She winds the strands of her beaded necklace through delicate fingers. Tilting her head back, she exhales, and points the ember in the direction of the couple yelling at their dog. Continue reading →
Moving On
23
Apr 13
On When to Leave
Have you ever stood outside waiting for the 4th of July Fireworks to start while swatting mosquitoes and listening to the bats as they whiz by your head? The first chrysanthemum explodes and your kid says, “Mom, how will I know when it’s the grand finale?” Continue reading →
18
Apr 13
On Spring Cleaning, Fly Fishing and Hard Feelings
My idea of spring cleaning consists of blowing the dust off the stuff on the high shelf just enough to release the cobwebs that are anchored there. When a quick puff didn’t take care of things, I reached up to pull this jar down. It’s been on my bathroom shelf since we moved to this home. Continue reading →
19
Mar 13
On Resiliency
Last night, no amount of bathroom humor would tease her out of her funk. She plotted a daughter’s revenge – cryptic drawings on paper that would then be tossed in the wood stove.
I asked if she wanted to have a slumber party in my bed. “I’ll tickle your back. You can tell me anything or nothing at all.”
She brushed her teeth. I braided her hair. She pushed the cat aside and crawled in my bed and said, “I’m sick of all of this.”
___________
Today she discovered how to make different sizes of paper frogs. She colored them brightly and called them Baby and Mommy and one of them was even Dad. Right now she’s beating her brother at a dice game, and when a favorite song comes on Pandora, she dances by me twirling and whirling and smiling and not thinking about anything but good stuff.
That is the resiliency of kids.
That is the roller coaster of life.
1
Mar 13
Help In The Night
She wanted to switch on the light, but she didn’t dare wake him. On those sleepless nights, if the moon wasn’t too bright, she could see stars through the skylights above their bed. Maybe one day, when she was free to pursue her own interests, she’d learn the constellations – Cassiopeia, Orion and the others. The names made her think of possibility. Continue reading →
23
Feb 13
Words Got Her Home
Mantras, prayers, meditations, famous quotes,
personal Post-Its, and journal entries -
these are the words I used to move on
and create a better future for myself and my kids.
This new ebook is a compilation of the powerful words
that made a difference in our lives.
$1.99
15
Feb 13
Words Got Her Out
A few more boxes to pack and load into the car and she’d be done. Continue reading →
5
Feb 13
When to Stay Away
The thing is, most of the time I know when to stay away. Continue reading →
24
Jan 13
Survivor Support
In Survivor Support, I will call your attention to a new commenter who reaches out to us for encouragement or guidance or a compassionate ear.
We have created a most healthy group of wise individuals who send positive ripples out whenever needed.
It’s time to send more ripples.
Survivors and Thrivers, please see Kristin’s comment on this post.
Thanks,
Jesse
23
Jan 13
Letter of Resignation
Dear Narcissist,
We resign as caretakers.
We will no longer protect you, make excuses for your behavior or come to your defense. We will not sweep your abuses under the rug. We will not pretend like your treatment is acceptable.
We will not allow you to manipulate us or control us.
You will not hurt us again.
We will not feel sorry for you.
I will not coach your children on what to say to you in order to keep the peace. I will point out your behaviors to make sure that the children understand that they are not to be blamed for your mistreatment.
We will not cater to you, tiptoe around you or deal with your mood swings.
We will not allow you to make us feel inferior.
We are good enough.
We will no longer see ourselves through your eyes.
We will no longer see ourselves through your eyes.
We will no longer see ourselves through your eyes.
Signed,
Jesse, Will and Jenny
*Survivors,
You may be thinking that by now we would have successfully moved on. Just yesterday I heard myself coaching Will on what not to say to his father over the phone. After almost seven years, I still fall into the trap of protecting the narcissist.
