Narcissist Quotes

The healthiest way to survive a narcissistic relationship is with a wicked sense of humor.

This page is dedicated to the incredibly ridiculous, bizarrely outrageous things that only a narcissist would say.

If you would like to add to the list, please send your strange, odd, and unbelievable narcissist quotes to

You know we’ll believe you.

Let’s keep the quotes on the lighter, funny side.  This will be for survivors who truly want a good laugh.

You may submit anonymously if that makes you more comfortable.


Here are a few for starters:

“You were a lot more fun as a girlfriend.”

“You mean to tell me that Jenny’s coming down with a cold?  I just kissed her!”

“You guys will want to be sure and run out and get the Sunday paper.  I’m going to be in it.”

“Your car needs a new air filter.  I’ll put that on your list for Christmas presents.”

“I’m tired of your winter coat.  Why don’t you give me your Christmas Bonus and I’ll order a new one for you.”

“Are you at all interested in how this situation is going to benefit me?”

“I think the problem here is that I need more control.”

“I’ll go to counseling and support you in your efforts to find out what’s wrong with you.”


For more strange quotes, check out this post, and keep laughing.