the ideal kitchen, and nursery ideas.

__________

Her girlfriends thought she was crazy for not wanting upper kitchen cabinets. She loved how open shelving prevented her from collecting junk. Continue reading →

Quotes — Comments Off
28
Jan 13

Encouragement

Most of us,
swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about,
need only a bit of praise or encouragement –
and we will make the goal.

– Robert Collier

Child of Narcissist / Moving On / Parenting / Survivor Support / Tools — Comments Off
24
Jan 13

Survivor Support

In Survivor Support, I will call your attention to a new commenter who reaches out to us for encouragement or guidance or a compassionate ear.

We have created a most healthy group of wise individuals who send positive ripples out whenever needed.

It’s time to send more ripples.

Survivors and Thrivers, please see Kristin’s comment on this post.

Thanks,

Jesse

Postcards From a Thriver / Random Observations — 9 Comments
1
May 10

A May Day Surprise

lilacs We’re sending you a May Day Surprise. Since it’s a ‘virtual’ gift we can put in whatever we want – even if it’s not in season.

We’ve created a parchment cone with a twine handle. The parchment is a golden, brownish sort of sepia color and it’s relatively sturdy so that it can hold up to the twine that is looped through the holes on either side. The cones aren’t perfect, but they are full of love and sweetness. Some of the points of the cones are a little dented, and there might be too much twine hanging loosely where it’s knotted at the sides.

We’ve tucked in snipped twigs of the most fragrant, plump blossoms of lilacs. The colors range from the lightest shade of lavender to a deep, almost burgundy shade of purple. Here and there, Jenny poked in a few daisies, and Will tucked in some Italian Flat Leaf Parsley.

We’ve just hung this cone at your door.

This is Will’s favorite part… we’ll ring the bell and run.

You’ll set down your coffee on the way to the door and wonder, “Who could be stopping by today?”

You’ll open your door and be pleasantly surprised to see this funny little paper cone full of flowers. You’ll scoop up the cone and wonder, “Who left this here? This must be some kind of mistake. Who would bring me fresh lilacs?”

__________

Then you’ll remember that it’s the first day of May. You’ll remember being a child, in grade school, when the sun was starting to warm the playground. The teacher had told you about how kids used to dance around a May Pole. At recess, you stood in the sun to warm your shoulders, discovered the tether ball pole, and tried to picture what it would be like to dance around a May Pole with a wreath of flowers in your hair.

__________

With the cone of flowers in hand, you’ll walk back into the house, and sit down at the kitchen table. You’ll breathe in the deep scent of lilacs. Then you’ll discover the note card. On the envelope it says, “For You”.

for-you